Christmas In The 13th Month
by Nerva al'Thor
Summary: -Crossover: Vampire Knight/ Chap 27- Kaname Kuran raised his gaze again, daring to look into those eyes that held nothing and yet everything.
1. Gaze

**This story is cross-posted from a secondary account: Wan Qian.**

* * *

**01 - Gaze**

It was an obscure café, one that would only be found by people who had sharp eyes, people who could not sleep, people who were bored and people who wanted to be alone. It was located in a blind street, behind a hotel, and its painted windows faced brick walls that seemed to give the impression that whoever walked down the alley was being squashed. It was not advisable for claustrophobics to pass by this café; Tokyo after all had many other favorable locations and shops.

Customers, what handful of them, referred to the café as Nameless, just for the sake of giving an actual nameless shop something to call it with whenever by chance it would be mentioned in conversations or phone calls. The place itself was not as bad as its location: it has a Swiss-like ambience, full of beautifully varnished dark wood pieces, dim tapering lamps and wide, scrubbed tables. The bar was located some five to eight meters from the door, and behind it stood shelves filled with a random combination of wine and coffee. It also served light meals, from sandwiches to pancakes and some variations of pasta.

Kaname liked to go to the Nameless whenever he felt that the Academy and even Yuki was grating on his nerves. He loved his peace and quiet, and the place seemed to offer a kind of solace and refuge from all the nightly humdrum that have comprised most of his years. He would go there clad as simply as he could, usually in dark shirts, slacks and shoes, sitting by his favorite spot by the windows, the windows which always faced the imposing brick walls. Sometimes he would stay for until daybreak, with just enough time to go back to the Moon Dorm before the sun's lethal fingers reached him. Sometimes he would stay for minutes only, ordering his customary cappuccino, to be taken in with a blood pill or two, and he would leave. Sometimes he would order a pancake or a salad and take his time eating. It all depended on his whim.

Tonight Kaname went to his usual place to calm the disquiet in his soul. It was around eleven in the evening, he hadn't really bothered to check; he'd just flitted out the window when nobody was looking, skipping classes as he went. Not that Kaname Kuran needed all those classes anyway. He could probably teach the Day Class himself, if only the sun would let him. That was a nice thought. Yuki had always said he'd look good in a teacher's clothes…

Yuki. His sister, his fiancée. She was beside herself lately, finalizing the preparations of their coming wedding. At the start Kaname had joined in her work with much enthusiasm, but lately though, he couldn't really define why he was losing interest. Or maybe he could really define it – he was just too scared to tell himself the reason why he was starting to dislike the routine, the expectant look in everyone's eyes in the dorms. Ichijou surely had caught on what was happening to him, but the guy never asked until he said something.

There were no stars for tonight. Kaname hoped that it wouldn't rain on him while he was heading back to the Academy. He had disdained to bring the umbrella Aido had offered; it was horrendously pink, even to his eyes. If worse came to worse…well he always enjoyed a walk under a downpour.

He peered down his cup with crimson eyes. He'd drank all the cappuccino an hour ago, together with two blood pills. He was better now, no longer minding the café's two other customers in his thoughts. Maybe he should order four pancakes. Yes. Actually he felt like eating this evening.

Kaname twisted a bit in his chair, already raising his left arm to call the attention of the elderly shop owner to place his order. There was a sudden ring as the shop door opened, obscuring him from view, and a fourth customer entered the shop. Kaname, slightly ruffled for being obscured from the shop owner's view, decided to glance up the offending newcomer's face.

And would wish, later on, that he didn't.

He found himself looking up into sharp, winter gray eyes that could have shamed his own when he was angry. The coldness those sharp, sharp eyes seemed to freeze Kaname into his chair as he let his left arm fall quietly back to his side. They had long lashes, those eyes, long enough to rival Ruka's or Rima's, maybe, but it was their brightness, their sharpness that made him…

Whoever it was, the person immediately walked up to the bar and spoke quietly toward the shopkeeper. Afterwards the figure moved toward the far end of the dim room, choosing the most obscure table he could find behind the black grand piano in the middle of the salon. He – Kaname was sure it was a guy – sat with his back facing the rest of the shop, and let down the hood of the bottle green jacket he was wearing. Blue-black locks of hair cascaded down his back, hanging down to his waist.

Kaname shook his thoughts and raised his left arm again, waving politely at the shopkeeper. The elderly man immediately went to him with a piece of those little sheets of paper he always carried, a sharpened pencil in his hand.

"Yes, sir?"

The vampire gave his own smile. "Three regular pancakes. No butter. Just the syrup."

"And your syrup is?"

"Maple, as usual."

"In ten minutes."

Waiting had always been easy for him. But that evening, it started to get difficult. Kaname's thoughts strayed again and again toward those gray eyes he'd glimpsed. They were so sharp…so sharp to the point that you could no longer read any emotion in them. They were alive with a certain light but at the same time dead from within. Kaname wondered why he was thinking of somebody's eyes now. The person's gaze bothered him. He cast a look toward the corner of the room where the gray-eyed unknown had seated himself. He still had his back and his hair facing most of the café.

_Won't you turn around?_

He waited. He hoped the figure would turn around and give him a face, so he could stop thinking of his dead eyes. But Kaname Kuran waited in vain; even as the shopkeeper came with the man's order (some sort of sandwich and tea, it seemed), the man himself never budged an inch, never made a move to turn around. Surely such a forceful gaze as his would be felt by now. If the man felt him looking, he didn't show it.

_Look at me._

"Your pancakes, sir."

"T-thank you."

He was distracted. He was getting annoyed over a small matter such as this, an unknown man refusing to look at him when he certainly felt the attention. Kaname had a fleeting urge to walk up to the man's table and demand what was wrong with him, but if he did that, that would be the epitome of strange. Besides, Kaname Kuran didn't go charging into stupid and reckless things.

_I said look at me, damnit. Look at me._

The man, whoever it was, finished his sandwich and rose easily. Kaname hoped he would get a glimpse of a face now, but his hope was dashed when the guy pulled his hood up first, seemingly crushing those frail strands of hair around his head. When he did turn, only his nose and lower face was visible. He had pale skin. He went to the counter, paid with exact change, and walked out into the night.

The pancakes were forgotten.

--

Distractions.

Kaname Kuran had no time for distractions, much less ridiculous ones like a pair of sharp gray eyes. He had gotten distracted like this before, nothing to worry. But, in the old times, the effective cure to such a distraction was to personally hunt down the person and drink his or her blood until the person died. Kaname could no longer do that now, and somewhere, at the deepest corners of his head, his brain told him he was not after this guy's blood. At least, not yet.

Yuki had somehow noted he was agitated, and had tried to ask him to help her choosing the colors for their invitation cards. He'd refused point-blank and apologized soon after, excusing himself that he was just really rather off lately. She'd kissed him and told him he shouldn't push himself too hard. Somehow the chuckle he answered her with didn't sound enthusiastic.

It grated his nerves that his schedule for the next three days didn't permit him to get out of the dorms. He grew uneasy, his temper just a bit shorter. He'd even snapped at Ichijou when the other dared to inquire what was wrong.

Kaname knew he had to get out.

HAD to.

He took the guy's place for this night – that corner behind the grand piano. But he didn't have his back turned to the room. It struck him how this place could offer so much visibility while guaranteeing that you weren't easily seen. It was a perfect corner for people who were out to plan things, or had things to say they'd rather not let others in on.

He finished his pancakes too, see. He ordered them earlier and finished them all off to compensate for his wasted cash some nights ago.

_This isn't making sense. What am I doing here?_

There were just two customers that evening: himself and a batty lady who muttered into her cup of tea about the things that prevented her from sleeping. Kaname had been hoping for three hours now that those familiar gray eyes would make themselves known again.

He just needed a face. If he got a face, he could forget and be at peace again. This agitation would not be healthy if he let it continue.

The bell rang. Kaname tried hard not to look up, but he failed. He looked up, eagerly.

It was not what he expected.

The gray-eyed distraction (where did that come from?) entered as if he owned the place. Unlike that first glimpse Kaname had of him, he was not hiding his features this time. His hair was longer than Kaname thought it was; even in a ponytail he was sure when let loose, those rich blue-black strands would reach past the guy's buttocks. He was pale; pale enough to rival himself. He was tall, slender, but Kaname knew the figure of a fighter. The guy also moved with a fluid kind of grace that made it look like every step he took was a small dance in its own.

Kaname stared too much. He quickly noted the guy's uniform - black leather with definite insignias and markings of gold. He did not miss the golden coats-of-arms of the military arm of the Vatican on the man's chest. The guy was an Exorcist, then. Those humans with mystic powers and supernatural fighting abilities that hunt down and destroy soulless monsters called Akuma, creatures not so different from Level E's. Kaname never really bothered to study the lore of the Akuma. The Vatican was wary about the vampire world but kept away most of the time, and Kaname didn't want unwanted conflicts.

_Exorcist…_

The man stood there, as if he went to the wrong place. He seemed intent on catching something. Kaname let his eyes look at whatever they could. The uniform fitted the guy's figure perfectly. He had a sheathed katana at his side, his left hand holding it furtively. Kaname did not need to confirm that the guy probably had lightning-fast reaction time. He wondered though, how this man fought off his own kind of enemies with that dancing gait he had…

…And to his tremendous surprise, found himself subjected under the scrutiny of those eyes again. Kaname blinked idly, his face showing nothing of his apparent shock of being spotted. The exorcist looked like a hunting mastiff finally catching on the scent of a prey. Straightening himself, he turned on his heels and walked toward Kaname.

Kaname Kuran was suddenly aware that finally having a face to complete the picture of the eyes that haunted him was no real help. This exorcist, whoever he was, was beautiful enough to be a girl if that hard expression of determination and no-nonsense left his face. He had an ageless kind of beauty, one that made it difficult to guess how old he was, but Kaname's instincts told him this guy was young…young, only 18 years old perhaps. Those locks of blue-black hair framed the face in an impossibly pretty way, the darkness of the hair accentuating the pale skin and the sharp, alert features.

For a moment the exorcist stared him down. Kaname couldn't stand the scrutiny. The man looked at him like he was some insect he longed to crush under his boot heels. Nobody looked at Kaname Kuran that way. Nobody.

Except this person, apparently.

"You."

Unceremoniously, the exorcist pulled up the chair across his and sat down. Kaname stared back silently.

"What." He said.

Those gray eyes never faltered. Kaname looked deep into them, delving for some sort of clue on this man's thoughts or emotions. He found nothing, just cold, unfathomable depth.

"I have something for you." The exorcist said. He reached into his coat pocket and drew out a fragment glowing with a faint green light. "This is Innocence. It has reacted to your presence."

He just stared into those eyes.

"You can start by giving your name." Kaname said.

His order was ignored.

"Innocence deems you worthy of being a host." The exorcist went on, giving no indication that Kaname just demanded for his name. "As an exorcist general, I extend to you the invitation of the Black Order to join our ranks."

Kaname drew back and put a hand to his mouth, the way he usually does when he was thinking deeply. This wouldn't do at all. This gray-eyed distraction ignored him. And he couldn't read him one bit. Kaname stared at the glowing fragment on the table.

_I have no time for this._

He raised his gaze again, daring to look into those eyes that held nothing and yet everything.

"And why," he said. "Should I join?"

He was going to extend this talk for as long as he could until he had a name.


	2. Dance

**02 - Dance**

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Innocence…strange stone fragments apparently left behind by an ancient civilization a few thousand years before his own birth, each one answering only to the presence of a definite person over the years and granting this said person with supernatural powers to fight and ward off demons, or Akuma, as they are known worldwide.

The Black Order was the Pope's personal army, established on uncertain dates some two thousand years ago. Members of the organization were ranked as follows: Inspector-General Inspector Branch Heads Generals Exorcists Finders Personnel. The French family of the Leverrier managed the Black Order for the Vatican, a sort of dynastic rule, where parents handed down their jobs to sons and daughters. Generals had the job of looking for people who were compatible with Innocence, and Exorcists roamed far and wide trying to find more Innocence fragments. Once an Innocence fragment reacted to one person, it would not move on to find a host regardless until the compatible user died. This pretty much said that a person had no choice but to become an exorcist upon confirmation of compatibility.

The entire time the raven-haired exorcist general explained these things to him, Kaname only sat quietly in his seat, staring, staring shamelessly, and staring like he had not stared at anyone before. Why were the man's eyes so hard to read? Why?

--

He never had the chance to get the man's name. He did, however, get the promise of meeting the gray-eyed distraction again in a week's time, on a Monday, in the same place. He tried extending the conversation as long as he could, but damn, the general dodged his questions so deftly Kaname guessed the man had spent most of his life dodging trivialities. In the end, the man was still a mystery, and Kaname Kuran was more baffled than ever.

Kaname Kuran would have refused altogether except for some things. One, the gray-eyed distraction told him that Akuma were attracted to Innocence and would not stop hounding the person with the fragment, endangering anyone around the said person. He didn't want such a big trouble for everyone in the Cross Academy. He had to go; there was no choice. Second…he wanted to know the man's name.

_His eyes. How is it possible a mortal can have eyes sharper than a vampire's? I hate the way he looked at me. Like I was nothing. Like I didn't matter-_

"I still think the pink is better."

"What the hell are you thinking? PINK? Come on, that's been cliché for like, five thousand years-"

"What about orange, then?"

"What the _hell_."

He glanced toward where Ichijou was arguing with Aido over the colors for the invitation cards for the wedding. Ichijou was unusually shirtless, holding up the pink and the orange samples, while Aido was lounging on the floor, like a big, lazy cat, his face currently set into a disgusted frown. They were trying to be enthusiastic, it was apparent in Ichijou's stiff smile. But they knew him too well.

"Can you imagine how horrid we'd look," Aido pointed out. "If we're wearing _orange_ suits? Tell me that!"

"Won't you rather go for something that's unique?" Ichijou said, sticking his tongue out at Aido before turning to him. "Nah, Kaname, what do _you_ think?"

He only answered with a small, disinterested smile as he rose from the couch.

"I don't think I like anything."

He was out of the room before the two could ask unnecessary questions, not that he'd answer them. He was agitated again. He was disliking being cooped up in the Moon Dorms, much less watching preparations for his oncoming wedding. The members of the Night Class caught on his rapidly fading interest as if someone had spilled a liter of blood right on their doorstep.

He hated it. Hated the charade this was getting to be, for him--

"Kaname-sama…"

"Seiren."

The lady blinked up at him and walked after him, obediently at his elbow. Probably the only ones who weren't so bothered with his current mood were Seiren and Shiki. They were the only ones who've managed to keep their sanity intact, apparently.

He easily raised the window ledge and slipped out of it. Seiren made a move to follow but he wagged a finger at her. She blinked once, twice, and desisted.

"Good girl." He softly muttered as he fled into the darkness.

--

Kaname had long resigned himself to the fact that he would spend countless nights at the Nameless if it enabled him to meet the raven-haired exorcist there until Monday came. How strange it was for a vampire pureblood like him, immortal, a creature who had all the time in the world to suddenly become impatient for the passing of seven trivial days.

The city rose foggy and sad around Kaname. Very few vehicles now passed the roads, their wan headlights momentarily striking him as they went on to wherever they were going. Many shops were already closed, their neon signs turned off and bland gray shutters hiding their glass windows from view. Some scavenging beggars darted in the darker alleys, picking whatever they could eat from the trash bins. A sickly cat crossed the street and disappeared into the next intersection.

He hoped the raven-haired man would be in the same place, probably drinking tea or eating pasta. And then maybe, Kaname could start with a casual question about what he could expect as an Exorcist, and then ask for a name…

Wait.

Speak of the devil. The raven-haired distraction, clad in his uniform, had just crossed the street as he unsheathed his katana. Kaname stopped walking, his lips parting. Behind the man were some twenty people – or were they people…?

They weren't vampires, as far as Kaname could tell. Even from this distance they had this distinct stench, a rotting kind of stink that invaded his nose ruthlessly and made him want to step back. He raised a hand to his mouth and watched with his crimson eyes as the raven-haired man attracted the sizable crowd, as he went into the fifth intersection from where he was with them.

_Akuma?_

There were too many of them. The man might need help; all he had was a flimsy sword. Kaname boosted power to his legs and gave an almighty jump, sending him onto the rooftop of a ten-floor office building. They were easy to follow; all he had to do was to go after the horrid stink--

He jumped from building to building easily. This was a good opportunity. He would help the exorcist, and, if the man followed the same rules on etiquette and good behavior, he would give his name when asked…right?

A sudden flash of blue light made the vampire stop on his tracks.

"…"

Abruptly there were outlandish screams and growls. Kaname jumped some more until he reached this abandoned apartment. He had his right foot over the ledge and peered down.

The exorcist was trapped in an alley, and the people who were chasing him didn't look remotely like people now. They had become bald, white things, disfigured, with markings on their distorted arms and legs. All of them had pot bellies, with a huge black inverted star on it. It seemed they had wing-like protrusions on their backs too. Kaname stared. He had not seen any such disfigured beings in his life – or maybe that was just because he had been cooped up in the Moon Dorm for too long.

Either way, he cursed the sudden limits to his knowledge.

"Come on…" Kaname found himself whispering, his own eyes locked toward that ponytailed figure.

How could he win against so many?

"Mugen, activate!"

Kaname watched as the figure activated his sword, a black-bladed katana, by running his index and middle fingers down the length of the blade. A distinct silvery light spread down the blade. Kaname did not need to confirm that whatever that sword was, if he got stabbed by it, he would be in pain for days.

Then a different light emitted from the sword, spreading up the exorcist's right arm first, then on to his left. Kaname watched in fascination as a second sword materialized in his left hand. Then the man raised his swords in this distinct form, himself leaning forward a bit, one sword up front and cutting edge down, while the other was a bit behind him, cutting edge up. Again Kaname had this distinct feeling that the man was going to dance.

The distorted beasts that were Akuma attacked, in a speed that startled even Kaname. The hand on his knee tightened as his own eyes changed into gold, as his fangs grew. If the guy needed help--

What he saw next made his lips part. The man did _dance_. He twirled around in deadly grace, his glowing swords easily slashing and defending, and obliterated one, two, three -- many of the disfigured opponents he had. Then he shifted his form, momentarily crossing his swords one above the other.

"Hakka Tourou!"

His movements were so fluid, as if his feet didn't touch the ground at all. His hair danced behind him, never getting messy as he jumped, ducked and dodged. One of the beasts sent a blast of purple light toward him, and it happened too fast.

"No." Kaname whispered, flicking a finger.

A strong wind focused and gathered upon that offending Akuma, and compressed, compressed, lifting it up and bodily tearing it to bits. There was another flash of blue light. Kaname shifted his gaze and much to his amazement, the man only had a handful of opponents left.

"…"

The exorcist made no indication that he'd noticed the wind suddenly help him. It irked Kaname for some reason. He expected the man to look up, maybe try to find where the help came from or something like that. He was disappointed sharply and he didn't like the feeling.

The three Akuma that remained from the original twenty were starting to think of retreating. One suddenly made to fly, but Kaname easily caught its head in his hand and crushed the skull. Below, the exorcist abruptly finished the two left.

Kaname Kuran found himself, yet again, subjected to that sharp gaze.

Silence.

He jumped from the roof ledge to stand right in front of the exorcist.

"Good evening." He greeted.

The man only stared blankly back.

"That's very rude," Kaname went on. "I thought I just helped you back there."

Again, the man only stared him down.

"Won't you tell me your name?" Kaname said, daring to close the distance between them and extend a hand to touch a few locks of that blue-black hair. The strands were surprisingly soft and light against his fingers.

And then in the blink of an eye he had the man's sword making a dent into his neck. Kaname was pushed against the wall, his back resting against the bricks, his own hands held up.

"Really now." He said. "We can talk without getting violent." He tried to smile.

"Vampire." Was all the exorcist said.

Kaname smiled ruefully. "Ah."

The man stared at him like he was filth. Filth he longed to wipe off his boots, filth he longed to rid the world of. Kaname didn't like it one bit, but kept his temper in check. This man, whoever he was, mesmerized and angered him at the same time.

What was happening to him?

"Blood sucking son of a bitch." Was all the exorcist said before pulling away and sheathing his sword.

Now that went above the line.

The man found himself as the one pushed to the wall this time, Kaname's hand easily on his neck and held him in place. This close, Kaname could take in this man's scent, ah, he drowned in it, drowned in the scent of cold steel and lotus flowers. He could smell the hot, thick blood running in all of those veins and arteries. Kaname brought his lips close, close, and kissed the man's neck. The texture of his skin made Kaname's lips tingle. His eyes turned to gold.

"I was being civil." Kaname said, sliding a knee between the guy's legs. "And here you are being hostile to me."

The man didn't even move. His heartbeat didn't flutter.

"I can kill you right here…" Kaname said softly, kissing the guy's neck again, this time licking that soft, warm skin.

Still the man's heartbeat didn't change. Kaname, annoyed, pulled back and stared into the man's face. He was stood there as calm as possible, ageless face empty, eyes showing nothing.

"Aren't you afraid?" Kaname asked.

No answer.

"I'm going to kill you." He went on.

Still no answer.

Kaname was angry now. Abruptly the exorcist shoved him off, with surprising burst of strength that caught him off guard. Kaname would have fallen to the ground if he had not righted his feet at the last moment.

"If you're going to kill someone," the exorcist told him, eyeing him with disdain. "Kill them. Don't waste your fucking time trying to look cool and talking about it."

And then he was gone. Kaname was left in that alley, sitting on the ground, his head tipped back and leaning into the brick wall, his eyes closed.


	3. Transition

**03 - Transition**

The image played within Kaname's mind like a silent movie. He remembered how Zero Kiryuu had asked Yuki for help regarding his Calculus homework, and how Yuki had dropped the invitation card samples in her hands as she rose immediately and came to her half-blood friend's aid. He watched them from afar, from the windows of his chambers in the Moon Dorm, as they struggled with the blasted homework under the moonlight and Yuki's flashlight.

There was a time when simply watching Yuki would have brought him happiness. Now simply the sight of her made him feel empty and shallow. He had only recently noticed that his sister did not truly love him, no, not as much as she loved Zero Kiryuu. He could see it in her eyes every time he tried to kiss her. He could sense it on her skin every time he tried to touch her.

She thought she loved him for what he was, for who he was, when in truth she was in love with the idea that he was hers. Yuki was in love – enthralled – with the idea of being the Kuran princess. But she didn't love him for being Kaname. Lately, he toyed with some thoughts. Would she have loved him otherwise if he were just a mortal? Would she have glanced at him twice, perhaps, when he was not a member of the Night Class?

Maybe. Maybe not.

He had gotten tired of this. He had gotten tired of deceiving himself with something he could not have. And this pretty much decided the next things he did.

--

Kaname packed very few things. He left behind all of his Night Class uniforms and decided to stick with his favorite dark-hued polo shirts and slacks. He also withdrew a huge chunk of money from the personal account of the Kuran family, of which only he and Yuki owned now. He had his clothes, his money and a year's worth of blood pills in a plain-looking tug-along luggage.

He was sitting outside the Nameless beside his baggage, on the gutter, waiting for the general to come. He did not tell anyone about this, though very probably Ichijou and the others already had an idea that he would be leaving. Headmaster Cross would surely have something to say, but not that words can only take him so far against Kaname Kuran. The council was another thing, but Kaname did not like to think of the council.

"Kuran."

The voice made Kaname look up. The raven-haired general was already there, clad in his uniform. Kaname rose and gave the smallest bow. He reached for his baggage.

"I trust all your affairs are in order." The man said.

"I really need a name if I'm to address you properly…sir." Kaname said, the honorific somewhat awkward on his lips.

"Kanda."

_Finally, we are getting somewhere_.

"All my affairs are in order, General Kanda."

"Good."

"General…" Kaname extended a hand and held Kanda's wrist. "Wait."

Abruptly Kanda whipped around and snatched his wrist away with such force. Kaname was once more subjected to a glare that was probably more deadly than the sun's rays. For some reason, he dropped eye contact.

"General, you know my condition." He went on. "I…cannot tolerate sunlight."

"Not my problem." Kanda said. "If you burn during your first mission, then you're dead. What does your death matter to me?"

The man was already far away before Kaname could catch up.

_You're right, General Kanda. I don't matter to you at all._

--

They were going to France aboard a Boeing 787, one of the many private planes that the Black Order owned and apparently under General Kanda's service. They were the only passengers, aside from the general's team of 5 Finders, 2 scientists and the flight crew of the plane. Kaname was left alone after the flight attendants supplied him with food. The scientists and the Finders did not join him in this part of the plane, and the general apparently sat somewhere else.

This was a fourteen-hour flight. Kaname counted the hours and realized with a jolt of horror that they would reach Paris at around 1 in the afternoon. With the sun still high up in the sky. This horrific thought in mind, Kaname moved around his part of the plane, pulling down all window shades in the area. He sat back down and clasped his fine hands on his knees. His heels tapped soundlessly on the upholstered floor.

_He can't possibly be serious._

Kaname abruptly rose, hands clenched into fists at his sides as he walked to where Kanda was. The general was sitting alone in the first-class area of the plane, taking a light nap, his head tilted and supported by his right hand. He had his legs crossed over one another.

"…"

From this angle, the man looked almost normal. Kaname could see that he was tired, but not from outside forces. Tired from within, somehow like he was…

Abruptly Kanda opened his eyes.

"What do you want?" He demanded, his tone rude and no-nonsense as always.

_I want to kill you and dash your brains on a rock._

"General Kanda, I believe we have an unsettled matter on our hands." Kaname said, as formally as he could. He stared, meeting that cold gray gaze with his own crimson one. "I am a vampire. I will die the moment the sun's rays touches me. Would you leave a newly recruited Exorcist to that fate? You must be so heartless."

Kanda only stared at him. Ah, how Kaname wanted to attack him right then and there, let his fangs pierce that neck, let that blood fill his mouth—

"Please bore someone else with your drivel." Kanda said.

Kaname bit the inside of his cheek furiously and let a small smile appear on his lips. "I think I will stay here, General." He took the seat beside Kanda's.

The general turned his attention to the LCD TV in front of them. He took the remote and randomly flipped through the movie list. Kaname kept his eyes on the screen as well, the lights dancing in front of his eyes, reminding him how this man beside him danced with his glowing swords, slashing and defending, fighting beautifully--

It surprised Kaname that they could actually sit beside each other. The general had now found his movie, an old one – the Three Stooges, it would seem. Kaname watched Kanda's face as the general watched. He sat there unmoving, head still supported by his hand, and the silent antics of the actors in the flick did nothing, not even to make the sides of his lips quirk up.

His eyes were as empty as ever.

_I can stay like this for all eternity just watching you, stranger. Just watching and waiting for your eyes to show the least emotion in them, I will gladly wait for centuries to pass me by._

A flight attendant suddenly entered the cabin and Kaname hastily moved away from his place. He was given two croissant sandwiches, a tall glass of apple cider and some ice cream. The general only took the drink and didn't want to eat. Kaname also noticed that Kanda eyed the ice cream as if it were a cobra spitting at him.

Did he hate ice cream?

--

When the vampiric languor crept up to claim Kaname's consciousness, it came swiftly and stayed long. He slept off most of the flight, sleep letting him forget he was leaving behind Cross Academy for an indefinite amount of time, without telling anyone where he was going and why. His phone might have beeped and vibrated in his pocket, but Kaname was too into sleep to notice anything.

It was a silent and peaceful sleep, even for him, suspended in the dark depths of unconsciousness, floating aimlessly, unbothered by nightmares and dreams.

"Sir?"

A poke on his cheek. Kaname grunted and cracked open his eyes in confusion as he saw blurred pinpricks of faces before him. It took him several moments for his gaze to clear up. The languor was still heavy on his body, like a blanket.

"Yes…?" he said faintly.

Finders. Kaname recognized their white uniforms and hoods.

"We're already in Paris, sir." One Finder said. "General Kanda asked us to help you get down from the plane. You have allergies to strong sunlight?"

Ah.

AH.

He wasn't so heartless after all.

"Yes, yes. I'm begging your pardon." Kaname said with a soft smile as he straightened up, trying to shake the vampiric sleepiness from his system. Add that to his jetlag. He wanted nothing else but to find a nice dark spot to curl up in, and continue sleeping.

"We have a blanket for you, monsieur."

Another Finder threw a thick blanket over him. It was big enough to cover his shoes. Then they helped him find his way, and then they were going down the steps…

Kaname stiffened when he felt the sun's deadly rays just beyond the blanket. The Finders still guided him, he let them steer him to wherever it was. He wanted to get out of the sun. Suddenly the blanket didn't seem so thick. It was as if he could feel the sun trying to reach him, gnawing its way through the cloth to burn him--

He was scaring himself. It was stupid and it was childish. He should stop.

Then Kaname heard the quiet humming of an automobile engine. There was the sound of an opening door and he quickly ducked inside, still in the blanket. It was cool inside. Comfortably cool…

"You can take that ridiculous blanket off your head now."

Which was what he did. Kaname found himself inside a well-equipped and darkly-tinted limousine. Kanda was sitting across from where he sat, already supplied with a half-emptied glass of absinthe. They drove out of the airport. Kaname noticed they had three more escort vehicles, all black SUVs with the Black Order cross on their hoods.

Then he turned to Kanda. "Where are we going? The HQ is surely in Paris?"

Kanda shook his head slowly. "Just shut the fuck up and wait."

Fine. Kaname Kuran could wait. He helped himself to the champagne.


	4. First Adjustments

Ichijou cursed for the 100th time that evening as he tried dialing Kaname's number and failing to contact the other vampire yet again for the nth time now since he decided it would be pretty amusing to actually vanish into thin air. The Moon Dorm's vice president banged a fist on his desk, making the darkly-polished wood crack. He chewed the inside of his cheek furiously, furiously, until he could taste his own blood.

_Damnit, Kaname, come on, pick up—_

He redialed the number.

**The subscriber cannot be reached. Please try again later.**

"Damnit. Damnit, Kaname--"Ichijou ran a hand through his golden blonde hair and put his phone down, and then buried his face in his hands. He knew there was something wrong when Kaname's interest started to fade regarding his wedding with Yuki. Ichijou, like the rest of the Night Class loyal to Kaname, had never dared to ask what the problem was. And now they were regretting it.

He could hear Ruka and Aido arguing sharply in the adjacent room. Ruka's voice was so shrill Ichijou thought the windows would shatter any moment now. Aido was also screaming back, a trace of a snarl already in his voice. Tempers were running short. Time was running out. Kaname was still not found.

Footsteps. Ichijou looked up to find Seiren and Shiki coming to a stop before his desk. Both of them looked grave and Ichijou could only groan. More bad news--

"We've just confirmed it with the airport." Seiren said. "Kaname-sama left Japan approximately 20 hours ago. He also withdrew some 800 million dollars worth from the Kuran bank account. Chairman Cross has confirmed that a substantial chunk of the Academy's stock of blood tablets have disappeared."

Shit. Shit indeed. This was not good.

"Where's Yuki?" Ichijou said with great effort. There was no need to confirm again what Seiren and Shiki already confirmed for the class. Kaname was gone. "Is she all right…?"

"In her room." Shiki answered shortly. "Crying her eyes out and being useless--"

"Shiki." Seiren snapped sharply, cutting the other's sentence.

Ichijou gave a start when the phone beside his mobile started to ring. He bit his lower lip.

"Shit. Shit. Damn."

He picked it up and hoped against hope it wasn't the Council.

--

The place was a huge tower – fortress – located in the region of Auvergne, some three more hours' drive from the city of Clermont-Ferrand. They came upon some low rolling hills that seemed to extend as far as the eye can see, and then slowly sloped up to form mountains. Kaname had paused when General Kanda told him they'd have to go on foot from then on.

They hiked. The whole team of Finders, scientists, security and Kaname himself. General Kanda led the way, moving easily, up, up, tirelessly it seemed, until he was just a dark speck far ahead the mountain path that they could barely see.

_What kind of place is this for an HQ?_

He popped in two blood tablets as they hiked up, up and finally came upon a hanging bridge that connected the tower's foundation to the area they were standing on. The chasm between the tower and the cliff face was vast, maybe vast enough to fit two Nile Rivers side by side. Down below Kaname could see nothing except gray clouds and darkness.

"Monsieur, bienvenue."

This near the tower of the Black Order looked almost imposing. Kaname could only start to guess at the structure's girth, height and age. The thousand windows of the huge black tower all glimmered faint golden under the evening sky.

_The Black Order, huh._

--

She'd told him her name was Hevlaska, and that she was not going to hurt him. In all of Kaname's long existence, this was probably one of the most striking and memorable in all of his years. He wondered what on earth she was (was it even proper to call her she?), and how could she possibly exist here, in the deepest depths of the headquarters and the whole mountain range itself, in darkness.

There was a maternal quality in her voice, in her very presence, and somehow it made Kaname Kuran feel young again, no matter how outrageous the idea seemed at one point. When she extended the white fog-like things that were here hands he recoiled for a moment, but she assured him, in the warmest tones possible, that hurting him was nowhere in her list of priorities.

General Kanda watched from the floating lift as Hevlaska, with another set of fog-like arms and hands, raised the Innocence fragment to sync with him. He seemed genuinely bored with the process.

Kanda was certainly unimpressed when the Innocence fragment reacted to its chosen host's presence, as it glowed and a warm breeze seemed to sweep the room. He didn't even blink when the fragment finally changed form, first to a scythe, then shrinking, shrinking, to a crescent-shaped and plain-looking pendant fit for a choker.

It was over as quickly as it had begun. Kaname felt as normal as possible, except for the vivid sensation that his thirst had somehow lessened – was that his imagination, or the work of his newly-acquired Innocence?

Hevlaska's voice resonated from everywhere and nowhere when she spoke again.

_The Innocence of the Damned, at 70 percent sync rate, has successfully chosen its master. It is the twin half of the Innocence of Divinity, which still rests inside me. Exorcist, you will have powers over shadows and darkness. Use it well, and may God guide you in your missions._

Kaname looked at the pendant in his hand. How was he going to make this into a scythe again?

Next General Kanda led him to the Recruitment Department, and there Kaname was supplied with all the preliminary forms and book regarding the Black Order. His phone was taken away and replaced with a new one that looked so technologically advanced Kaname knew he would take days to figure out how it worked inside out. He eyed his old phone briefly before the clerk took it away, probably to be thrown off or destroyed.

"Fill up your forms and submit it to the girl again. Hurry up." General Kanda sounded as irritable as ever.

_Hurry up? I have just been given forty pages worth of forms…_

But then again, Kaname somehow already understood complaints would not get him very far here. He sat down by the nearest desk he could find and reached for a ball pen, then started on his forms. His hand paused on the very first entry to be filled.

Name.

He couldn't use his real name here. The Vatican would have his head, probably…

Kaname's hand moved of its own accord, choosing a name for himself even before his head decided on it.

_Kraez Xanders._

--

The rooms looked substandard when compared with his chambers in the Moon Dorm of Cross Academy. The walls were painted standard white, and only basic furniture could be found: bed, desk, chair, closet, nightstand, and lamp. There was a computer with internet access.

Kaname quietly unpacked what things he had in the closet and took a moment to get used to the cramped space of his new room. Lucky he still had his own toilet, though there was no tub.

_At least it's all tidy._

He sat down in front of the computer and decided to check his email. Kaname easily navigated over to Cross Academy's page and logged into the student mail service.

**You have 5000 new mail.**

Eighty percent of the email was from Ichijou, his subject headings rapidly changing from plain question marks to outright caps lock words demanding where he was. Kaname found those really amusing but never bothered to open a single one. Ruka, Aido and Kain also stuffed his inbox with demands for any news. Those were also ignored. Probably the most amusing of all was Seiren's only mail for him.

Please forgive their rudeness. They're only worried.

There was also one from Yuki: Where are you?

Kaname didn't open the mail though, and proceeded to click on the 'Delete All' button. He turned his head and cast a glance toward the plain clock hanging on the blank wall. Ten in the evening. Oddly, Kaname already felt sleepy, and it wasn't the vampiric languor.

He shut down the computer and went to bed.

--

Banging. The annoying, shrill banging of metal ladles against metal pots and pans woke up Kaname rudely at six in the morning the next day.

_What the--?_

His blankets were ruthlessly pulled away, and Kaname found himself sitting up, shielding his face from the sudden brightness of the sun outside.

"WELCOME TO THE BLACK ORDER!"

_Wait, what? Who--?_

Kaname's crimson eyes caught sight of a young white-haired boy in a General's uniform. Beside him was one of the men he saw yesterday in the Science Department, an American wearing a laboratory gown over a cream yellow polo shirt and gray slacks. The young, white-haired general beamed at him with gray eyes. Kaname noted that the kid had a weird marking over one eye.

"Hi! I'm Allen Walker! You're Kraez Xanders, right? Welcome to the Black Order!"

And the white-haired general who called himself Allen banged his pots and pans again, along with the man from the science department.

_What the hell are they doing?_

"And! As the start of the awesome welcome party for you, let Reever Wenham and myself sing the Black Order anthem!" Allen Walker declared, then cleared his throat. He and the man called Reever Wenham started to sing in French.

Kaname only watched, lips parted.

_What. The. Hell. Are. They. Doing?_


	5. Life In The Tower pt 1

**05 - Life In The Tower pt 1.**

* * *

He introduced himself as Komui Li, and he told Kaname that they were going to be together for the six happy months that would comprise his preliminary training and introduction to the ways of the Exorcist. He was Chinese, born in Shanghai, twenty-two years old, single and possibly (that made Kaname twitch for a bit) looking. Komui was also the person who was going to assign his missions and teams when he was done with preliminary training and was ready to receive orders from his general.

Komui struck Kaname as overly friendly. He and Chairman Cross shared many similar aspects: they were both ridiculously insane and strong idealists. He loved his coffee (Kaname just had to stare at the gigantic thermos in the office and the sacks of coffee beans just visible behind the desk) and seemed to have a fine hand with robotics (since he had many little critters on his desk and moving around the place).

As the Supervisor explained about the training routine (which started at six in the morning sharp always), Kaname could not help but notice the black-framed picture on the shelf behind the man. He pointed a finger, cutting Komui in his talking.

"Who is that girl?" the vampire asked politely.

Komui blinked at him in confusion and turned his head around. The black-framed picture was that of a Chinese girl with short, cropped black hair. She had pretty eyes and an equally pretty smile. Kaname noted that Komui's eyes softened for a moment.

"Linali, my sister." He explained. "We lost her two months ago in a sortie against Rhode Kamelot."

Ah. Kaname made it a point to never ask about her again.

--

Kaname Kuran's days started always at 5 in the morning. It was in the Black Order that he learned about the wonders of an alarm clock. The clocks issued by the Order were efficient and very, very loud. When Kaname first used his, it rang so loudly and shrilly that the pureblood could feel his ear drums pulsating for the next two hours.

He went to the cafeteria to eat his light meals and took in his regular two blood tablets with coffee or tea. The head cook, an Indian named Jerry, always asked him to do the dishes. He would never forget the first time he was asked to wash more than 200 greasy plates. He had not washed dishes for a long time and had to use all of his self control not to gape at the tottering pile that waited for him in Jerry's kitchen.

"Move, cutie, or else they're going to pile up and eat you." Was all Jerry told him before he returned to his cooking.

Needless to say, Kaname broke 80 out of 200 plates. It unnerved him to no end when he found out that those 200 plates were used by General Allen Walker only. And that there were still all the plates that all the other Exorcists, Finders and personnel used…

There was an unspoken seating arrangement in the cafeteria. Those who were in similar departments stuck together. Science geeks always discussed their inventions and findings on Innocence, plus their tables always had this distinct kind of stink that made Kaname's eyes water. Finders occupied some three long tables to themselves, and they were a very merry lot, a sea of white uniforms and hoods. Exorcists mingled freely with whoever they chose; they stood out because of their black and silver uniforms, plus their weapons.

Generals had their own table. Generals Allen Walker, Klaud Nine, Rosalinda and Supervisor Komui occupied the long table nearest Jerry's kitchen. The Generals were also a cheerful lot, especially when Komui and General Allen got too happy. Kaname could hear their laughter almost competing with that of the Finders'. Sometimes they allowed Exorcists, Finders and scientists to join them. They definitely asked him to join.

Kaname had only Caesar salad that morning. It was General Walker who waved him over and introduced him to the other generals. They were discussing a sortie in Norway that had apparently gone bad when Kaname noticed something amiss.

"Where is General Kanda?" he asked, trying to sound disinterested. He had not seen Kanda since his first day here.

"Ah, Yuu?" Allen said, turning to him with his usual perky grin. "Yuu doesn't eat here. If he does come down, that's because he doesn't have the time to cook his own breakfast."

"….So he eats in his office?" Kaname pressed.

"Most of the time, yes." General Walker nodded as he tackled his fifteenth plate of dessert. "Oh, and don't call him Yuu. It's a quick way to die." He added with a wink.

"Here he is," came General Nine's soft voice. "He didn't manage to cook."

Kaname looked up from his salad just as Kanda's familiarly striking figure came into view. He strode purposefully toward Jerry's counter and stated clearly that he wanted his usual serving of miso soup and tempura. He did not look at anyone; for all he cared he was the only person in the cafeteria. He did not even greet anyone else, not even his fellow generals. Kaname watched him openly, unblinkingly.

When Kanda got his tray of food, Kaname inched to his right, thinking the man would join them. But he was disappointed in this – apparently Kanda had a table all to himself, and that no one, not even other Generals, was allowed to sit with him. He looked so lonely sitting by that long table by himself.

"Does he always sit apart?" he asked, turning to General Walker.

"Eh?" Allen blinked at him. "Of course he always sits apart. He's the biggest anti-social humbug the Order has to offer." The white-haired boy laughed and waved his abnormal hand – apparently he was a parasitic type. "Kanda works best alone. Don't bother him, he doesn't bother you. Well, bother is an understatement. He hardly considers that anyone exists unless he has to. That's Kanda."

…

Kaname's hand closed around the edges of his tray. He rose, but General Walker's hand found his arm. He turned and fixed his crimson gaze on the boy.

"What are you doing?" General Walker said. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm joining him." Kaname said, as if it was the most normal thing to do.

"You're asking to die!" General Walker exclaimed. "Kanda will stab even for the most trivial things. Leave him alone, and we'll avoid bloodbath."

They stared at each other for some minutes until Kaname decided to back down for now. He did, however, look toward Kanda's table again and to his surprise, his crimson eyes met those empty, winter-gray orbs.

…

Kanda flipped him the finger before going back to his own meal. Kaname only blinked.

--

Preliminary training meant learning all basic skills an Exorcist should know before he or she was sent out to field to finally encounter Akuma. Surprisingly, the chores superiors asked newly-recruited exorcists to do were all part of the training. Even the regular dishwashing mornings with Jerry were considered training.

Kaname was soon introduced to a myriad of things that he had never done before in his entire existence. He had to know how to sew his uniform, do his own laundry and, most importantly, cook his own food.

_Why am I doing all this? What is the point of enduring all these…things?_

Learning how to sew took Kaname an entire month. His first trial was how to thread the needle. Next was making sure the stitches he made didn't come away easily. He had pricked himself countless times as he tried to learn and by the time he could thread a needle properly, he had already popped eight blood tablets in one go.

_Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT._

Making stitches that didn't come away easily took Kaname another month. Along the way he also figured out that he could actually use different needle sizes and different kinds of thread to suit his purposes. The Exorcist uniform was specially-built after all. By the time he could sew properly, he had already consumed one bottle of blood tablets in one sitting.

_What is this…contraption?_

The first meeting with the washing machine was probably one that Kaname was sure he wouldn't forget. He stood in the laundry room for an entire hour, having no idea what to do. He knew he must have looked utterly stupid, standing there and staring at the machine.

"What the fuck are you doing, waiting for Christmas?"

He turned around and saw General Kanda come in with his own basket of clothes. The man had his long hair loose. This close Kaname could see that the black strands glinted an odd blue under the light. Kaname silently watched Kanda's every movement, noting how his hair seemed to follow each gesture--

"The washing machine won't start nor eat you, you moron."

Kaname just stood in silence for a moment. "I…do not know what to do."

Kanda looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. "What the fuck?"

"….I have never done laundry before." Kaname admitted, and hated himself for doing so. Admitting such a trivial weakness before Yuu Kanda…was something he could not tolerate.

The raven-haired general gave him a nasty sneer that would have made Ruka go mad with rage. "Well now, won't you have to learn for yourself?"

And to make sure he would not have an easy time figuring things out, Kanda moved away from him, to the other side of the laundry room, and there minded his own business.

_I hate you._

Fine. Kaname Kuran could do this. He turned his gaze away with effort from the general and crouched down to poke at his clothes as he tried to guess how to make the washing machine work. He tried to remember how the maids back in the Moon Dorm washed the clothes. He suddenly wished he paid them more attention.

…

When it came to learning how to cook, Kaname went to Jerry to ask for help, and the Indian was all too happy to comply. Though he really found it strange when Kaname started asking the particulars of how the stove or the microwave worked, and seemed to enjoy pulling cold cuts from the freezers.

Kaname managed to learn cooking basics in a week.

"Lovely determination, cutie." Jerry said when Kaname finally served him unburned and perfectly edible rice. "But remember, you still have your dishwashing to do"

Ah. Kaname wished he could at least forget that.


	6. Daylight

**06 - Daylight**

* * *

To be finally able to walk out in daylight, even when the sun was high up in the sky, brought tears out of Kaname Kuran's eyes. As a pureblood vampire, the sun and the world it represented had always been out of his reach, an illusion found in photos, books and videos. He had always envied half-bloods who could walk into the daylight, even though their ability was limited. He had always wanted to watch sunrise, but always, always, those gentle golden rays hurt his eyes.

Now, to be able to stand like this gave Kaname Kuran a different kind of freedom. He felt like a lost child. He could only stand at the rooftop of the Black Order headquarters, let the high-altitude winds muss his hair. The sun was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, surrounded by pristine clouds as it rose up to greet the world from the eastern horizon. For the first time, he could look at the sun. For the first time, his eyes did not hurt and made him turn away. For the first time, he didn't burn…

The tears came freely and Kaname let them flow. How he wished he could share this overwhelming feeling to Ichijou and the others. How he wished….how he wished he…

He raised a hand to the pendant on his choker.

_Innocence, thank you. Thank you…_

--

"Combat against Akuma is to be expected at all times." Komui Li explained. "Being an Exorcist is one of the world's most dangerous jobs, alongside being a king crab fisher and a vampire hunter." He laughed at his own joke. "Now, before you can start training with the advanced simulation made by our lovely Science Department, you have to learn how to fight on land, on air and in water first."

Kaname was in a chopper alongside three other new recruits like himself. There was a large, bearded man who came from Iceland. The other was just a boy, a twitchy thirteen-year-old, from Spain. The last was a girl with her red hair in pigtails, an Irish, who had been staring at him ever since they left HQ.

_Children._

Yes, everyone in HQ except for Hevlaska was just a child, really, in Kaname's eyes. Children, true in every sense of the word, but their adaptability and strength all astounded him. It took a different kind of strength to leave everything behind once Innocence called you to your fate; it took a different kind of strength not to weep for a fallen comrade and friend. Children they might be, but at some aspects they were stronger than Kaname himself or any other vampire. Far stronger…

Empty gray eyes flashed in Kaname's thoughts. He shook his head to clear himself of that piercing gaze.

"Yes, Xanders, you didn't understand what I just said?" Komui said smiling, turning to him.

Kaname was startled. "Ah…no, sorry. Wait, what I mean is, I understand…" He cast his gaze somewhere else, and abruptly found himself staring at the Irish girl, who smiled hopefully at him. He cringed a bit and turned his head away.

"Right then. If we have no more questions. Peter, open the door. Kids, activate your Innocence." Komui chirped happily.

Wait. Open the door? Open the door of the chopper--

Wind rushed into the cramped space. Kaname was dumbstruck. Komui had taken them way out to sea…

"Wait. Where are we…?" he tried to ask, but the three other recruits already had their respective weapons out (a spear, a huge axe and a whip). Kaname swallowed the question and touched his pendant.

_Innocence, activate._

The scythe formed easily between his hands. It had become very cramped in the chopper now.

"Right then Eloise? Ladies first!" Komui smiled before abruptly shoving the pigtailed girl out of the chopper, sending her screaming as she fell to the sea. "Ohohoho!"

_Wait. WAIT. WHAT?_

"Boys next!" Komui didn't look remotely nice now; it was as if he was possessed by a devil. "Agmund, you next!" He shoved the huge bearded man out and without even pausing, grabbed the Spanish boy and hurled him out after. Kaname heard the boy squeak.

_I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM--_

"Ohohoho! Come on, Xanders, don't look so sour! Fighting while at sea is completely normal!"

Komui's hand closed in on his collar. Kaname grabbed the guy's hand and tried to pry the fingers off, but Komui moved with lightning-fast speed. In seconds, Kaname was falling, falling, his hair whipping all around him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Salt water attacked Kaname ruthlessly from all sides, invading his nose, eyes, mouth and ears. His uniform and his scythe were dragging him down, down; he couldn't open his eyes--

_HELP! HELP! HELP ME—_

Abruptly he broke surface, gasping for air like a dying man. The chopper was hovering above them, and he could barely make out Komui dangling upside down from it, clutching a megaphone in front of his face. He was saying something but Kaname couldn't understand--

Then he was underwater again, the ocean attacking him more viciously than ever, dragging him down. Kaname felt his fingers slip from his scythe. He flailed and struggled, but he only sank further, further…

And then there was darkness.

…

_Xanders? Xanders are you okay? You should have told me you didn't know how to swim!_

Crimson eyes snapped open as Kaname coughed up salt water. He was aware that he was back inside the chopper and had Komui and four dripping Finders peering down on him. He tried to speak, but his voice died in his throat. His hand automatically reached up and found his pendant in its usual place. Good. He didn't lose his scythe.

"You can't swim!" Komui said, like a schoolteacher catching a kid cheating. "And I asked three times if you all could! You were flailing like a mosquito larva!"

"I'm…I'm sorry…" Kaname managed, hoarsely. He was trembling.

Komui helped him sit up, and a Finder immediately had a thick towel around him. A second Finder thrust a mug of steaming hot chocolate in his clammy hands. Komui straightened up, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"Dear me. You're delayed lots just by being unable to swim! Kanda won't be pleased!"

_Kanda…_

"Why?" Kaname asked. "I can learn--" But even then, the thought of being pitched into the sea again made him want to cringe away.

"Kanda doesn't like his teams delayed. And you, being unable to swim, will take a longer time to be placed in a proper 3-man cell." Komui said, shrugging. "Can't blame him. His teams are the best of the lot lately. Oh dear, if he finds out…he'd definitely pester me to have you transferred to Allen or Lavi…hmm…"

Kaname felt his cheeks grow hot with anger. "I can learn how to swim!" He snarled. "There will be no need for a transfer! I'll show him--"

Komui and the Finders were staring at him as if only seeing him for the first time.

"Relax, Xanders." Komui said with a small smile as he gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Relax."

--

For the next few months, preliminary combat training kept Kaname's days occupied. The pureblood moved around in what would seem a daze, waking up at five and automatically going to bed at ten in the evening, without little thought to anything else except for the regular in-take of blood tablets.

Generals Walker and Kanda have left HQ three months ago and had not yet returned. Kaname moved restlessly in HQ, worrying, wondering what was taking the two generals to come back. It was not in his place to ask though; he wasn't even a fully-pledged Exorcist yet. Everyday he cast a furtive glance toward the Generals' table, hoping to guess what news there was by their reactions, but Generals Nine, Rosalinda and Supervisor Komui looked always cheerful.

He was worried. He wanted to know where Kanda was, what he was doing, what--

This was getting ridiculous…and wrong.

Kaname went to the rooftops when he felt like his thoughts were becoming messier. And they WERE becoming messier every day that he spent there, clueless, wondering where the hell Kanda--

_This is wrong. _

He didn't even flinch when an explosion shook the part of the Tower and faraway screams echoed. It was only Komurin, after all. The first time Kaname encountered the crazy robot; he had been caught and bodily dragged halfway around HQ, his nails making gouges on the floor. The gouges he made were still around; Komui and the others agreed it was so amusing and they just had to preserve them. Kaname found them really, really strange.

Kaname just sat there, watching the clouds. He loved the quiet of the rooftop…

His thoughts kept straying to the gray-eyed distraction. Kaname shook his head viciously and took his phone out.

…

**Seiren. How are things.**

Sent. He stared at the gadget for a few minutes.

**Kaname-sama. Ichijou has a handle on things. Where are you?**

That made him smile, however faintly. Ichijou had always been dependable.

**Safe. **

Seiren didn't reply back. She already understood what he wanted of her.

--

He reappeared like a ghost, like Aia, an Exorcist whose Innocence enabled him to shift from corporeal to spiritual form and thus phase through walls and freak people out. Like a ghost, indeed, and Kaname had stopped eating when he saw the familiar figure stride into the cafeteria again, unchanged, except for the left arm that was caught in a sling.

Kanda's eyes seemed icier as he ordered his food and went to his table. Kaname watched him quietly, watched him fumble around with his chopsticks.

…

"Bad, bad sortie…" General Walker sat down beside him. It had already become customary for Kaname to eat with the generals. "Hello!" Allen greeted him. "Been broken in proper?"

"I…suppose." Kaname answered slowly. He was still watching Kanda, who was eating as normal as possible by his own table. "General Walker…what happened?"

"Broke a few bones, fought off a few Noah." Allen said as he stuffed his face with dango and Jerry's excellent curry.

"Noah?" General Nine quickly took up the conversation. "Which…?"

The generals and Supervisor Komui were soon immersed in their own talk. Kaname had long stopped trying to eat his sandwich and was just sitting there, watching Kanda.

…

"Excuse me."

Kaname rose with his tray and purposefully crossed the dining hall. He was aware of the sudden dead quiet that killed all laughter and small talk when people realized where he was going.

_This is wrong, this is wrong._

"General Kanda." He pulled up the chair across the man's and sat down.

They stared at each other. Kaname's gaze trailed down to the arm in the sling.

…

Kanda ignored him and continued to finish his soba. Kaname no longer tried to eat, just contented himself watching.

The cafeteria was still dead silent. You could drop a pin on the floor and everyone would hear.

"You're really good at ignoring people, aren't you, General?" Kaname pushed, smiling faintly.

Silence. Always, silence. Kaname was starting to hate it.

"That arm…what broke it?"

Still no answer. Kaname gritted his teeth. Why was he even bothering? Why was he going through all these lengths just to get a few words out of this baffling mortal in front of him? Why?

_Why?_

"General…"

"Shut the fuck up." Kanda rose, throwing his chopsticks down with a sharp clack. "That will be the last time you will intrude on my table, Xanders, or you will pay for it with your life next!"

He whirled around, his hair dancing, and stomped out of the cafeteria. Kaname let out the breath that he had been holding, but the cold knot in his chest refused to go away.

"Holy crap." General Walker's voice was the first to crack the quiet. "You are the craziest, stupidest and possibly the bravest person I have ever met!"

And then everyone was laughing and cheering and clapping. Kaname was seeing and hearing nothing, not even when General Walker walked over and ruffled his hair and gave him a thump on the back.

…

_This is wrong. I'm…I can't possibly be…no. _

He remembered Shizuka Hio then. He remembered her vividly.

_No…_


	7. Exorcist

**07 - Exorcist**

* * *

Six months, one week and two days had flitted by so fast in a speed that Kaname thought impossible. He stood in front of the full-size mirror in his room, a pretty black-framed thing given to him by the Supplies Department when he'd requested for one some five months ago. Actually, Kaname's room was stuffed with a myriad of things now. There was a portable iPod dock, a small TV and his own tiny (he had grown fond of space-saving things) refrigerator.

The Exorcist uniform was mainly in black and silver hues. The standard issue pants were a bit fitted, white and made from a special kind of cloth that could withstand a level 0 Akuma's blood bullet and up to 800 degrees Celsius worth of heat. The boots were of specially-made black leather that reached Kaname's knees. His overcoat was of the shorter version (there was another trench-like one; the kind that General Kanda wore and reached up to his ankles), just reaching his waist. There were some sort of shoulder pads, and the Black Order's emblem at his left chest. He was actually free to wear any shirt he fancied underneath, and Kaname decided he would stick to his favorite dark-hued ones. They also gave him fingerless gloves. They were of very light material and comfortable; it didn't feel like he was wearing anything at all.

Kaname surveyed himself in front of his mirror and gave a small smile. He definitely did NOT look like a vampire. The uniform he was wearing now was made for durability and mobility, not for elegance and flamboyance, like the stylish uniform of the Cross Academy. He wondered vaguely what Ichijou and the others would say if they saw what he looked like right now.

He turned away from the mirror and reached for his phone on the desk beside the computer. He pocketed it and went on his way.

Today…today he was finally going to be a fully-pledged Exorcist.

--

He was told to proceed to airstrip number 42. When Kaname got there, a chopper was already waiting, ready for take-off. By the chopper's doors stood two children, also clad in the same black-and-silver uniform with the cross and the Black Order emblem. General Kanda, surprisingly, was there. His hair danced with the wind that the chopper stirred up, and Kaname had to use up nearly all of his self control to not stare and make himself look like a fool.

"Xanders, a damn snail walks faster than you!" General Kanda shouted at him. "Get the fuck over here!"

Kaname wished he would stop it with the cursing. He obeyed silently, quickening his steps so that he came to stand with the two kids. The girl was white-haired, skinny for her age and was surprisingly wearing the standard uniform usually given to men. She beamed at him with pretty blue eyes and seemed to bounce eagerly on her heels. Kaname gave her a wordless nod of acknowledgement before turning to peer at the boy. The boy was particularly tiny. His black hair was messy, with a cowlick, and generally seemed to follow its own hairstyle. His complexion was of a healthy, earthy brown, and his eyes reminded Kaname irresistibly of Ichijou when the guy became too…uh…happy.

"Meet your teammates." General Kanda said unceremoniously. "Ross Oswald Ezart," the tiny boy smiled at him. "And Rain Antoinette." The girl winked at him. "Into the chopper with you three. MOVE IT. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE ALL DAY!"

The girl giggled and jumped into the chopper. She helped the little boy wiggle in after her. Kaname climbed in after them, and General Kanda got in last and shut the chopper door behind him. Kaname noticed that there were seven bento boxes inside the chopper with them, and that the tiny boy had a naginata that was just too big for him.

"Kanda-san needs to lighten up!" The girl laughed, still smiling sweetly at their General. "We don't want wrinkles on your pretty face, now do we?" And she laughed some more.

"Mastew," the boy said. Kaname blinked at him. "Whewe awe we going?" He clutched his naginata close. "Awe we going to do the bento twaining again, poyoo?"

"Are you blind?" Kanda snapped. He jerked his head toward Kaname as if Kaname was just a random object they took along for the trip. "Your teammate needs catching up."

Kaname sighed and decided to just look outside the window as the chopper took off to take them wherever it was. He was here as a subordinate. He was the novice, the inexperienced one. Judging by the way these kids carried themselves (yes, even tiny Ross Oswald), they were already used to battling Akuma of various levels. Ross gripped his naginata firmly, and with just one look Kaname knew the kid could wield that huge spear in ways he could not. The girl, Rain, looked bubbly and carefree, but she too had this sort of deadly grace about her.

It struck him how such children, mortals to boot, could actually have the potential to make him look like an idiot. In front of Yuu Kanda no less. Kaname suddenly reddened at the thought.

They were all silent inside the chopper for the rest of the trip. They went up somewhere near the frozen Alps, landing in the midst of a thick, coniferous forest. When Kanda went out, the three of them followed. Kaname was left to carry the bento boxes and put them on the ground.

"Xanders." General Kanda said suddenly. "Give me your medicine."

Kaname's eyes widened and his lips parted. "What? But…"

"Give me your medicine." Kanda said dangerously. "Now."

Kaname had no choice but to hand over his bottle of blood tablets. His heart beat anxiously inside his chest. What was Kanda going to do? Surely he knew what those tablets were, he was no fool…

"Right." Kanda said, pocketing the bottle. "Bento Training. These bento boxes are good food for one week, for one person. As you can see, I didn't tell you to bring any additional supplies."

Rain and Ross looked expectant, even bored. Kanda was explaining for his sake only. They already knew how this worked.

"I will leave you three here. Seven days. You have to fight for this food supply."

_Is he kidding? He's taking my blood tablets? Is he crazy? HE'S PUTTING THESE TWO KIDS IN DANGER!_

Kaname knew some of his thoughts showed on his face, because Kanda turned to him with a sneer.

"And no, Xanders, I will not answer any questions." That was all and the general went back into the chopper with his blood tablets. A few more minutes and they were gone, positively heading back to HQ.

_He can't be serious. He can't possibly be fucking serious._

Kaname's throat felt terribly dry. When he turned to Ross and Rain, they were already walking away, away from one another. Ross was singing something as he brandished his naginata with every step he took. Rain looked dreamy as she wandered away from the boxes.

Unnerved, Kaname turned his back on the bento boxes and walked away as well.

_He can't be serious. He can't possibly be fucking serious._

His hand automatically reached up to his pendant.

_Innocence, activate._

The scythe formed between his hands. Kaname grit his teeth.

--

His own breath sounded harsh to his ears as he hid behind the pine tree, clutching his scythe close to him. His fangs were at their full length, sharp and deadly against his dry and flaking lips. Kaname had never been this thirsty in all of his existence, no, never. The thirst raged in him, every passing day without a blood tablet was pushing him to the limits of his self-control. His throat burned. Burned with the excruciating need for human blood, yes; hot, thick, and sweet blood.

It was the fifth day.

From here he could hear the shouts and yells the children made. He could hear the cling and clang of metal as Ross' naginata clashed against Rain's swords. Rain Antoinette by far led in this competition; out of the seven bento boxes she had acquired three. The boy Ross was unnervingly good too, having acquired two, a close match to the girl's competence. Kaname Kuran, mortifyingly, was still to acquire a box of food for himself.

Fire. He smelled the distinct, jarring stench that the black flames of Rain's Innocence made. Not that those flames could actually do much damage against Ross' own powers. He heard the girl scream next.

_No good…I can't….shit…_

The girl was growing closer to danger, the more time Kaname spent here dying of his vampiric thirst. It did not help at all that she had swept her hair into a ponytail two days before, exposing her neck, her very lovely, attractive and tasty-looking neck. Kaname dared not go near the fray, just hiding away, for he feared what he could do to that girl. No way in hell would he damn that child to the deadly thirst, no way in hell would he let her turn into one of those countless Level E's…

_I can't. Damn, I can't. I can't. I can't._

_I can't._

_I can't._

Kaname gathered wind around himself, wind that lifted him up and took him away, away, away from Ross and Rain. He would not harm the children. He would not resort to the filthy, low-blow, despicable feeding habits of Level E's. Never. Never, as long as he still considered himself as Kaname Kuran and a pureblood.

Never.

--

He wasn't really sure what he did during those last two days. Kaname couldn't remember at all, but he was absolutely sure he never bit anyone, not that people aside from Exorcists went to this godforsaken cold place. What he could remember was that he heard distinctly the sound of the chopper arriving, thank whatever god there was, and he hastened back to the place, summoning all of his self-control again.

No, he didn't give Kanda a chance to get a word in. Kaname walked straight up to him, his gaze down, and demanded for his blood tablets. His hand was shaking as he extended it for the precious, precious bottle. Kanda was silent as a rock as he returned them, and Kaname walked a few distance away and emptied everything into his mouth.

Even then it took him an hour to get his bearings straight. He was still shaking however, when he re-joined Kanda and his team.

Little Ross Oswald and Rain Antoinette were being patched up by a medic each. The boy apparently had a burnt arm and lost a tooth. Rain was swathed with bandages; she had suffered lots of cuts from Ross' naginata. But despite their injuries, they were both laughing and congratulating each other for a job well done. Rain Antoinette won by just one box.

Kaname was the first to climb up the chopper. He stayed there, quiet, still shaking. In a few moments they were being flown back to HQ.

"You three will be flown to Marseilles." General Kanda said, handing them a folder each. Kaname fumbled with his and ended up scattering his mission list on the floor. Kanda gave him a disdainful frown and didn't even help him pick up the sheets of paper. "A new mission for you three. From Marseilles you will proceed immediately to Antarctica to locate an Innocence fragment in an Emperor Penguin colony. The rest of the details are in your files."

"Penguins!" Rain exclaimed. "Ross! Penguins!"

"Poyoo!" the boy grinned. "But, I like tawsiews mowe!"

Kaname didn't bother reading his files. He did, however, force himself to look at Kanda.

"General. Can we make a brief pass at HQ? I need to get new supplies of my medicine." He said quietly.

Kanda met his gaze easily. Kaname grit his teeth.

_Again he looks at me like I'm worthless. Again he looks at me like I'm nothing but a worm on the ground…_

"Whatever." Then he turned to the chopper's pilot. "Gustave. Take us back to HQ for a bit."

"Understood, sir."

Kanda then turned to the children. "You might as well wash up and take whatever supplies you want."

The four of them fell silent once more. Kaname leant back into his seat and closed his eyes.

--

Yuki had stopped coming to class two months before, when the set date for her and Kaname's wedding had passed by, a dead day. She stayed cooped up in the room she'd shared with Kaname, her hair messily around her, as she watched the Night Class go to the classrooms from her window.

Zero was there, still doing his job as a prefect, still good at keeping the rabid Day Class girls away. He had three more companions now, two boys and a girl, all reliable and good vampire hunters in their own right. Sometimes, just sometimes, Yuki missed that old job…

She turned to the cell phone on the upholstered floor. She picked it up and sent another futile message to Kaname.

**Please answer. Where are you? I'm worried for you. **

It had become a habit now, a sort of routine, to send messages every four hours, messages everyone in the Moon Dorm knew nobody would ever bother to neither read nor answer. Kaname had disappeared like the morning mist.

_Why did you leave me, Kaname?_

She had tried thinking of reasons. Kaname had been perfectly happy before. The thought made Yuki cry yet again.

_Had been. Had been. You make it sound like he--_

Which was the truth that she was still denying. What on earth did she do? She wished he could have told her. She wished he could have told her what was wrong, and then maybe they could have worked things out. She would change if he wanted her to. She would do lots of things, if he wanted her to do them. But this, this, leaving without a trace, forgetting their wedding and not even bothering to call or anything…

Was it possible?

Yuki placed her hands on her chest. She felt cold. Cold, alone and terribly afraid.

Was it possible that Kaname found someone else?

_Oh god. Oh god. Oh god, I would die._


	8. Life In The Tower pt 2

**08 - Life in The Tower pt. 2**

* * *

"Thank you very much."

Lavi smiled beautifully at the flight attendant that gave him his glass of orange juice, sending butterflies fluttering in the young lady's stomach. However, he turned his green eye away from her, closing off all opportunities for further interaction. The girl, disappointed, hesitated briefly and went away. Lavi raised the glass to his lips and took a light sip of the drink, enjoying the tangy, unsweetened taste.

The Bookman wondered vaguely how everyone in HQ was doing. Linali's death a year ago had devastated everyone, but Lavi knew one person who felt pain more than the rest, even more than Komui.

_How are you, Yuu?_

The red-haired man downed the rest of his juice in one go just as something dark moved up from his left side. Arystar Krory sat down beside him, still clad in his cloak. Lavi grinned at the vampire.

"Krorykins. Can't sleep?"

"Not really, I'm all right." Krory admitted. "It's just that….vampire friends won't stop spamming my mail. You do know one pureblood's gone missing?"

"Ah, yes." Lavi replied thoughtfully, lowering his empty glass. "One of the strongest in your ruling class, right? The Kuran patriarch?"

Krory nodded gravely. It was highly unusual for him to be bothered by the comings and goings of his vampire world, especially since he became an Exorcist. And even before that Krory, despite being pureblood, had always been isolated from the rest of his kind. But then again, purebloods had always been rather…special…

"I wonder where Kaname went." Krory was saying. "I've met him a few times, and he never struck me as someone who'd come up and go without explanations."

"Mm," Lavi said. "Maybe the guy has some things in his mind."

Krory nodded and settled down, peeling off the plastic wrapping from the food tray given to him. He shook his head and gave a nearly-feral grin. "I'm glad we're going home. I miss everyone. Allen still owes me a few bucks for that last poker match."

That made the Bookman laugh. "I'd say the money's definitely a lost cause now, Krorykins. You know Allen."

The other Exorcist gave a heartbroken sigh as he bit into his croissant. Another friend, Miranda Lotte, sat down at Lavi's other side with another sigh. Lavi raised his eyebrows.

"We all seem very stressed today?" He said.

"I'm s-sorry." Miranda grinned shyly. "I've never g-gotten over my f-flight s-sickness. I need to be a-around people or else I'll p-p-pass out!" She ended her sentence with a frightened squeak and a widening of her eyes.

_Such a lovely team_, Lavi thought. _Why can't I have the perky ones, like Allen's bunch? Even Yuu's Ross and Rain are so goddamn cute. _

--

"So on the winds, we sail forth on the sea of Chalupas!"

Allen Walker's voice rang loudly that morning in the cafeteria. The white-haired General still looked his perky self despite the fact that his pentacle eye was plastered over with gauze and that his Crown Clown was currently detached from his arm. This meant he presented an oddly disconcerting sight, sitting there, singing a random song he found on the internet, trying to eat without his left arm.

"-- when out of the ocean, the great Chalupa king, he comes with his mighty bolt of electric lightning fury." General Allen raised his spoon and waved it over his head. "My Chalupas I defend! From the king of the great Chalupa sea with his arms of modern steam powered engine of the future! 6.99 for a value meal, 6.99 for a value meal!"

The Finders all exploded in laughter. Allen took a moment to rise and bow, then sat back down laughing along with Supervisor Komui and General Rosalinda. Kaname blinked in a polite manner, too used to the insanity of the Black Order by now.

Try as he might, the pureblood could not give sense to the song. He stopped trying after he first heard Allen singing it three days ago. The general even had a video on his laptop, and had spent some time running around making people watch if they wanted to. Kaname refused and was luckily spared. The song was strange enough. What the hell were Chalupas in the first place?

Kaname Kuran looked down on his untouched tray of risotto, mushroom soup and cappuccino. He looked up again, wondering if Kanda would be eating down here. With him.

Yes. Kaname Kuran was now the unofficial third companion who was tolerated and allowed to sit with Yuu Kanda. It had not been easy, gaining the right. Kaname had earned several trips to the Infirmary during his first tries, and there he met the terrible, terrible lady known simply as Head Nurse, when nobody called her by her real name, Madame Hanna.

The mere thought of Head Nurse with her syringes could make Kaname cringe. He definitely had no plans to show her another lump on the head, another black eye or another bleeding lip. She'd confined him – no, strapped – him to the bed the first time and refused to let him go despite the fact that he'd already healed an hour later. She glared like Juuri Kuran when she was angry. The only difference was, Head Nurse was ALWAYS an ANGRY Juuri.

The buzz of idle chatter soon filled the cafeteria. Even General Walker was talking quietly with Supervisor Komui and Generals Nine and Rosalinda about the upcoming Christmas party for the Order. Still, Kaname waited by the table.

…

In the end he decided Kanda was not coming. The raven-haired beauty kept his time always. If he ate in the cafeteria, he would come at exactly six in the morning and leave at six-fifteen. It was now six-twelve on Kaname's watch. It was already late. Taking his tray, Kaname nodded at the generals and a few Finders he'd already worked with. He gave a wave to Ross and Rain as he handed his tray back to Jerry, who looked at him dolefully, wondering why he didn't eat the excellent food.

"Sorry Jerry." Kaname said with a small smile as he pocketed his gloved hands and decided to go find Kanda.

While Kaname constantly thought about the Cross Academy every day, he knew in himself that he loved being an Exorcist. The missions were dangerous, true, but every fight, every swing of his scythe, every Akuma he sent exploding made him feel alive. He got filthy, he stank, he bled, he hurt, he got knocked out – but all those made him feel _alive_.

A different kind of alive, definitely, especially when he looked into those emotionless eyes—

Kaname gave a small sad smile as he walked down the empty corridors. He had long resigned himself with the fact that he was hopelessly, terribly and stupidly in love with a mortal.

A mortal.

And a man no less.

What else could it be? Kaname had asked himself a hundred times during the course of the year that had passed him by in the Black Order. He was distracted every time Kanda went away; he felt inexplicably angry at the Akuma whenever he saw an injury on that man. He did well in missions if only to get a small nod of acknowledgement, or an appraising glance that lasted only fifteen seconds. He knew he looked like a bloody idiot, damn, Kaname knew that, but he didn't care.

Yuki seemed a pale memory, a shard of a past he wanted to forget, when compared to the vision of Yuu Kanda in his head.

And yet…Kanda was always so distant. The walls around him were thick, very thick, and Kaname knew he would have to use everything that he had if he hoped to shatter them. He wanted to have that figure in his arms. He wanted to run his hand through those silky strands of blue and black. He wanted to--

Kaname cut his own train of thoughts as he felt his face heat up. It was useless. Kanda kept popping up in his head like a stubborn mushroom. It was no use.

Up to the rooftop Kaname went. His heart seemed to freeze inside his chest when he suddenly found Kanda there, lying on the tiles, eyes closed, beautiful, and terribly beautiful, his hair spread around like ink.

…He could have drowned in the sight for eternity.

He had noticed some things about Kanda in the span of time he'd been in the Order. Outwardly the man was sociable and cold, but Kaname knew Kanda cared deeply for every subordinate under his name. How many times had he seen the General come up here and remain sleepless for days every time the news of a team's demise reached his ears? How many times had he seen those empty gray eyes almost flicker, almost show fondness whenever Rain or Ross came to talk to him?

Kanda was not what he appeared to be. He was much, much more.

But…

Why was he hiding in those impenetrable walls? Why did he have to masquerade around like an anti-social son of a bitch? Why?

_Why?_

Kaname bit his lower lip and flicked a finger. Wind, gentle wind, gathered around the raven-haired general's form on the roof. Wind caressed those strands of hair, wind that seemed to seep into his loose shirt to touch his body underneath.

…

Fine gray eyes cracked slowly open. Kaname quietly hid himself behind another small turret on the rooftop, his own eyes shut tight. He couldn't stand it. This distance, this coldness….it was driving him mad.

"What do you want, son of a bitch?" Kanda's voice came clear as a crystal.

_Always, always, you seem to sense me…_

"General Kanda."

There was nothing to it. He had to show himself. Kaname gave the man a small, sad smile. "Good morning, general."

Kanda turned away and ran a hand through his hair. An inexplicable and unbelievable pain spread somewhere in Kaname's chest.

"So you came all the way out here to greet me good morning," Kanda said testily. "How very fucking _sweet_." He spat the word as if it were venom on his tongue. "Quit the bullshit because I don't fucking need it. What do you want?" He demanded.

"To see you." Kaname said blankly. "Is that a crime now?"

Kanda gave a snort and subjected him to the mercy of those gray eyes yet again.

_Stop looking at me as if I'm nothing! I hate it! I hate the way you look at me like I'm filth, like I'm--_

He took a step forward, and another, and another…until he was standing on the roof an arm's length away from where Kanda sat. This close Kaname could see the man had a bamboo flute nearby. Did he play?

"You really have nerve, don't you." Kanda was saying. "You intrude on my table. And now, even my chunk of the goddamn rooftop…"

Kaname folded his legs underneath him and sat down, facing the horizon, where the distant city of Clermont Ferrand could be barely seen.

"Son of a bitch." Kanda said, rising.

…

Kaname wasn't sure what made him do it. He grabbed Kanda's hand, and, staring into those eyes, raised the hand to brush with his lips.

Those gray eyes flashed, and in a moment looked like storm clouds threatening to bring rain. Kanda snatched his hand back, and--

_Slap._

Kaname reeled from the blow but didn't fall down. He raised his own hand to touch his cheek. Kanda was already gone.

--

"_You will earn a new strength, but at the same time, you have summoned a sinister future. Wherever you will go…there will be nothing but darkness, Kaname..."_

The alarm clock rang loudly, the sound boring relentlessly into Kaname's ears, shocking the pureblood so badly that he toppled off his own bed and onto the floor.

"Ow…"

Kaname got up; a hand messing up his already messy hair as he groggily pressed the alarm clock's alarm button to shut it up. His body now used to routine, he got a towel and a fresh set of his Exorcist uniform, and then headed for his bathroom.

He was already heading down the cafeteria fifteen minutes later. He entered the bustling place, fragrant with Jerry's cooking, eyes immediately scanning for Kanda as he waited for his food.

_Ah!_

Kanda was there. Kaname eagerly got his tray and walked over, a small smile on his lips, but--

The vampire's footsteps slowed until he came to a complete stop.

Kanda was at the customary table they shared, all right, but there was someone sitting beside him, on the chair that Kaname had long since claimed his.

…

Kaname's hands tightened on the tray. Beneath his lips he could feel his fangs grow a few centimeters in response to his anger.

A red-haired man with an eye patch was sitting with Yuu Kanda, chatting animatedly with the raven-haired general.

_How dare…who?_

The red-haired man seemed to notice his glare. He moved his head and Kaname found himself glaring into an eye so green it could shame an emerald.

_How dare you--_

* * *

**"Robert Mitchum's Chalupa Song", from the short movie "The Cloak" **

**by FilmCow**


	9. Intentions

**09 - Intentions**

* * *

Team Lavi had arrived back in HQ at exactly four in the morning from Paris. Krory had gone on to his quarters to rest, as the vampiric languor was still unforgiving on his system as always. Miranda was too tired, but managed to down a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of warm milk before going to her own chambers to rest. Lavi was tired from the trip too, what with the jetlag and the drive, but the Bookman was never one to give in to fatigue easily.

After a quick visit to Hevlaska and confirming his Innocence was in tip-top shape, Lavi went to the kitchens and there made Jerry's morning by helping with the cooking while exchanging jokes and stories with the other cooks. At exactly 5:45 Lavi went out of the kitchens just as the Generals went to their table.

"LAVI! WHEN DID YOU ARRIVE?!"

Allen was still cheerful and perky as always. Lavi grabbed the younger general by the collar and gave him a customary noogie and a mock strangulation. He sat with Nine, Allen, Rosa and Komui for a while, telling them about the missions and women that he met until Yuu arrived.

"Excuse me. Someone needs cheering up!" Lavi grinned as he rose easily and went to Kanda's table.

His best friend didn't acknowledge him as always. Kanda just sat down and started to eat as Lavi watched him.

"How are you, Yuu?" Lavi asked softly, his head supported by his right hand. "Feeling better?"

No answer.

_You haven't changed at all, Yuu._ Lavi shifted on the chair to make himself more comfortable and reached for one tempura from Kanda's bento. The raven-haired general made no move to stop him, so Lavi gave a nod of thanks and proceeded to nibble on the food. Crunchy and good. Jerry's cooking was forever awesome.

"You know, Yuu, when we were in Spain I met this really hot lady." Lavi said, perking up, grin widening. It was relatively very simple to make Yuu Kanda happy, to make him forget the burden of his Innocence even for just a small while. One way was to constantly talk to him. Just talk, talk, talk. "By the gods, Yuu, if you could have seen her dance the flamenco, she was--" Lavi paused and raised his arms and imitated the lady's movements. "She'd make your face hot too!"

Kanda only glanced at him and snorted. For a moment the raven-haired man put his chopsticks down as he took his mug of tea for a drink. His sips were slow. Lavi, still grinning, took note that Kanda was looking way much better than when he had seen him last. When Lavi left HQ Kanda was still devastated with Linali's death, pale, heartbroken and was every inch determined to die of starvation.

Boy, Lavi was glad his friend was eating now.

"So, we went to Nigeria next." Lavi went on. His hand made to reach for a second tempura but Kanda was faster; what the Bookman got was a nasty whack on the hand. "Ow! I'm just kidding, Yuu! I know how hungry you can get!"

The comment merited a glare. After all, Kanda was determined to keep the true nature of Mugen as a Parasitic-type under wraps. Lavi grinned the glare away.

"Right. Nigeria. You know the women there are so pretty--"

"Goddamn it all, Lavi, can't you talk of anything else except women and your being horny?" Kanda cut him off smoothly. "I really don't give a shit what gives you a hard-on and what doesn't, you know? Go fuck a tree if it suits your tastes. Shut up. And go away."

Lavi laughed loudly at that. Yes. Yuu was definitely getting a move on and doing way better…

_Woah. Wait a minute_. The Bookman just felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand on end. Lavi tore his gaze away from Kanda and looked up just as Kaname Kuran approached them, not looking pleased at something.

Lavi stared. Kaname stared right back.

--

"Ow."

Allen Walker looked up from finishing his platter of carbonara as Klaud Nine gave him a nudge with her shoe. He blinked at the older woman in confusion, but her Innocence, the golden monkey named Lau Jimin, pointed for her. Allen followed the little monkey's fingers.

Kanda now had two – _TWO_ – people sitting with him. Allen put his fork down and reached for his napkin, and then wiped his mouth.

"Wow." He said. "Is the world ending?"

Klaud Nine was shaking her head in disbelief. She herself had to pause from eating her breakfast. "Let's see what comes of this. What's the betting either Lavi or Xanders gets beaten up? I bet 500 euro."

Komui gave his glasses a push. "I bet 500 euro nobody gets hurt and Kanda leaves out of annoyance."

Allen shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "Mmf. I bet 500 euro Kanda and Xanders finish their meal with Lavi yakking over them." Pause. "And that Kanda shoves his bowl of miso soup into Lavi's face to shut him up."

The three stared at each other.

"All right."

"You're on."

"Game."

--

Kaname sat down, knowing full well Kanda would not bother with introductions. He still kept his eyes toward the new Exorcist. The kid was probably the same age as Kanda's, but he was certainly a lot taller and more cheerful. Kaname had to admit he had never seen hair so red, but at that moment, he decided he'd hate red-heads because they were such an eyesore.

The green-eyed kid gave a grin and extended a gloved hand after a long moment of consideration.

"Hi! I'm Lavi, nice to meet you."

Lavi?

…

Another general, then. Kaname warily took the offered hand to shake it. He let go at once and nodded. "Kraez Xanders." He said softly. Then he started to eat his breakfast.

"You're in Yuu's team as well?" Lavi pressed on. "What Innocence?"

Kaname took a moment to swallow. "Yes. Innocence of the Damned, 75."

General Lavi nodded, grin still in place. Kaname noted that just like Kanda, though this guy seemed to give off an eternal cheerful aura, when you took a closer look his grin was empty and not even close to being what you'd call really happy. So this was another guy who knew how to hide his thoughts and emotions.

Was the Black Order so full of liars, then?

"Ah! That's a pretty interesting Innocence you got there." Lavi said, perking up yet again. "Turns into a scythe, right? The other half of the Damned-Divinity set. It'd be really cool if we're to find a compatible user for your Innocence's other half."

The pureblood only gave a mildly interested smile. What he did want though, was for this man to get away from the table and leave them to eat their meals in peace. But the guy looked like he was not leaving anytime soon.

"As I was saying to Yuu here." Lavi went on. "When my team went to Nigeria, we met a group of pretty interesting people." He gestured with his hands as he talked. Kaname knew a good speaker upon sight; it took one to know one after all. "The ladies, as always are a beautiful lot…"

Kaname only gave a polite blink.

"You do like ladies, do you?" Lavi turned to him, smirking. "I mean, I try to keep an open conversation if your sexual preferences tend otherwise?"

Another blink. "Of course I like ladies. It is impossible not to like ladies."

"Awesome." Lavi reached over and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Right. Where were we? Ah, yes. The ladies of Nigeria. There was--"

Kanda gave an impatient toss of his head and rose. "For fuck's sake, Lavi. Your goddamn voice is making my ears ring!"

"I just got back and this is how you treat me, Yuu?" Lavi said, pretending to sniff. "And I have got a lot of stories for you too!"

"Well tell them to some bored idiot who has the time!" Kanda snapped.

That was all and the raven-haired general stormed off. Kaname put his spoon down and rose as well. He gave a small bow toward Lavi and was quickly at Kanda's heels.

--

Allen, Klaud Nine and Komui watched in silence first as Kanda left, quickly followed by Xanders. Rosalinda, the blonde Lolita general, turned from her parfait and poked the cheeks of the three people sitting with her.

"Well," she commented. "Looks like nobody won the bet?" she said brightly.

--

He followed Kanda faithfully like a servant as the general left the cafeteria. Even from a mile off he could probably sense Kanda's agitation. But then, if he disliked the red-haired guy's chattering, why did he let the man share the table in the first place? And the fact that General Lavi could call Kanda by his first name without getting stabbed was something Kaname decided he could not like.

Abruptly Kanda stopped walking, and Kaname came to a halt too.

"The fuck are you doing?" Kanda demanded, turning those familiar gray eyes to him.

"I'm simply walking in the same direction, general." Kaname replied promptly. All right. He can play this game. He was never one to give up easily, himself.

Kanda went on walking, and Kaname was right there behind him. They came to the Missions Department.

"What the fuck," Kanda snarled, seeing him still there. "Are you pissing me off? Son of a bitch, just say it!"

Kaname gave him a lazy blink. "Why, general. I'm also off to get a missions list."

He heard Kanda hiss 'che' before going inside the office. Kaname was quickly inside too. The officers and personnel of the Missions Department all greeted them with a smile, but some saluted to General Kanda. Kaname only gave a small nod for every greeting thrown his way.

A petite brunette gave him a folder. Kaname pretended to survey the missions list inside. Kanda was also looking for things to do, but abruptly he left again. Kaname handed the folder back with thanks and followed his general once more.

They walked, and walked, and walked.

"GODDAMN IT," Kanda shouted as they neared the archery range. "STOP FOLLOWING ME!"

"No." Kaname said.

Those gray eyes flashed in outrage. "You--"

Kaname reached out a hand and took Kanda's wrist. "I do love you."

…

Silence. Kaname let him go.

"I love you, Yuu Kanda."

--

He watched the vampire trail after Yuu. Krory had told him about this, and after all, the Bookman clan's archives covered almost any topic under the sun. Lavi himself had studied extensively in the vampiric lore.

He knew for a fact that when a vampire focused on one person, it could only be one of three things.

The vampire was infatuated with the human.

The vampire was especially delighted with the human's blood and intends to suck the target dry.

The vampire may be lusting after the said human; the vampire may also be madly in love and intends to turn the said human into a vampire.

…

_Kraez Xanders my ass._

Lavi also knew for a fact that Krory's missing friend was right here. What a small world, really, to have both Arystar Krory and Kaname Kuran, both purebloods, in one place, as Exorcists.

Well it seemed Yuu was in deep trouble and he didn't even know it.

"Damnit, Yuu, what did you get yourself into now? Linali would not be pleased, oh no, not at all…"


	10. Blade

**10 - Blade**

* * *

The tiredness from his latest mission (a two-week travel in the Sahara Desert) was heavy and leaden in Kaname's bones, but the pureblood was not yet about to sleep. He glanced at his clock; it told him it was close to 4 in the morning now. The Night Class would end at 4:30, if Ichijou kept his schedule.

Kaname rose from his swivel chair, shirtless, clad only in the dark standard issue pants as he wiped his hair with the towel draped on his shoulders. That had been a refreshing bath. He had taken three hours earlier to clean himself fully from the Sahara and the Akuma's filth, and how he wished the water and the soap could also clear his thoughts for him. But Kaname knew this was vain hope.

A knock on his door. Kaname turned his head just as Arystar Krory entered the room, cloak swirling by his heels. The Kuran heir rose, smiling sincerely, and gave his friend a brief hug and a pat on the back.

"Arystar," Kaname greeted, hands on Krory's shoulders. "It has been a while. You have changed so much…"

"You too," Krory said, his soft voice tinged with wonder as he blinked at his friend. "You have changed…."

Kaname tilted his head a bit, the tiniest of gestures, and gave a soft smile. "Oh? How so, Arystar? What changes do you find in me?"

Krory blinked politely around Kaname's cramped room. He smiled yet again. When they had seen each other last before his family transferred to Romania, Kaname had lived with his parents Haruka and Juuri, and with his sister Yuki, whom even then he was in love with. His rooms were certainly very big and well-furnished, and servants were always there to do his bidding. Now, seeing Kaname like this tickled a curiosity in Krory's mind.

"For one," he went on, sitting on Kaname's bed. "Seeing you devoid of comfort and luxury is something to behold."

The comment merited a laugh that Kaname hadn't used for a long time. He remained standing though, still wiping his hair dry with the towel. Krory watched him curiously.

"And your eyes…"

"Hmm?" said Kaname, sitting back down on his swivel chair. He took a moment to glance at his monitor; he was invisible on a chat console and was still waiting for Ichijou to come online. So far Ruka, Aido, Kain and Seiren had already signed in. Yuki was online as well. "What about my eyes…?"

The other pureblood chose his words well. "Even as a child, Kaname, I remember how you looked…so disinterested in things." Krory said softly. "You claimed to love your sister--"

Kaname felt a twang of regret there, but nothing showed on his face.

"--but I knew…somehow…your eyes were never bright when you looked at her, when we watched her play. Now, though…" Krory gave a sincere smile. "I am happy for you. I don't think even Haruka and Juuri have ever seen your eyes so alive."

…

Kaname pulled the towel to his face to hide the embarrassing and incriminating blush that had tainted his cheeks then. Ichijou's name popped up, and Kaname double clicked on his entry. A chat window opened.

**Hello.**

He turned away and faced Krory again, towel still covering his face. "Are they, Arystar? Are my eyes alive…?" He said in a voice that would be inaudible to human ears. "Can you tell me if they're lit because of pain or love?"

"Both." Krory guessed correctly. "I know how it feels to be in pain and in love."

Silence. Kaname returned to his monitor.

**MY GOD, KANAME. WHERE ARE YOU?**

He took some moments to type a reply.

**Ichijou. Be quiet. How is the Academy?**

Ichijou then launched into a full-blown status report, and then ended with the dreaded questions: **Where are you? Why did you leave? When are you coming back?**

He returned to his buddy list and double-clicked on Seiren's name.

**Hello.**

Her reply was quick. **Kaname-sama. Still safe?**

That made him smile. **Always.**

"Is it who I think it is, Kaname?" Krory broke the quiet. "I have seen how you look at him as if he's a continuous battle that you are not winning…"

He could not answer.

"Kaname…" Krory continued. "I am happy that you found someone…but your status is very different with mine, though I am a pureblood myself. You're a very important person in the ruling of our kind, and the council….the council is _merciless_…"

He knew that. Of course. He was there when the council had decided that Shizuka Hio's lover should be liquidated. He was there when she flew into an assembly, maddened with grief and rage, demanding who did this to her, who goddamn it, and she would kill them all, wipe all traces of their bloodline in the world…

_How ridiculous._ That had been his thought as he watched Shizuka spill her heart out on that council assembly. Like the rest of them, he had disdained having attachments to humans. Like the rest of them, he had viewed humans as nothing but food and brief entertainment. He could not understand why and how Shizuka could cry tears of blood for a mortal. He could not understand why and how a pureblood like herself could feel so much pain for something so insignificant.

_I understand it now. I can't believe I'm actually wishing I didn't kill her…_

Ichijou's window was flashing orange wildly on his monitor. Kaname signed out of the chat console and returned to Krory.

"I know how merciless the council can get, Arystar…" He said softly, raising a hand to his forehead. "Can you blame me?" He smiled sadly at his friend. "It was just a chance encounter in Japan…I can't believe how fast it took…how fleeting…I was so in love with Yuki yesterday, and now, and now….the mere thought of her fills me with regret…" Kaname managed a small, hysterical laugh. "I don't know. It's why I'm here at all, Arystar. It's why I endured all the humiliation and the pain and everything else, and I feel like damn I _will_ endure them all as long as I see him, as long as he sees me, as long as he's close…"

Krory rose and was standing over him, quiet.

"I'm in love with a mortal!" Kaname said, still laughing hysterically. "And what's worse, it's a man! It's a man! How crazy can you get--?"

Krory bent down, his lips close to Kaname's ear.

"I've been through worse, Kaname." He said. "I used to be in love with an Akuma, and I had to kill her."

--

Yuu Kanda sat on a chair in front of Komui's desk, legs crossed one above the other, his calloused hands clasped together and resting on his right knee. He had his blue-black hair loose, cascading beautifully down his back as he sat. He wore no coat for today; just his long sleeved white shirt, his pants, his boots and his sword. Kanda presented a sight for everyone in the Black Order whenever he appeared like so; even Allen had complimented his looks.

He was trying hard not to look at the black-framed picture behind Komui's chair, but he was failing. Linali's smile was forever preserved in that picture. Giving up, he lifted his chin and stared at the picture.

It was true that he had loved Linali while she had been alive. They had grown up together here, in the Black Order, and the life of an Exorcist was the only life they knew. When she had been killed by Rhode Kamelot, Kanda had felt like everything collapsed around him. Like it was senseless to live on…

He had actually been tempted to call on the Earl once. But he knew Linali would not forgive him for it. This thought in mind, it had been easy to move on. Now Linali was just something in his crappy past that could make him smile.

"Ah, General, did you wait long?"

He glanced up just as Komui sat down behind his desk, clutching an inch-thick dossier with his name printed up front.

Silence.

"Kanda….that broken arm you had months ago." Komui said slowly. "Once, you could heal broken bones in a matter of seconds. That arm took an entire month to heal."

He only blinked idly. Komui sighed and flipped the pages of his dossier.

"Kanda…I need you to be honest with me." Komui went on. "Please?"

Still no answer.

"How many petals have you lost?"

Kanda tipped his head back for a moment. "Five."

Komui let out the sigh that he had been holding. "And at critical rate, to boot…." His eyes transferred to Kanda's face. "I trust you've visited Hevlaska. What did she say to you?"

"Once my healing disappears, it's over."

"Over?"

He nodded. He and Komui might have been discussing other, pleasant things. "Once the healing disappears, I will sink into a comatose, and once I do…it's only a matter of days or a week before I lose all my hair, my ears, grow paper-white and bleed from my eyes."

"I am amazed with the calmness with which you say all this." Komui said.

"It's all in a state of mind," Kanda replied, rising and sweeping his hair over one shoulder. "It's simply accepting my fate – that I'm going to die and that's the end of it."

He left the room without another glance.

--

Lavi perked up when Komui's door opened and Yuu came out, coatless and had his hair loose, a sight guaranteed to make girls swoon. The Bookman straightened up from leaning on the wall and uncrossed his arms, smiling easily as he caught up with his best friend's pace.

"Hello, Yuu!" He grinned.

Kanda only gave him his distinct piss-off look. But Lavi knew Kanda too much to be thrown away that easily. He walked with his friend, his arms held up, crossed, behind his head.

"Listen, can I have a word, Yuu?" He stopped walking.

Thank goodness Kanda stopped walking. He was in a good mood if he was stopping and actually had the time to pay attention to what he had to say. Right. Better use this opportunity…

"Be careful, Yuu." Lavi said, growing serious. "I know that you can take care of yourself, but sometimes, things can get too much even for someone as strong as you. Linali will be worried, wherever she is. You got that?"

Kanda blinked at him in mild confusion, but Lavi was aware they were both not stupid. Kanda had to know what he was talking about – after all, he recruited the guy into the Order. He even went along with the guy changing his name to Kraez Xanders to hide from the Vatican, right? Kanda _had_ to know. People who did not have Allen's brains could tell that there was something about Kanda that was drawing the vampire's attentions.

"I've got lots of books on the topic if you want to read up." Lavi said as he resumed walking. "Feel free to crash around my library. I'm off to a mission now. See you when I get back, Yuu, all right?"

--

This was definitely crossing the boundaries. Kaname stood in the room, clad in his Exorcist uniform and gloved hands in his pockets, looking around politely. He had entered here uninvited; he just felt like seeing what sort of environment Yuu Kanda had confined himself in, and was surprised to discover that despite being General, Kanda's room was cramped and substandard like his was.

Everything was basic: closet, bed, chair and a table where an ornate hourglass stood. Kaname was mesmerized with the thing. It looked so old it was probably an heirloom, a pretty thing possibly crafted not by human hands for all of the intricate designs on it. But instead of sand, the hourglass had a lotus at its upper half, the flower suspended by unknown means, a pale pink in color, possibly because of the five wilted petals at the base. There were no lights; what little light came from the hourglass, which seemed to glow a soft white from within itself. There was a sleek Mac Book Air beside the hourglass, closed.

The door opened and Kaname half-turned. Kanda stood there, gray eyes wide with outrage.

"Why you…son of a bitch--"

"I was just looking." Kaname said. "I have my hands in my pockets. I haven't touched anything."

Kanda was beside himself, trembling with rage. He pointed a shaking finger toward the door.

"Get the fuck out." He hissed. "Out."

Kaname noted that Kanda looked much better without the stifling coat and with his hair down. He easily closed the distance between them, and before Kanda could make sense of things, Kaname had his hand on his neck, and their lips touching.

…

The pureblood didn't hesitate this time. The hand on Kanda's neck easily slid over to the back of his head, burying into those silken locks of raven hair. His lips…Kaname eagerly pressed just a bit harder against those lips. He could feel Kanda's right hand grasp his coat tightly.

_Is this…_

And then, abruptly, searing pain spread from his chest and rippled viciously throughout his body. Kaname gasped and stepped back, his eyes bright red, as he blinked down at the pool of blood forming beneath his boot heels. Kanda's sword, black-bladed Mugen, was stuck in his right shoulder. The blade went through his shoulder, and the Innocence hissed furiously, smoking.

"You fucking son of a bitch," Kanda was snarling as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Kaname realized through the red haze of pain that Kanda's eyes were showing emotion for the first time – they were not the empty gray he had grown used to, but looked like storm clouds threatening to bring torrential rain.

It hurt. Small, dark veins started spreading up Kaname's right cheek.

"Really…we _can_ talk without getting violent, Yuu." Kaname said. He decided he liked how the name rolled on his tongue and lips. He grasped the hilt of the sword and pulled. More blood came splattering down the floor, spreading, until it touched Kanda's boots as well. "This hurts. I think my healing will not work here." He sighed. "You made me lose lots of blood."

Kanda was too angry to speak. Kaname glanced at him, holding his left hand to the gaping wound. The vampire smiled sadly and extended his bloody left hand. He brushed a finger on Kanda's cheek, leaving behind a red streak.

"I love you."

The general's eyes flashed, and Kaname found himself slamming into the wall, all breath knocked out of his lungs for the time being. Kanda had kicked him, but the kick was too strong to be able to fling him like this. The man had inhuman strength.

"You sick bastard," Kanda snarled. "Take your ridiculous infatuation somewhere else!"

"It's not an infa…" Kaname winced as he got to his feet. "..tuation. I love you. I do love you."

They stared at each other. Kaname gave a small bow and left, clutching his broken shoulder and trailing blood behind him.


	11. Merry Christmas

**11 - Merry Christmas**

* * *

That year's Christmas for Cross Academy was a pale one, compared to the previous years that had gone by. Students, faculty and outsiders alike had always looked forward to the Moon Dorm open-house festivities during Christmas and New Year, where the vampire students put on their best and launched that seemed to be the entire flamboyance of the vampire court. But this year, there was nothing, like the last year. The Moon Dorm's curtains were all down, the lights low, and the Christmas tree undecorated. Yuki Kuran would not have celebrations, not until Kaname had returned.

Zero Kiryuu looked up blankly at the Moon Dorm as he approached, still clad in his school coat and still dragging a paper bag's worth of Christmas presents from his classmates. He came to a stop briefly at the dorm's doors, let out a soft sigh and entered.

Hanabusa Aido was waiting for him. Inside, the lights were dimmer than what Zero had thought, and only a few vampires were up and about exchanging presents with quiet words. Not that Christmas really meant anything to creatures like them. They had only caught on the excitement from the humans and thought the idea of gift-giving was very amusing.

"She's waiting for you in their room." Aido said.

'_Their' room? More like 'her' room now._

The elder Kiryuu twin only nodded and proceeded upstairs. Somewhere within his head, a part of him was screaming for him to stop being such a ridiculous fucked-up martyr and go back to his own dorm and open his presents. But another part, the fucked-up martyr part that would not just stop paying any mind to Yuki said otherwise – that he should go help her, comfort her, especially now that she needed him more than ever before.

_Need me? As what? As a cover-up because her boyfriend dumped her?_

Even Ichiru had counseled him earlier about going. His twin had simply shook his head when he'd received Yuki's letter. In the end, Ichiru gave up, said "up to you" and went back to his own room for his own presents.

Why the hell was he even bothering?

Zero knew this door very much. Besides being a nicely-crafted rosewood door that would fetch a hefty price in today's antiques market, the door had been his best friend when he and Kaname Kuran had fought for Yuki's memory seemingly ages ago. He had thought vaguely that Kaname would surely want the door replaced; hadn't he gone through it?

He raised his fist to knock, but the door opened. Yuki came out wearing a pastel pink nightgown, her hair long and messily framing her small body. She gave him a smile, but Zero did not return it.

"You got lots of presents this year," she commented, crimson eyes on the paper bag he had.

"Quit the crap. What do you need?" Zero said, cutting through her pitiful game easily. "I don't have all night to stand here. The Prefects of the school have their duty."

She bit her lower lip as she tried to gather her thoughts. Somewhere at the back of his mind, Zero knew Yuki still had an awfully long way to go to be able to survive in the vampire court, where the name of the game was murder and deceit. She was so easy to read, a definite no-no when it came to vampire politics.

"I need your help." She said, averting her gaze to the floor.

He already knew what help it was that Yuki wanted. The Vampire Hunter Association was not stupid. Everybody had been surprised when the news of Kaname Kuran's disappearance leaked out. Nobody expected Kaname to do such a thing. The association had long mobilized its own connections and people, and there had been a teensy bit of interesting finds, but no definite or truly credible leads.

"There has been news of a Kaname look-alike in Egypt." He said.

Yuki's head snapped up, in her eyes a faint and desperate glimmer of hope. Zero shook his head.

"The look-alike was seen with two people, a boy and a teenage girl. They traveled with a camel caravan to the depths of the Sahara Desert. _In daylight_." He recited methodically. "These people are Exorcists; specially trained men and women who fight other kinds of monstrosities. The look-alike wielded a scythe and knew how to fire a gun. Kaname's talents lie with a sword and if you give him a gun he'd probably end up shooting his own feet."

Yuki slumped visibly against the wall. Zero decided it was high time he grew a backbone and move on, for his own good. For the first time in ages, he was going to listen to what Ichiru said. He made to turn on his heels and leave.

"Wait."

He gritted his teeth as he felt her hand on his sleeve. Zero half-turned, glancing at Yuki.

"Zero, please update me." She said. "With anything that comes up. Anything at all…"

Zero pulled his sleeve away and walked out of the Moon Dorm without looking back.

_Now you know how it feels to be left behind. It hurts, doesn't it? It hurts so much you'd rather die than wake up another day and feeling that same gnawing in your chest. Merry Christmas, Yuki._

--

Kaname, along with Krory and Rain, was in Jerry's kitchen. For once in a long while he was not wearing his Exorcist uniform but the familiar dark-hued shirts and slacks he loved, plus an apron as they helped Jerry and his cooks take out the humongous and terribly delicious-looking Christmas dinner.

The cafeteria looked splendid and festive with the giant Christmas tree that danced, courtesy of the Science Department. Even Komurin was well-behaved enough to actually help around with last minute decorations and emergency lights repair. All the long tables were scrubbed clean until they shone, and the food was simply superb – Jerry and his team of cooks surely outdid themselves.

The Kuran heir put the huge roast turkey down on table 8 and rushed back to the kitchens for the gravy and a steaming pot of soup for table 14. He took a moment to give his back a knock and to wipe the beads of sweat on his forehead. Kaname looked around appreciatively. Ten more tables to fill up…

"Kraez-san! Help!" Rain Antoinette's voice rang. Kaname turned his head to find his teammate almost collapsing with the huge pot of solyanka from the kitchen. He immediately rushed over and helped her bring the fragrant food to table 20.

"Whew," Kaname exclaimed, smiling at Rain. "Jerry can cook a lot. I mean…and I can't even know what to start tasting."

Rain grinned. "I don't know with you but I'm definitely securing the turkey on our table."

They both laughed. And then Rain fumbled in her pockets and gave him a wrapped present.

"For you. Your last scarf was ruined by that emergency sortie down in Rouen; I thought I'd make you and Ross one each! Merry Christmas, Kraez-san!"

Kaname blushed faintly as he took the present. He felt like a giddy kid. "Th-thank you, Rain, I'm sorry I haven't got anything at all…"

The girl laughed and gave him a playful punch on the chest. "No worries! Right, um, I better get the cakes and serve them – and maybe I can steal a slice or two!" She snickered and darted back to the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas, Kaname!" Krory called as he and Ross passed, carrying a huge platter of caramelized apples.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Arystar!" Kaname called back, still grinning.

_There's one person who I need to greet._

Kaname removed his apron and dumped it on the nearest chair he could find before he dashed out of the cafeteria, two destinations in mind. He made a quick detour, first to the kitchen to take the soba he had cooked himself, then to his room to deposit Rain's gift onto the top of the pile he had received earlier that day.

_Right then._

He sincerely hoped Yuu would like it. He had asked for lessons from no one else but Jerry himself and hoped that his own recipe was up to par. Kaname was wise enough not to include any sweet stuff in – Allen Walker had told him Yuu Kanda hated sweets as much as he hated Akuma, maybe more.

The bento was warm against Kaname's hands. Just a perfect meal for Yuu, he had nothing else in mind as he cooked this--

"Merry Christmas, Xanders." General Lavi greeted, one green eye glancing quickly at the bento he had in his hands. "Don't be late for the awesome dinner."

Kaname answered with a stiff nod. "Merry Christmas, General Lavi."

They passed each other and Kaname immediately dismissed the red-haired general from his thoughts as he rounded a corner and found himself before Kanda's door. A faint light seeped from under the other side. Kaname raised his right fight and knocked three times.

No answer.

He had his hand on the doorknob and gave it a turn. Inside, Kanda was shirtless and had his hair loose. It was Christmas Eve and yet the general was busy typing away on his laptop and glancing now and then to his heavily customized mobile phone. He didn't even look up to acknowledge Kaname.

_It's Christmas, Yuu. You need to lighten up…_

"Merry Christmas." Kaname said softly, putting the food down where Kanda could see it. "You'd better eat it while it's still hot."

But Kanda didn't stop, not even once, from working. He didn't even give any indication that he heard Kaname, or that the bento was currently emanating such a delicious scent that was enough to make anyone not Yuu Kanda a pause.

…

Kaname closed the door and leant on it. He just stood there and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The food had long gone stone-cold and drunken singing could already be heard faintly all around them when Yuu Kanda finally decided to rest his eyes and turn away from his laptop. Kaname had not once moved from his spot. The ache in the vampire's heart seemed to have grown more painful.

"What are you still doing here?" Kanda asked dispassionately as he closed his laptop and removed the glasses perched before his beautiful eyes. He leant back on his swivel chair with a soft groan.

"Waiting for you to eat." Kaname replied. He felt tired, very tired – tired of every stupidity, every hurt, every sacrifice. "Merry Christmas."

Kanda glanced at him. "I didn't know such a stupid holiday meant anything for a blood sucking son of a bitch like you."

Kaname felt hurt, really hurt. "The least you could do is appreciate a small present."

The other man only snorted. "Why the fuck should I trust something made by a vampire?"

…

He took several steps, until he was just mere inches from where Kanda sat. Kaname's eyes were a bright red, a definite sign of his anger and pain, but for everything, Kanda still looked at him as if he were filth, or a dead insect sticking to his shoe.

"Are you so heartless, Yuu?" Kaname whispered. "Must I beg? Must I kneel? If you keep pushing me away, I will grow tired. I will leave you."

"Perfect." Kanda said, clapping in sheer mockery. "Because you know what, son of a bitch? That's _exactly_ what I want you to do. I want you to get the fuck out of my sight and never return. And take your stupid feelings with you because I don't fucking need them, do you understand?"

…

"I'm growing tired of this." Kaname spoke.

"Then grow tired and do both of us a favor." Kanda said, rising and turning his back on him.

Kaname cast his glance toward the hourglass, just so he could stop the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. His fists were clenched so hard his knuckles had gone paper white.

Then Kanda swept his hair up into its customary ponytail.

"Get out."

Kaname let out a shuddering exhale and decided he'd suffered enough for that night. He left without closing the door.

--

The New Year came to pass when Kaname was in a mission with Ross at Yamoussoukro. The pureblood had taken three missions consecutively just so he could avoid being in HQ for a while and spare himself from unnecessary pain, now that the new round of the generals' duties were given and Yuu Kanda was assigned managerial duties for that quarter.

Ross had been terribly happy as they watched the fireworks show, while Kaname only smiled disinterestedly at the Catherine wheels and the fountains. Many times during their stay in the capital of Cote d'Ivoire Kaname had actually thought of just giving up and finally returning to Cross Academy.

But always, with every sunrise, something always stopped him from leaving.

They had finally returned to HQ and had just filed their status reports in the Missions Department. Ross bade him farewell; the kid said he needed his sleep. Kaname wandered around in one of the lounges for a while and decided he would get another mission. He backtracked and was just about to go back to the Missions Department when Kanda's clear voice made him stop on his tracks.

"Kuran. I have been looking for you."

Kaname smiled sadly as he faced his general. Kanda looked stiff, formal and deadly in his uniform. He had two file folders, one of which he gave to Kaname.

"We will be going on a mission." He said.

A brief glance on the mission overview told Kaname they were to go to Chile and try secure a fragment from a tribe of locals living high up in the mountains. Kaname closed the folder and looked at Kanda again.

_So close. So close to me. And yet…_

"I will expect you to be ready by eight in the evening. Air strip 42."

That was all and Kanda went on his way, hair dancing behind him as he walked. Kaname stood there and watched, well until he had gone out of sight.


	12. Invitation

**12 - Invitation**

* * *

Cochrane, Aisen, Chile was a quaint little municipality surrounded by green nature and snow-capped mountains – so the pictures in the mission details said. The flight from Paris had taken them 14 hours, and they'd arrived at 9 in the evening in Santiago, the capital. Naturally, Yuu Kanda's name and status as a General of the Black Order guaranteed them prime accommodations and transport for tomorrow's drive toward Cochrane.

Kaname's room was right next to Kanda's, and the vampire felt like he was doused with ice cold water when he realized his blood tablets were gone.

Depleted.

None left.

He drew back from his satchel, breath short. Kaname run a hand through his hair and looked around his room. This was bad. He had not been in such a tight fix since his preliminary training, when Kanda left him and his team up a mountain range in France and they had to fight for seven bento boxes for a week. Kanda had confiscated his blood tablets and Kaname had to toe the very limits of his existence then.

How could he have been so careless to not notice his blood tablets had run out? Was he such an emotional and mental mess that he was starting to forget very important things?

"Tch." Kaname hissed and went out to his balcony for a moment to look at the evening skyline of Santiago as it spread all around him. The night air bought him a myriad of scents, but always the scent of ordinary humans pervaded the air. There was one particular scent that Kaname was drawn to – the scent that was just so close, only a few feet from him, that which smelled of cold steel and lotus flowers…

He could last a maximum of one week without blood tablets. If worse came to worse he would have to approach Krory for the meantime and ask for help…Kaname felt a cold knot in his gut with the idea; though Arystar was his friend, the idea of owing him blood was brushing against Kaname's pride. The Kuran heir didn't like to owe blood if he could help it. If possible, over his dead body even. He should've remembered to drop by on Johnny in the Science Department. Damnit.

A knock on his door. Kaname turned his head, startled. He didn't ask for any room service, did he? Or was that another thing he forgot? Squaring his shoulders, he walked across the room and opened the door.

Yuu Kanda entered unceremoniously, a map and his own mission folder in his hands. Kaname stepped back.

"Since you're bumming around," the general said, glancing at him. "We might as well do something productive."

'_We'._

The general sat down on the floor and spread his world map. Kaname stood silently for a moment before following suit, folding his legs gracefully underneath him, his hands placed neatly on his lap.

Kanda's map was very accurate and filled with miniscule notes in kanji, a beautiful and graceful hand. Kaname knew that the man he adored was truly a deadly swordsman; a fine point of handling swords lay in wrist movements, and talented swordsmen were easily identifiable by their beautiful handwriting and exquisite calligraphy.

"You're probably wondering why I took you." Kanda explained without looking at him; from here Kaname could see his blank gray eyes focused on a particular region of Chile. "I need someone who can talk to people."

The pureblood blinked. "I'm sure being a general, you can talk to people quite well yourself." Kaname said, but it was an empty speculation. Kanda rarely talked to people at all; and it was mostly out of duty. He only talked to a handful of people outside work, and Kaname was not one of them….yet.

"The Finders have informed me this particular tribe seems to be a descendant of the Incas." Kanda went on, giving no indication that he heard Kaname's previous statement. "They're also cannibals, so we need to approach with caution." Pause. "Not that I can't kill them all off when the need arises." Kanda snorted. "Anyway. The fragment in question is one of the all-powerful seven fragments of Innocence the Heart created. It is a must that we acquire it before the Akuma start picking up its trail."

Kaname only nodded. He knew how messy a mission could get once Akuma swarmed and swarmed. They had to do this quickly. He had no blood tablets. The consequences would be terrible if he could not rein in his thirst in the middle of the field…

_Let's not think about that for now._

"There have been negotiations." Kanda was still speaking, but not looking at him. "We've lost a Finder, sadly. The chief thought he was a particularly tasty specimen of white meat." Kanda scowled and Kaname blinked. Then the general grunted and swept his hair over one shoulder, exposing his neck.

Kaname's breath caught. It was with conscious effort that Kaname tore his gaze from Kanda's form and onto the map.

"We will drive some 10 hours tomorrow to Cochrane. The advance team should be there waiting for us."

Again the pureblood only nodded. The proximity wasn't helping one bit. Kanda was just a tantalizing arm's length away. But Kaname knew it was a gap that was probably impossible to cross, even for him.

"Kuran, I'm leaving you extra information sheet. That will be all."

Kanda rolled up his map after leaving extra sheets of paper for Kaname to read. He rose fluidly, his hair dancing, a few locks trailing down his shirt, a definite contrast to the white cloth. Kaname found himself rising as well.

…

_I told Arystar I will endure everything, everything, as long as you are here…_

Abruptly he had the general in his arms. Kaname dared to bury his nose into those silken blue-black locks as he held Kanda close, close, almost crushing his mortal frame into himself – held him so close they could have melted into one. He was so frail, this near. Kaname could feel Time and Nature just skirting the edges of Kanda's life, already gnawing him into pieces with every passing day. Even his heartbeat seemed weaker. His hands were cold.

"Let go of me, son of a bitch." Kanda said quietly.

"Sorry, no." Kaname said, his eyes closed as he let that beloved scent flood his senses. "I won't. And I don't care if you hack me to pieces."

"Don't you have a mate waiting somewhere for you? Go back to her." Kanda said ruthlessly.

Kaname shook his head as he took Kanda's right hand in his own. "Your fingers are so cold. Like ice." He raised the fingers to his lips and kissed them.

"This is an infatuation and you know it." Kanda pushed. "What do you need? My blood?"

Again Kaname shook his head. "No. No. No. My need is beyond my thirst."

The raven-haired general gave a testy snort. "What? You want to fuck me?"

Kaname shook his head once more. "I may be a monster, but please don't reduce me to the level of an animal. What I feel for you is not an infatuation. What I feel for you is beyond any trivial need, be it by thirst or by flesh."

His words merited him a fist in the ribs. Stinging pain made Kaname let go and draw back, one eye closed as he had a hand over the area. Kanda left the room even before he could get another word out.

--

They drove to Cochrane in a sleek black Hummer H3T truck. Naturally Kanda took the wheel, leaving Kaname to silence in the passenger's seat as they drove out of Santiago and into the deep country.

…

He mostly spent the journey time looking out the window, eyes seeing nothing. What Kaname Kuran was aware of was the heartbeat and scent of the man beside him. Two things that he had grown to love in the span of two years that he spent in the Black Order.

In truth Kaname could not have asked for a better circumstance for the two of them. He would talk. Kanda would have to hear him out. They were alone and Kaname wanted to let every single messy thought out of his system if he could…and maybe find some answers for himself.

"Yuu."

Kanda didn't look at him, or even turn his head. Mountains, fields and trees flashed by them as the truck sped off toward their destination. The pureblood shifted a bit, letting his crimson eyes feast on the features of the raven-haired beauty beside him.

It was one of the most basic lessons of a vampire's education that he or she should never suffer attachment to a mortal. An aristocratic vampire could live for 800 years, while purebloods could live on and on, until the end of time. An attachment to a mortal who only had a handful of years to live could be deadly. Kaname had seen countless vampires fall to the charms of a human and saw how the deaths of their loved ones shattered their sanity and their very existence. He could remember the tears of blood that Shizuka Hio shed in that council assembly.

…

If he were to lose Yuu Kanda now, Kaname was sure he would go mad. The mere thought alone was enough to make breathing hard. And his feelings weren't even reciprocated.

Why were humans so destructive?

…

Kaname propped himself up on his left arm and leant forward, letting his lips rest on Kanda's cheek. The movement surprised the general and sent the truck careening wildly off the road with a loud screeching of wheels. Kanda stepped on the brakes hard and they skidded to a dusty halt. He turned his head in outrage, blue-black locks of hair dancing, and Kaname took full advantage of his chance.

He kissed Kanda again, his lips easily over the other's. The general gasped into the kiss, but Kaname moved again, one hand over Kanda's own on the wheel, their fingers twining. Kaname's free hand slipped into the strands of hair and came to rest at the back of Kanda's head, pulling him closer, making their breaths join together in a warm mist before their faces.

_I'm not letting you go. I'll be the stupidest creature on earth until you love me back!_

He felt Kanda part his lips for breath, but Kaname was not giving him that. He slid his tongue in, trespassing as deeply as he could and tasting every bit of Kanda that he could. The general gave a second, strangled gasp.

_I love you. I love you. I'll go mad if I lose you--_

Clack.

…

Kaname drew back, breathing hard, very much aware of the barrel of the gun that was pressed at his chest. Kanda was flushed, gray eyes bright with the indignity of it all. His hand never trembled as he held the gun, and Kaname knew it would be his death if he made a wrong move. For a moment only the sound of the two of them trying to find air pervaded the suddenly cramped and hot space of the truck.

…

But Kaname was never that obedient in the first place. He easily held the gun, pushing it a bit more into his chest.

"Shoot me, Yuu." He whispered. "Shoot me and rid yourself of the nuisance that I am."

Kanda's finger tightened on the trigger.

…

Kaname leant forward again and planted a soft kiss onto his lips.

--

_BANG!_

Crimson eyes widened as the window pane shattered by the gunshot, and the horrid stink of Akuma flooded Kaname's nostrils. He could hear the agonized scream of the Akuma as the specially-built bullet imbued with a bit of Innocence power melted into its body, destroying it ruthlessly from the inside.

"You're in the fucking way!" Kanda shouted as he shoved Kaname off.

Kanda was already out of the truck, and it was hell outside.

Two hundred level 2's, their numbers enough to shade some of the sun's rays. Kaname was out of the truck too and activated his own Innocence, the scythe easily forming into his hands.

_Hell's Blade._

Shadows wrapped the entire length and blade of his scythe as he wasted no time charging for the nearest Akuma he could reach. The pureblood spun his scythe viciously above his head and brought it down with force, sending a blast of dark energy that obliterated some twenty Akuma in one blow.

A flash of blue from the corner of his eyes told Kaname that Kanda was already dancing his lethal dance. He half-turned his head just as Kanda released the deadly swarm of his Kaichu Ichigen skill, obliterating a hundred Akuma in one slash of his blade. The gray, deformed insects did not disappear as soon as they destroyed their targets but instead soared for more.

He wasn't going to let Kanda kill everything, at least. Kaname spun his scythe again and seemed to trace a circle of shadows around himself.

_Hell's Gate._

The air above Kaname seemed to ripple just as a dimensional distortion appeared, a black hole leading to nothing, and mercilessly sucked in all of the remaining Akuma that had managed to fly from Kanda's swarm. The monsters all screamed in agony as the dimensional rift distorted their bodies, and then they were gone in this world. Kaname cancelled the skill by swinging his scythe down, the curved blade pointing to the ground.

Silence.

"Che. If the Akuma have expected me, it seems we're late. Move." Kanda snarled as he ran back to the truck and quickly brought it around. Kaname was instantly in his seat, and then they drove on, faster.

--

Even the village on the mountains had been obliterated, and there were no survivors. Kaname bowed his head in respectful silence as Kanda half-kneeled and took a fistful of the darkened soil. He was going to be sleepless again, mourning for his team, several names adding once more to the never-ending list in his head.

…

Kaname watched as Kanda straightened himself up, one hand ever-present on Mugen's hilt. There was nothing for them here. They were late. How many times had Kanda cursed the Science Department for their tardiness concerning teleportation technology?

…

His hand was trembling, so he put it into his pockets. He should not have used Hell's Gate during the attack. It only made his thirst worse. Kaname licked his own lips, but for all of it, he could feel them drying again. His fangs seemed to grow an extra millimeter every second.

_Not good._

Kanda turned on his heels and walked deeper into the sad ruin. Kaname did not follow; he was already busy trying to rein in his thirst. Seeing Johnny would be top priority once they got back. He could content himself with human food for now during the drive and the agonizing flight – or he could simply fly ahead back to Paris.

He stood there for an hour, waiting for Kanda.

_Wait._

His eyes turned bright red as the unmistakable scent of blood suddenly wafted in the air and invaded his system. Kaname was thrown off-guard as he looked wildly around. Still the tantalizing scent tempted him, seduced him, and increased the age-old thirst that raged within him.

…and it was getting near.

_What?_

Kanda had returned. His right hand had a vicious slash on it, and thick red drops of blood flowed from the cut, leaving a trail behind him and forming a pool by his boot heels when he'd stopped walking.

They stared at each other. Kaname felt his heart skip a beat when Kanda raised the bloody hand in invitation.

"Drink." Was all Kanda said, gray eyes showing nothing.


	13. The Deal

**13 - The Deal**

* * *

There was silence between them - that same impenetrable silence that struck Kaname ever since that deadly meeting in the Nameless, seemingly an age away now whenever he thought of it. He stood before this destructive gray-eyed beauty that had crashed into his life and threw everything in jumbles, leaving him alone and cold to pick up the pieces.

Kaname was sick with longing. It was wrong, it was terribly wrong, he knew it, but he couldn't do anything as he spiraled down into darkness whenever he looked into those eyes, whenever he brushed against that skin, whenever he felt those soft strands of blue-black hair through his fingers.

It seemed Shizuka Hio was determined to punish him. He was now in her shoes in a way, finding himself irresistibly and terribly in love with a mortal – a man, no less. The farther he went forward, the thicker the darkness around him swirled, and nothing existed, nothing, except this gray-eyed beauty that kept shrugging him off and walling him out, viciously.

…

Kanda raised his bloodied hand, his gray eyes showing nothing, nothing. He wasn't afraid of him. Oh, Kaname was sure. Yuu Kanda was not afraid of him primarily because he had no fear of death, or pain. He had nothing to fear, had seen everything there was to see in all of his short years as an exorcist. Kaname stepped back from the offered hand, the thirst raging up in him.

"Do you have any idea," he snarled as his eyes grew impossibly redder. "Of the consequences of what you are enticing me to do?"

This nineteen-year old man – no, boy – stood there as proud as he ever was, as devastatingly beautiful as when Kaname first saw him without anything to hide his face with. Still Kanda's bloody hand was raised, uplifted, palms curved inwardly to itself as if in supplication.

"What more can you do to me?" Kanda said.

Kaname hated him at that moment.

"I will never be afraid of someone like you." Kanda continued, taking the first step and fast closing the distance between them. "I, who have seen death and beyond? What are you but a mere speck in the vastness of death? I do not fear you."

The scent of blood was overpowering Kaname's senses. This near…he couldn't…

He took Kanda's hand as if it were something precious, and then raised it to his lips. His mouth closed over the cut on Kanda's palm, and Kaname drew blood, drew mouthfuls of it. The exorcist general watched him blankly, his heartbeat unchanging.

His blood was red and hot within Kaname's mouth, sliding down the vampire's throat easily, at the same time quenching and making his age-old thirst grow worse. The blood was thick and nourishing, filled with that rusty and tangy taste that all vampires recognized and loved. This exorcist's blood was something different entirely, though. It was sweet, inexplicably sweet, sweeter maybe than Yuuki's—

This pathetic trickle from a cut on the hand would not do.

Kaname pulled, and immediately had the exorcist in his arms, trapped in the deadly vampiric embrace. He easily tipped Kanda's head back and with his right hand brushed the strands of blue-black hair, exposing the seemingly frail and tender neck. Oh, he could see the veins and the arteries, all of their intricate networks working around this boy's body.

_I must not bite him. If I bite him, there will be no turning back--_

He swallowed his words anyway, with the torrent of blood that came when he sank his fangs into Kanda's neck. The gush of the red, red liquid came strong and fast, spilling around Kaname's lips even though he pressed close, close enough to make it seem like a harmless kiss on a lover's neck. Red trickles cascaded down Kanda's uniform, darkening the already black cloth, and down, down through the corners of Kaname's mouth.

And even then, despite it, Yuu Kanda's only reaction was a spasming of the hand. He raised his hand to grasp a handful of Kaname's hair, seemingly pulling him closer. Kaname had no intentions of letting go; his eyes were at their reddest and he drank, drank, drank like there was no tomorrow. They stayed twined like vines for what seemed like ages. Kaname felt his thirst being satisfied, but still he drew blood, drew that sweet raging river of redness selfishly, voraciously.

Yuu Kanda's heartbeat never changed.

_He should be dying now. I'm sucking him dry, this is impossible--_

But the heartbeat so close to Kaname's own never once faltered in its steady, rhythmic thumps.

_He's not stopping me. He's letting me drink--_

It was with great effort that Kaname drew away, tipping his own head back as he licked his mouth clean. He felt like a drunken man.

"You…"

Kanda was standing straight like nothing happened. He was noticeably paler as he clutched a hand to his neck, but he was alive, very much alive. Kaname raised a hand and wiped his lips with the back of it.

"The bite of a pureblood…" He tried to talk. "You're damned…"

Kanda only gave an amused grunt. The hand came away from his neck, and there was no trace of Kaname's teeth marks at all. Even the hand was healed. "Don't worry. My Innocence is far too convenient for any of your vampire trivialities."

_Impossible. Is he saying that he won't change?_

"Mugen has nulled whatever it is that your fangs contain."

The exorcist turned on his heels and walked down the mountain path. Kaname quickly followed him, grabbing his wrist.

"Wait. Listen to me--."

Blank gray eyes met crimson ones.

"What."

"I…"

_No turning back…_

"I want you…"

_This is crazy…_

"I want you as my lover--!"

Yuu Kanda only blinked. And then gave a roaring laughter as he snatched his wrist away. Kaname watched him laugh, each sound mocking him, each "Ha!" tearing him from within, sending ripples of indefinable pain through his being.

"All right." Yuu Kanda said, smirking at him. "I will be your lover…"

Kaname felt his heart skip a beat. _Ah--_

"But only if you discard all other mates you have." Kanda said, viciously. "I will not tolerate any competition."

…

His thoughts strayed to Yuki. Yuki, his sister and fiancée, and their upcoming wedding--

Wait. What wedding? He was already an entire year late for any wedding…

But still…

Discard Yuki?

The corners of Yuu Kanda's lips curled up in grim satisfaction. "Well then. Discard your mate, and I will be yours."

Kaname felt strangely weak.

"Do that and you have a deal."

Kanda was already walking again. Kaname clenched his fists.

_Discard my mate, huh._

Wind gathered around the pureblood as he shot up to the air, gaining thousands of feet in altitude in one jump.

_I can do that. I will do that. For you._

--

Takuma Ichijou was amazed with himself. It had been two years and six months since Kaname Kuran had suddenly left Cross Academy, leaving all issues and problems for him to handle. He had mobilized the Night Class since to use whatever connections they had to try and find Kaname, but all efforts seemed futile until some eight months ago.

A small news sifted from the vampire hunters' network told them of a man who looked a lot like Kaname sighted in Yamoussoukro, Ivory Coast, wielding a strange scythe wrapped in shadows and chasing monsters called 'Akuma' with a kid whose body was harder than a rock. Ichijou had then done his research. Like all vampires he knew about the Akuma, beings created from trapped souls of departed loved ones it seemed. They were created by one creature called Earl Millennium, that even the purebloods did not dare talk about.

Akuma were hunted by Exorcists, a group of specially trained men and women with special powers given by fragments called 'Innocence'. With Aido's help it was easy to find the Black Order's webpage, but the site did not disclose pictures or information about its members. When Aido and Kain tried to hack it, they found their computers exploding in their faces.

Ichijou held onto that tiny news as he sought to keep Kaname's disappearance under wraps from the council's nose. But so long, he was running out of excuses already. His grandfather would surely have his head--

With a sigh Ichijou pulled the blanket above his head, his mind already working, planning on how to survive the next evening without Kaname. Controlling the Night Class was like hitting himself with a mallet on the head every night. It was a nightmare. Without Kaname's presence, Ichijou felt like he would go chase a vampire hunter soon and ask to have his heart stabbed or his head chopped off. So much for peace of mind.

_Keep the council at bay. Work on 5 new projects. Review Maria-chan in Math. Give the two newcomers a tour. Yes…this evening…_

Ichijou's eyelids fluttered low, the familiar vampiric languor already creeping up his consciousness.

_So many things to do…I feel like I'm growing bald…_

Abruptly golden eyes snapped open. Ichijou sat up, threw his blankets away and fought the heaviness that already started on his limbs. He fell out of bed, but he quickly forced himself up, running barefooted from his room, careening down the stairs--

_Shit. Shit. Is he back? Is he back? DAMN YOU KANAME KURAN I'LL HIT YOU WITH A FRYING PAN ON THE HEAD FOR THIS—_

"KANAME?"

Ichijou grasped at the kitchen doors. The force of his grip made the door frame crack.

"Ichijou. Ohayo."

It was Kaname, all right. The pureblood was wearing the Night Class uniform, sitting on the kitchen counter with a mug of hot chocolate. It was as if he had never left at all--

Ichijou immediately pulled up a chair and flopped down on it. He shook his head several times to get rid of the accursed drowsiness. Kaname watched him with a flicker of amusement in his own crimson eyes as he drank his chocolate in small, neat sips.

"How are you?" Kaname asked.

"Do you really need to ask?" Ichijou answered faintly. "Where the hell were you? Everyone was panicking when you left, your wedding – Yuki was so distraught -!"

"Ah." Kaname said sadly, lowering his mug. "The wedding. Yes."

Silence.

"Kaname, you know…you don't…" Ichijou tried as he slapped himself to keep awake. "You don't have to--."

"KANAME-SAMA?"

Kaname turned his head, small smile already on his lips. "Hello everyone. Good morning."

The Night Class was awake now and had swarmed over to the kitchen. Ruka was immediately by Kaname's knees, crying her eyes out on his lap. Aido and Kain stood at either side of Kaname, with Seiren behind them.

"I am so sorry for leaving." Kaname said plainly as he had a hand on Ruka's head. He turned his head toward Aido. "Aido, would you be so kind to toast me some bread with a bit of butter on it? Thank you."

If Aido found Kaname's instructions strange, he did not show it. He squeezed his way through the other members of the class as he went to the fridge for the said foodstuffs. There was silence as Aido moved around the kitchen. Kaname just sat there, patting Ruka's head as the woman's sobs slowly quieted down into small sniffles.

_DING._

"Here, Kaname-sama."

"Thank you." Kaname took the piece of bread and bit into it. He ate his meal in silence, unmindful of how the Night Class watched him. The bread done with, he downed the rest of his chocolate and gave a small appreciative smack of his lips. He peered down at Ruka. "Ruka, I'm going to stand now. Please move."

"Yes." Said Ruka as she wiped her eyes and gracefully lifted herself up on her feet. Kaname rose after, easily towering over her. He gave her another pat on the head.

"Everyone, please go to your well-deserved sleep. Don't let me keep you." Kaname said. "I won't go to sleep just yet. I must talk to the Chairman. Again, good morning."

Kaname easily slipped out of the kitchen afterwards. Ichijou, like the rest of the class, watched him go in silence.

_What the hell is going on?_

--

It was the most peaceful sleep Ichijou had in two years. He woke up easily at four in the afternoon, feeling refreshed as if waking from a doze after a day's hard work. He dressed for class and easily went downstairs, where everyone was already gathered.

Kaname was sitting down at the couch. Ichijou blinked at him.

"Hey. Did you even sleep?"

He was answered with a small smile. "Not yet."

Wait. What?

Footsteps from upstairs. Oh dear. Ichijou blinked as Yuki came flying down the stairs.

"KANAME!"

She hugged him from behind, already sobbing into his shoulder. Ichijou had to use lots of self-control in order not to sigh.

"I was so worried! I had to postpone the wedding! Where were you? You never answered our e-mails, we couldn't reach your phone! Oh, Kaname--!"

Kaname easily rose, prying himself loose from Yuki's grip. Ichijou held his breath.

_Here goes—_

"The wedding is off." Kaname said, giving Yuki a glance and a pat on the head.

_Ouch._

"O-oh." Yuki said. "Well, I suppose we can always move it on December – I can still make arrangements…" She smiled at Kaname. She obviously didn't get the point.

"No, Yuki." Kaname said blankly. "The wedding is off. There will be no wedding. I will not marry you."

Ichijou took that as his cue. "All right, everyone. Let's go to class."

He ushered the Night Class out of the Moon Dorm's doors. He didn't look back even as he heard Yuki's shrill cries.

--

_Discard your mate, and I will be yours._

It had been two months since the bloodsucking son a bitch finally went away. Kanda knew it would end the ridiculous infatuation the vampire had for him. Nobody sane would dare discard a mate. Vampires were ridiculously loyal, so Lavi's books say. Besides, who would be insane enough to go for him?

Nobody would ever understand Yuu Kanda. Nobody would ever understand how it was to wake up every day, knowing your life was timed and there was nothing you could do about it. Nobody. Nobody, damn it.

The vampire had been unnerving him for months on end already prior to that dare he sprouted. Kaname Kuran was persistent, ridiculously persistent, thinking he could shatter Kanda's walls and go where nobody else had managed. Kanda remembered how the freaking idiot would just barge in on his room to stare at him and ask him ridiculous questions. He remembered how the bastard would dare join his table in the cafeteria, when not even Lavi nor bean sprout Allen could sit by him.

Kanda seethed with rage every time he remembered the very first time Kaname Kuran had dared to kiss him. It was a light brush of lips against his, but even then, Kaname Kuran got stabbed with Mugen plus a kick in the face, with parasitic-type strength in it. He was in the infirmary for days.

Well now, life would finally stop being weird for Kanda. He had finally gotten rid of his vampire stalker. He would carry on being an Exorcist until Mugen decided it was time for him to go. He didn't need distractions of this sort. He didn't need anything, or anyone. Emotions would only ruin him. He had long learned that the hard way.

_I do love you._

Kanda snorted and shook his head whenever he remembered that statement from Kaname Kuran. Love him? Who was he kidding? The bloodsucking son of a bitch didn't even know him that well. Kaname was infatuated with him, and disgusted Kanda to no end. What irked him the most was that how dare the fucker, how _dare_ him, to mock Yuu Kanda. He needed no confirmation from Lavi to know that vampires were immortal, much less someone of Kaname's status. How _dare_ the fucker rub it in on his face that he had nothing but a scrap of a time left to live?

And yet, despite himself, Kanda was frightened when the vampire told him about love. He didn't need emotions. Linali's death had shattered him. She'd died not knowing how he truly felt about her, primarily because he was such a retard he never could tell her. It was a brush against love that Kanda did not want to experience again. And now here comes along the fucker…

The fucker was gone now. Good riddance. He could finally shut himself up in his room in peace, with no worries that a retard would go barging in once in a while to ask him about his hobbies and how he kept his hair beautiful. Che.

He rounded the corner and walked down the corridor heading for the Missions Department. It was time to give his teams a new To-Do list.

_Maybe I'll send Ross to partner with Leone Marcus this time. They can take care of the Brazilian camp for me. As for Rain…_

Kanda stopped dead when a familiar figure exited the doors of the Missions Department. Fuck, he recognized that layered dark brown hair, that pale complexion, those crimson eyes. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Kaname raised his gaze and turned. Too late to run now. Kanda was rooted to the spot.

"Ah…I was looking for you."

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What is he doing here? He should be gone. Didn't I send him away? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Kaname came to a stop before him. He was wearing his Exorcist uniform, his choker with his Innocence pendant on his neck. Kanda's hands clenched into fists at his side. He couldn't dare look up into those crimson eyes.

_Shit. Something's wrong. He should not be here. I sent him away._

"Why aren't you happy to see me?"

Kanda almost cringed when he felt Kaname's hand catch a fistful of his hair. Kanda watched, silent as a rock, as Kaname raised the handful of his hair to his nose.

"I missed you, lover."

_Shit. Shit. No way--_

The strands of blue-black hair fell as Kaname released them. The hand found his neck, and easily caressed up his face to finally cup his cheek. Kaname's crimson eyes had never looked so red, this close.

"We have a deal, I hope you remember." Kaname went on. "You're mine, now."

_Shit. Have I miscalculated somewhere? Impossible. I don't miscalculate--_

All of Kanda's hysteric thoughts were cut off when Kaname's lips closed over his own. The pureblood pulled him close, crushing him into a hug, one arm around his waist, while Kaname's other hand held the back of his neck securely as he claimed his lips like there was no other chance for kissing. Kanda could hear his own heart pounding. He couldn't even protest as Kaname deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue inside. Kanda's right hand flew to Kaname's shoulder. Blood. Kanda tasted blood.

_Shit. No--_

Kaname broke the kiss, closing his eyes and bringing his forehead against Kanda's. His arm remained twined around the Exorcist's waist. His other arm joined the first. Kanda was trapped.

"You're warm, lover, delightfully warm."

_Shit._

_Shit._

_Shit._

_SHIT._


	14. Lovers

**14 - Lover**

* * *

Zero knew that there was something amiss. He and Yuki went through ugly things together with Kaname Kuran, and he had resigned himself that she would never be his and was just getting a move on until now. Cross Academy was shaken when one evening; Kaname Kuran led the Night Class to the classrooms just like two years before, like there was nothing wrong in the world.

One glance was enough to tell Zero though, that Kaname Kuran was not the same vampire that he knew. For one, Kaname now had this distinct fluidity in his movements. He was, if possible, deadlier than before. He also had this distinct scent around him – a scent only ex-human vampires could recognize – the scent of the sun.

It was wildly impossible, yet Zero trusted his vampiric senses. Kaname Kuran could now walk in daylight.

He observed the evening classes thoroughly. Kaname Kuran looked terribly bored with the proceedings and seemed always restless. He was often looking out the window, his eyes absent and distant. Zero knew that the pureblood had talked to Chairman Cross, but whatever it was they talked about, the Chairman was not telling. Damnit.

He wondered how Yuki took to everything. Surely Kaname would have explained, right? Explained that he didn't love her anymore…

Abruptly Kaname Kuran left again, to god-knows-where. It was then that Yuki came to his dormitory one evening, crying her eyes out.

…Zero knew he could not refuse this time. She told him (with a great deal of tears), that Kaname had told her he'd had had enough, and that he didn't love her anymore, didn't want her anymore, and that they were through. Zero already knew that and kept quiet. But his heart was breaking, yet again, as he saw Yuki like this. Cheerful, sweet Yuki, reduced to a crying and sniveling mess.

He had always known damned purebloods knew only to toy with others' emotions. The elder Kiryuu felt his age-old rage against Kaname Kuran awaken as he held the sobbing Yuki in his arms.

"I'll help you find the truth, Yuki." He'd assured her, knowing full well Ichiru might go berserk on him for making such a stupid decision. "And I'll help you find this person. You just hold on, all right? You just hold on. You just hold on for me."

--

The melody of the bamboo flute called to him from the open window, an invitation, the flux of the notes both shrill and not combined to this music that reminded one of coming rain. Kaname had just come from the last day of his provisional punishment for being Away Without Official Leave for two months. The window ledge came easily up with a push from his hand, and the pureblood slipped out of the window.

Yuu was on his chunk of the rooftop, sitting up, eyes closed and playing the flute. His hair was loose and danced with the wind, the sight making Kaname smile and blush. He approached his lover, his footsteps making no sound, but always, always, Yuu Kanda sensed him and automatically stopped playing as he opened his eyes and turned his head.

"Bonjour," Kaname greeted, sitting down beside his beloved and giving him a kiss. During the brief seconds that their lips touched, he felt Yuu tense, his walls thickening, his lower lip trembling, the tiniest of movements. Kaname drew back and took a moment to stare into those gray eyes.

They were both quiet. It had been two weeks since Kaname Kuran returned to the Black Order, and six days since Supervisor Komui yelled at him like the devil himself and assigned him provisional punishment for an AWOL offense. Kaname trudged through the most menial chores and most boring missions the Order had to offer, but trudge through it the vampire did. It didn't matter.

Two weeks.

Two weeks of being lovers.

And yet, Yuu Kanda was still the stubborn, rock-headed enigma that he was. He volunteered no information about himself, and Kaname was at a loss of what to actually ask. He could not give Yuu flowers nor chocolates, could not ask him out on a date (very probably the man would stab him), and every time he tried to talk, the conversation always ended up hanging.

Kaname wondered if 'lovers' was an applicable term to the two of them. Sure, they kissed a lot (Kaname made sure he kissed Yuu every damn chance he could get), but as for the other aspects, they stood at ground zero.

They stared at the horizon, barely glimpsing Clermont Ferrand. The silence grew.

…

"You smell like shit." Yuu spoke, softly.

"Well," Kaname managed a small laugh. "I had to clean the--"

"I don't need to hear it." Yuu snapped.

…

Again the conversation trailed off to awkward silence. Kaname sighed.

"For a lover, you're terribly sweet." He said.

The other man snorted in derision. "If you're expecting that namby-pamby sweet_fuck_ nonsense here, look somewhere else, and you're more than welcome to, son of a bitch."

Things hadn't changed at all. Yuu still hated him with all that he was. Kaname had been hoping for some improvement, but he could see nothing. He was still faced with a dead end. The same damned dead end he had been trying to get past through ever since he threw everything behind and followed Yuu all the way here.

He couldn't give up. He was one step closer to making Yuu Kanda love him, and even though he still had a long way to go, he was still a step closer. That in itself was a big achievement.

Kaname let the silence extend. Yuu had not played his flute again, just sat there letting the wind make his hair dance. The pureblood glanced at him every now and then.

"What am I to you, Yuu?" Kaname asked, from out of nowhere.

The answer was prompt. "My lover."

Kaname Kuran gave a bitter smile. "Some lover you are then. You still treat me as if I'm filth sticking to your shoes."

Yuu didn't answer, though Kaname knew what the words were without their need to be said.

'_Of course you're still some piece of shit that's still sticking to my shoe!'_ _…is that it, Yuu? Am I still so insignificant?_

"I'm thirsty, lover." Kaname said.

Crimson eyes met winter gray orbs.

"Then drink." Yuu said.

_Tch._

"Come here, lover, and let me drink from you." Kaname pushed.

Yuu gave him a dirty look before falling on all fours and crawling toward him. Kaname watched in silence, his own face blank, as Yuu sat himself on his lap and swept his hair from his neck.

_So close. So close to me. Yet…_

Kaname shifted a bit, curling his arms around Yuu's waist as he pulled the other closer. The pureblood took his time wallowing in the other's scent before licking Yuu's neck slowly, letting his tongue tingle as the other's taste danced on it. He felt Yuu move and rest his hands onto his shoulders. Kaname bit hard and deep, the blood spurting out, hot and rusty, to spill into his waiting mouth.

He drank slowly, wanting the moment to last for as long as he could. It was the only closeness he could afford right now; the only chance he could feel Yuu Kanda's warmth, the only chance he could take in that scent of cold steel and lotus flowers. The only chance he could go beyond a kiss. The closest he could get to making love…

"Hurry up goddamn it." Yuu hissed somewhere above him.

Two mouthfuls were all that Kaname drank. No matter what Yuu thought, he was still his lover, and he didn't consider his lover mere food. For a vampire to drink blood was not just for sustenance; in other consideration it was a way of strengthening attachment and claim onto another vampire or human. Marking territory, some would say, only in this context, it would be more appropriate as marking a lover.

He licked Yuu's neck clean and planted a soft kiss onto the bite area. He didn't let go though, and kept the raven-haired man kneeling in between his legs.

"I love your warmth," Kaname said, burying his nose onto Yuu's chest, enjoying the feeling of those strands of blue-black hair against his cheeks and eyes. "Though your hands are abnormally cold."

No answer.

Kaname looked up and found Yuu peering down at him. The other's seemingly ageless face was blank as it ever was, eyes showing no emotion, no hint of any blush on pale cheeks. Kaname had to crane his neck a bit to be able to kiss Yuu, his lips over the other's.

…

It was the tiniest of movements as he felt Yuu respond to the kiss, a small puckering of the lips that rested against his. Kaname moved closer, pulling Yuu into his arms more as he deepened the kiss they shared. Yuu parted his lips, and Kaname was quick to take up the invitation; he let his tongue slide in and taste everything that he could. Kaname pulled away in a moment and bit the other's lower lip gently.

…

"Kanda? Kanda are you up here?"

Yuu was quickly away from his arms and sitting where he had been moments ago. Allen Walker's familiar head soon popped out from the trapdoor and blinked at the two of them. Kaname managed a smile that hid his frustration, and a small salute.

"General Walker." The vampire greeted.

Allen gave him a grin before spotting Kanda. The boy heaved himself up and marched over to the raven-haired man.

"Komui's looking for you." Allen said, hands on his waist.

"What does that fucker want now?" Yuu snapped.

"I dunno," Allen replied. "Might be a new mission."

"It better be fucking important if he's sending a fellow general to do the summoning for him." That was all and the raven-haired beauty disappeared back inside. Allen Walker stayed behind, blinking.

"Bonding with your general, eh?" He grinned at Kaname. "Discussing missions?"

"Yes," Kaname replied. "I still can't get over my failure back in Chile…"

General Walker moved closer and patted his head as if he were the younger one.

"Remember, Xanders?" Allen Walker said softly. "Exorcists cannot afford attachments. An attachment is deadly for us. An attachment can be exploited by the Earl, and a single exploitable weakness can lead to the suffering or death of countless many."

…Kaname was not in a place to argue to such a hard-hitting statement, so he kept quiet.

"What's this?" Allen Walker grinned. "Why the long face? Tell you what – join the singing later, okay? We're going to let everyone wind up since it's the weekend. Free drinks delivered from Paris! You _must_ dance and sing while you're at it too!"

Kaname could only nod. He had long learned that arguing against General Walker was like hitting yourself with a rock on the head.

"Awesome, so we'll see you later. I better get back to my in-tray. God, it's always a disaster, you know, I swear we need a pay raise…"

The white-haired general also went back inside, scratching his head with a talon of his own Innocence as he went. Kaname watched him briefly before turning back to the horizon.

--

General Allen was true to his word concerning the unwinding and free drinks that evening. The cafeteria was darkened, the long tables pushed back along the walls and Komui even had disco lights installed. Laser and neon light flashed as people danced and drank.

Kaname was sitting with his teammates (yes, even Ross Oswald was there, though the boy was only supplied with a soda and was surprisingly well behaved – he only bopped his head to the music and watched with polite interest). Rain was already drunk; the girl was swaying from left to right as she grinned giddily into thin air.

The pureblood looked at his glass of vodka then turned to Ross.

"Take care of her," he instructed the boy as he stood up and left his glass on the table.

"Poyoo." Ross said, easily looking out for the swaying Rain. "Good night, Xandews!"

Kaname managed a small smile as he slipped away from the party before General Walker or Supervisor Komui could spot him and make him dance. Unlike Senri and Rima, he was no real partygoer and could only dance the waltz, the pavane and the tango.

Besides, he needed to see Yuu.

The hallways and corridors of the Black Order were silent; nearly everyone was downstairs for the weekender General Lavi had organized. In the upper floors Kaname loved the quiet and the solitude. He soon found himself standing outside Yuu's room. The soft, white light seeped from under the door. Kaname didn't bother knocking; he just went inside.

Always, the lotus and the hourglass greeted his eyes. He stared at it for a moment, unable to get rid of a strange sinking feeling in his gut as his gaze inevitably landed on those wilted petals at the base. He then looked around and realized that Yuu was gone.

Lips parted, Kaname went inside the room. His lover was not there; Yuu had gone on to a mission in China, leaving quietly when everyone was looking the other way, intoxicated with Lavi's drinks and food. He left no note, not even for Kaname.

…

The pureblood also realized there was no way to contact his lover. Yuu had never given him his mobile number, nor e-mail address. The thought made Kaname clench his hands into fists briefly.

_Tch._

There was nothing to it, then. He would have to wait again until Yuu came back, and hope that his lover would return quickly and with no injuries. They needed to talk about this. Yuu would very probably be a thousand miles away already, asleep in his own private airplane…

Kaname gave a start just as a sixth petal fell off from the lotus flower. He watched in silence as the petal descended, almost taking an eternity to reach the bottom. His crimson eyes saw distinctly how the petal lost all of its color and wilt right before his very eyes, transforming from a pink thing into a brown piece of sludge.

His heart skipped a beat, and he wished he knew why.


	15. Name

**15 - Name**

* * *

When Akatsuki Kain got the phone call from Kaname, the vampire was immediately up and about even though the vampiric languor was still heavy in his system. He listened carefully to every softly-spoken instruction Kaname spoke from the other end of the line, nodding now and then and confirming with a "Yes" or "Got it". Kain moved carefully in the dormitory room he shared with Hanabusa Aido, his cousin, making sure not to wake the other vampire.

Kaname-sama didn't trust Aido with this thing. Truth be told, he only trusted two people – Kain and Seiren, his most loyal, for this job.

It didn't come as a shock when Kaname-sama had summoned them to his rooms, two days after he got back from his two-year absence. He told them, in simple terms, that he had a new lover, and that this lover was mortal and an Exorcist, just like himself. He explained why he had been gone – that Innocence had reacted to his presence, and that there was nothing they could all do about it – unless they wanted Akuma on the heads of every student in the Cross Academy. A noble-class vampire could only handle up to a Level 2 Akuma, after all.

Kain knew then that this was serious business. A pureblood of Kaname-sama's status to be attracted to a mortal was possibly one of the greatest taboos ever listed by the vampire court. Kaname-sama was not exactly popular with the council himself, what with his run-ins concerning Zero Kiryuu, his sister Yuki Kuran, and most importantly, against his uncle, Rido.

What Kain and Seiren didn't expect though, was when Kaname told them that his lover was a man. Even Seiren blinked and looked like she had misheard. Himself, Kain could not remember what his expression might have been. He did recall that Kaname-sama smiled gravely at the two of them and asked them in his most serious tone if he still had their loyalty.

They said yes, to the death.

Kaname-sama had smiled then. "What I'm asking you to do is very simple." He'd said. "I want you to watch over Yuu when I can't be with him. That man is forever careless with himself; he is not afraid of death. I worry about him every day, and when the Black Order sends him away, I worry about him double-time. I will inform you two whenever he is sent out, and I want you to keep close – but not too close. He is a dangerous man, my love, and he will kill you two easily if you give him reason to."

They were to not make their presence known at all times, nor were they allowed to help if this person, this Yuu Kanda, got into any fight. They would just watch and made sure he was safe.

He and Seiren were both quiet as they exited Kaname-sama's rooms. He broke the quiet first.

"A mortal." He'd said. "And a man, to boot."

Seiren only nodded. "Yes."

Kain had run a hand through his short-cropped, copper hair. "This is serious."

Seiren had stopped walking and gave him a rare smile. "Yes, but did you notice?"

"Huh? Notice what?"

"Kaname-sama's eyes." Seiren said. "I have never seen him look so interested in life for more than a hundred years."

Kain could not answer. She was right, of course. Kaname's circle had grown up together with him, and they all knew that bored, faraway look in his crimson eyes. Not even Yuki Kuran had managed to dispel that disinterested look. Nobody ever did. Until now.

"As long as Kaname-sama is happy." Seiren continued. "He must really love this Yuu Kanda very much."

Sighing, Kain gave a resigned shrug and nodded. "As long as Kaname-sama is happy."

--

They soon found themselves in Xian, China. They kept a safe and polite distance of three kilometers, but they had already caught tantalizing glimpses of the mortal that caught Kaname Kuran's heart in those three days of silent guard duty.

Seiren said – and Kain just had to agree – that this Yuu Kanda was unusually beautiful for a mortal. He could easily outshine Senri or even Kaname-sama himself if he got out of that stifling and terribly formal uniform he wore. The man journeyed around with two other people who wore another kind of uniform, a sort of all-white trench coat with a hood.

From Xian they moved around China a lot. They went to Zhengzhou, to Beijing, to Jinan and finally to Anhui. It was where Seiren and Kain first saw what sort of monsters Kaname had to fight for the Black Order.

Kain couldn't stand the stink of the Akuma. The unbelievable, overpowering stench of decay that suddenly invaded his nostrils made him pale, his gut twisting violently in him. He quickly felt nauseous and had to throw up twice before he could get a hold of himself. Seiren was stronger in this aspect; the woman's eyes only watered and she gasped for a breath of fresh air. Still they pushed on, careful not to lose Yuu Kanda too much.

They watched as the man fought easily, defending not only the hooded people who were with him, but what populace of that part of Anhui that he could from the twisted, distorted monsters created by tragedy and grief. His dual swords glowed blue, a sharp kind of light and a mysterious power. He fought alone, in the deadly grace of a dance. The battle didn't last long; it was a short fight, despite the swarm of those Akuma that came. Kain found himself whistling.

"That sword will kill us in one slash, huh?" he'd asked Seiren. She only nodded in answer, making him whistle some more.

_Shit, what kind of mortal is this?_

Disaster struck when Yuu Kanda took his small team to Wuhan.

The enemy this time was not a stinking, distorted monster. The enemy this time, who appeared out of nowhere with a swarm of odd, purple butterflies, was a…creature. Though he bore the semblance of a man Kain knew he was not human – this person who had gray skin and seven crosses on his forehead.

The battle nearly destroyed the city and killed countless people. Kain and Seiren both had to draw away before the scent of blood and burning flesh could drive them out of their wits. They moved, but not too far. They were here to do their duty after all. Kaname Kuran gave them a job, and they were going to do it.

By the time the creature with the crosses on his forehead and his purple butterflies was gone (he had an arm chopped off and looked close to death himself), Yuu Kanda was half-kneeling alone in the middle of the most devastated part of what had been Wuhan. He was bleeding terribly and looked close to dying. When he fell face-forward, it was where Kain and Seiren decided to step in.

The man's team was wiped out. Kain easily hefted him up (this close even Kain felt uncomfortable; the man still terribly, unusually pretty even though his face was half-covered with blood) and rushed him to the nearest standing hospital. Yuu Kanda was unmoving but Kain was awfully aware that the man was conscious. Or was trying to keep himself conscious. Either way, it looked like trouble.

Kain and Seiren were gone, like morning mist, after they made sure Yuu Kanda was safe.

--

Kaname had not done any AWOL offense this time. He was part of the team that was sent to Yuu's aid, along with an ambassador, four Finders and of course, Ross and Rain. Rain had accompanied the ambassador to Beijing, while Ross and the other Finders were already talking to the officials of the city. He was also supposed to help, but his first priority was his lover.

Kain and Seiren had kept him updated always, with every move from every city, with every opponent Yuu had fought. When he'd received Seiren's message that Yuu had encountered a Noah, he had to toe the limits of self-control not to go out and fly to China right then and there.

Yuu had a room to himself, and when Kaname entered, the man was already sitting up, reading a book. He was pale, but luckily had no machine or any IV sticking to his body. He didn't look up even when Kaname closed the door.

…

The pureblood pulled up one of the two chairs in the room and sat down. Yuu looked fine. No broken bones, no visible scars…

"Yo." Kaname said, just for the sake of breaking the silence.

"Bloodsucker." Kanda said, without looking up.

"Oh?" Kaname replied. "You look fine."

"I heal instantly. At least, I used to heal instantly." Yuu glanced at him and had a hand around his middle. Tyki Mikk had managed to slip in three Teez into his system. "Whatever your fang contains is addling with my healing."

"…yes, that's a nice skill." Kaname said softly as he took a single blood pill and popped it into his mouth.

There was silence; the only sound was the sound of Yuu flipping a page of his book, a collection of Baudelaire's poems.

"Did you send people to tail me?"

Kaname's face was neutral. He made no answer. Yuu shut his book with a snap and glared at him.

…

"Understand this, Kaname Kuran." He said quietly. "I am not a fucking invalid, and I fucking HATE it when I'm treated as one."

He had never seen nor sensed such anger and resentment from Yuu Kanda before.

"I AM NOT FUCKING WEAK, GODDAMN IT!" Yuu shouted. "YOU WILL TELL THEM TO STOP TAILING ME OR I WILL KILL THEM!"

Kaname rose and kissed him. He kept their lips together until Yuu visibly relaxed. He drew away slowly.

"Forgive me. I will tell them." He said.

…

Why was he so angry? Kaname knew he was a proud man, but this…

"Who are you in my life, Yuu?" the question came from nowhere.

But the general was already reading his book again. Kaname sighed and snatched it out of his hands and threw it out the open window.

"Che -! You--!"

"Are you my lover or what?" Kaname said. "If you don't love me, do not be my lover."

Yuu only stared at him. Kaname stared back, feeling the odd pain in his chest again.

"How affectionate can you get, Yuu Kanda? Hell, you have to sacrifice something."

The silence extended again.

"I don't know." Yuu answered. "I've never been through anything like this before."

_Never…?_

He had a hand on his lover's shoulder, crimson eyes meeting gray ones easily. "Tell me, not once?"

"Once." Yuu said. "I was too stupid to tell her. She died even before she knew."

Kaname felt his lips part. "Her…?"

"A girl." Yuu said, with a touch of bitterness. "A fellow Exorcist. Killed by Rhode Kamelot, in front of me." Pain. There was a flicker of pain in those eyes. Kaname remembered the picture of the girl in Komui's study.

--

They returned to France two days later. General Lavi had left HQ again with Arystar Krory and Miranda Lotte, while General Allen Walker had gone off to the Australian branch to stay there for some months. It was a quiet come back; Yuu had filed everything that needed to be filed, went to Hevlaska and a visit to the Head Nurse.

Kaname was already waiting in Yuu's room, basking in the hourglass' gentle light as he sat on his lover's bed. The door opened and Yuu entered. He still looked perturbed every time he saw him there.

They mostly just stared at each other for the first few minutes. Kaname rose and pulled the raven-haired beauty into his arms. The soft light that the hourglass gave seemed to accentuate Yuu's sharp, sharp eyes. The way the shadows seemed to obscure half of his face, and the way his hair danced from blue to black and back.

…

He wasted no time with words. He kissed Yuu deeply, his hand gripping his lover's right shoulder hard. As the kiss deepened, Kaname held more tightly, and in an audible crunch, the shoulder cracked.

"Ah!" Yuu exclaimed softly.

With a hiss directed more to himself Kaname drew away and looked at the shoulder under the pale light that the hourglass offered. "Is it dying?" he asked softly.

Yuu stared at him with an unreadable expression. There was a second crunching sound as his shoulder moved and healed itself. "No. I got my head blown off once. I'm still alive. Mugen is too convenient." He replied, just as quietly.

His Innocence…it stopped him from turning into a vampire, despite three bites from Kaname already. The pureblood's eyes wandered, for a split second, to the hourglass that illuminated them both. What was it, this pretty thing that told of Time and yet not? What Time was it telling about? Where did it come from, and why did Yuu have it…?

Kaname shook his head, laughing quietly. He pulled Yuu again and resumed with the kiss. Yuu kissed him back, though this time hesitantly, tentatively. For the first time Kaname could sense that Yuu Kanda was uncertain about something. He felt Yuu's right hand move up and rest on his collar.

There was something different that evening.

Kaname loved this warmth. This warmth, this strength, this scent, this figure in his arms, those strands of blue-black hair against his skin…

Their lips were hot and moist against the other's. And then…the faintest hint of a blush graced Yuu Kanda's cheeks.

…

Kaname's free hand found Yuu's other shoulder, and still locked in the kiss, he steered the two of them toward the bed. Slowly, slowly, he pushed Yuu down, down, onto the sheets, his hair spilling around him like ink.

Abruptly they broke the kiss. They were silent, silent as they always were, eyes open and staring.

…

Kaname lowered himself, and his lips found Yuu's neck. He did not bite this time. Instead he showered the skin with soft, tiny kisses as he moved slowly atop the other man, his weight on his arms and knees. He loved the feel of Yuu this close, oh so tantalizingly close to him. How that warmth radiated from this body…

Again Kaname's hand moved and undid the first few buttons of Yuu's shirt. His kisses went lower…

"Kaname."

It was the first time Yuu had ever used his name. He looked up, drawn by the sound of his own name leaving those familiar and beloved lips. Yuu's gray eyes had never been so bright.


	16. Meeting

**16 - Meeting**

* * *

Their clothes fell away easily, like dry leaves. Kaname took each article of clothing off Yuu slowly, letting his eyes feast on what he could. His crimson eyes never failed to stop onto the strange and huge tattoo on Yuu's left chest, this black, intricate marking that looked like henna and not. He wasn't even sure if it was any real ink at all; under what pale light the hourglass gave, the marking (with its Sanskrit character and seemingly fire-like tendrils) glittered in an odd metallic way, something with a hint of maroon, midnight blue and violet.

Yuu was watching him. Even now, a few moments from the thing that was about to happen, he was still as blank as he could get. He only watched as Kaname removed all of his clothes, exposing him under the pale light. Kaname stared, breath catching. He hadn't expected Yuu to be this…beautiful. While it was true that Mugen healed off most of his injuries, Kaname had been expecting a handful of scars. But there was no trace of any imperfection on Yuu's body – save perhaps that tattoo, whatever it was.

He was on his knees between Yuu's legs as he started taking off his own garments. His lover watched him with only the minutest interest flickering in his eyes, those sharp gray eyes that had been the start of every crazy decision that Kaname had undertaken willingly. It was not without a bit of embarrassment that Kaname was suddenly aware of his own imperfections; his vampiric healing ability could only do so much against a level 3 Akuma's blood bullets; his two encounters with level 4's gave him wounds that did not fade entirely, dark marks on his skin and small, uncomfortable lumps on his arms, chest and legs.

--

His voice filled Kaname's ears, echoing into the farthest reaches of the pureblood's consciousness as they both kept moving, as they pushed furiously against the other's body, the heat increasing between them, every touch and every rub not helping, not helping, only making them both more acutely aware of how cramped the room was, how hot, how hot, how hot they were getting.

Kaname was biting his lower lip hard as he struggled deeper into Yuu's body, every push weakening his knees, ah god, ah god, he was so tight, so tight – damn, he was, and he was toeing the limits of his own self-control not to pound relentlessly into his lover's body, keep pounding and take him, yes, take him, take him, take him and cleave him apart from between his legs until Kaname could not take anymore and lose himself in that final act of possession.

The cries were driving him insane. Kaname's eyelids fluttered low, delirious in pleasure, relishing every movement he made deeper into Yuu Kanda's being. Deep moans and grunts escaped his own lips as he watched Yuu beneath him, watched this beautiful, beautiful man flushed, sweating, his face red, screwed up in pleasure, his skin glistening with sweat and god-knows-what.

He loved every sensation. He loved the feel of Yuu's legs around him, how they seemed to clamp down on him, locking their hips together, oh yes, how they curled around him furiously, fiercely, as if they wanted to squeeze his very soul out of him with their every clench and spasm.

He loved the feel of his lover's breath warming his face and neck; how every inhale and exhale seemed to cost Yuu every ounce of strength he ever had. How Yuu's arms curled around his shoulders; how his muscles tensed, how his nails had been digging into Kaname's skin for the past hours, how he could sense trickles of his own blood flowing from where Yuu dug his nails into them, digging deeper and deeper as his cries got louder and louder. How damp strands of Yuu's long hair clung seductively onto both their bodies.

He loved the feel of Yuu's tightness around him, how his walls trembled as Kaname's length worked its way viciously inside, deeper, deeper and beyond. How Yuu's own arousal was pressed between them, as hard as it could get, so hot it almost felt like a brand against Kaname's middle, burning his skin.

Yuu cried out as he spilled, slicking their bodies with liquid heat. Kaname kept moving, moving, pulling out and thrusting deeply and quickly like no tomorrow – ah yes, he was so near, so near, so near, so near--

He bit down on Yuu's right shoulder as he came, as his final bit of strength leaving his knees. Kaname moaned softly into Yuu's ear. They sought to catch their breath then, as Yuu loosened his legs around him and let them slide down, back to the soiled sheets.

There was no talking for a while.

Kaname heaved himself up a few inches, transferring some weight onto his elbows. His belly was pressed flat against Yuu's. He peered down at his lover's face. Yuu's eyes were closed, his lips a bit parted as he regained his breath. He was flushed pink, making him even more beautiful in Kaname's eyes. He kissed Yuu deeply, afterwards burying his face by his lover's neck.

The scents of blood, cold steel and lotus flowers were everywhere.

"I love you, Yuu Kanda…" Kaname whispered to Yuu's ear. "I love you…"

Yuu kept his eyes closed, and Kaname licked off the single teardrop that rolled down his cheek.

--

Yuki looked up at the five vampires that stood before her. All of them towered over her, but Zero had said that she had to grow a backbone and use all of her pureblood authority if she wanted to know why Kaname really left her, and where he went for those two long years that he had been away.

She swallowed and straightened her back. Hanabusa Aido, Akatsuki Kain, Ruka Soen, Takuma Ichijou and Seiren were her brother's most loyal. Kaname told them things that he didn't let the other members of the Night Class know. She had tried asking her foster father about everything, but Headmaster Cross was a stubborn man, even when it came to her. These five were her only sources of proper information.

"Please." Yuki said, accentuating her words with an unfaltering look. "Please tell me everything that you know."

"I would tell you, Yuki-sama," Aido said as he chewed his cheek furiously. "If I knew _anything_."

Ruka only shrugged. "I say the same."

Yuki took note that both Ruka and Aido looked especially furious. She turned to the remaining three.

"Please." She told them. "I want Kaname back. I can't do this alone. I need your help. Please tell me everything that you know."

"Kaname…hasn't told me anything either." Ichijou admitted, embarrassed. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm sorry, Yuki."

She sighed and clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking. The last two, then. She turned to Kain and Seiren. The taller Akatsuki Kain stiffened obviously under her gaze. Hanabusa Aido shot his cousin an outraged glance, his cheeks coloring with indignity.

"Kain-sempai, please." Yuki said, eyeing Kain levelly.

The minutes stretched as Akatsuki Kain tried to struggle against Yuki's command. Only one vampire was known to have ever defied any pureblood before, even Kaname. It was Zero Kiryuu, no one else. Nobody would defy her here. She would get her answers.

"Kain-sempai, I'm waiting." She continued, lacing her voice with that age-old authority.

"F-France." Kain answered, defeated. "He went to France."

Ruka, Aido and Ichijou looked shocked. Yuki knew she looked the same; she perked up in her seat, her hands tightening on the armrests.

"He…Kaname-sama….is currently an Exorcist for the Black Order." Kain went on. Once a pureblood commanded a vampire, it was impossible to defy. Yuki pitied Kain at the moment; he looked close to tears, having broken her brother's trust. "Kaname-sama….d-doesn't….love you anymore." He had to force the words out. The next ones were also difficult, very difficult to get out. "He….Kaname-sama….he has s-someone…"

"Stop it!" Yuki cried, raising her hands to her ears.

So it was out then. Her brother had someone else. Kaname left her for someone else…

Yuki had to fight back her tears again. "Who is it, Kain-sempai?"

"A f-fellow Exorcist. Only of higher rank. Yuu Kanda, his general."

The silence in the room was deadly.

"A mortal?" Aido whispered.

Ruka clapped a hand to her mouth as Ichijou looked from Kain to Seiren, his face paling.

"Is she beautiful?" Yuki went on as she clasped her hands more, her knuckles whitening.

Kain shook his head. "Yuu Kanda is a man. And yes, he is beautiful."

…

"Where in France, Kain-sempai?" Yuki said as she rose. Her voice sounded dead to her own ears as she walked toward the window and watched the Day Class girls starting to gather outside the Moon Dorm's gates once more.

"In Auvergne."

…

"I see. Thank you, Kain-sempai." Yuki let the curtains fall back into their place. She looked at Ichijou. "Ichijou-sempai, please handle the class for me. Zero and I will be gone for some weeks."

Pause.

"We will be going to France."

--

HQ was pretty much quiet and boring without moyashi and Lavi around. It didn't help that Kanda was assigned with managerial duties for that quarter; it meant that he was going to be stuck in France for the next few months until the Pope in the Vatican ordered another round of duties, and then he could blissfully return to field work.

Kanda sat down on the nearest bench he could find and looked out warily at the crowd milling around in the Tuileries. He was wearing plain civilian clothes today – white shirt, black slacks and boots – but sheathed Mugen marked him out from the crowd; after all, no civilian would carry a sheathed katana around.

You never knew when Akuma attacked; so generals acted as live bait now and then, drawing the fuckers out with the presence of their innocence. A critical rater was like a sun flare to an Akuma – very hard to ignore, very hard to resist.

_Life is weird._

He leaned on the bench and was consumed in quiet. After a few moments of contemplative thinking, a soft, unbelieving chuckle escaped Kanda's lips. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

_I had sex with a vampire. How fucking weird can life get?_

The past few months had been a daze. A confusing, maddening daze that left Kanda's thoughts jumbled, his emotions in turmoil. He had let himself be snared again, and knew that only troubles could come of this relationship that he had trapped himself into. Some of his walls were still standing, but he doubted they would last that long.

_I don't fucking need this. I don't. I just lost a sixth petal. I don't need all of this—_

Such lies he was telling himself. Kanda ran a hand through his hair again, a sign of his agitation. He looked around and hoped an Akuma or two would jump out of the crowd and attack him, just so he could channel off some of the frustration, confusion and anger he had bottled up inside.

He stood up and decided to walk. Kanda easily wove his way through the tourist crowd in the Tuileries, earning himself appraising looks as well as wary glances to his sheathed sword as he went.

_I don't need this. I don't need this._

"Je suis desolée," he muttered as he bumped into a Thai lady and helped her straighten up. The lady watched him go in a daze, but Kanda was too busy with his own thoughts to acknowledge the attention.

_Che. I don't need this._

He wanted to slap himself. He was being a hypocrite. He was—

Abruptly Kanda whipped around, hair dancing as he had a hand on Mugen's hilt. He swore he could feel it, a presence watching him. The nearest clumps of tourists automatically moved away when they saw his stance.

Akuma?

Kanda kept walking. Whoever or whatever this was…

He stopped on his tracks just as his gaze landed on a girl, who can't have been more than sixteen years old. She was petite (she only reached his shoulder at the most), had a shock of messy, dark brown hair that hung to her waist. Her eyes were huge, expressive and crimson. The sleeveless pastel dress and the slippers she wore somehow matched her physique. She looked so thin and frail.

She approached him. Kanda stared at her and raised an eyebrow in inquiry, one hand still at Mugen's hilt.

"Excuse me." She said, her voice soft. "Are you Yuu Kanda?"

Huh. He gave a small wordless nod. The girl bit her lower lip and bowed her head briefly. When she looked up again, her eyes were red-rimmed and her hand was trembling at her side.

"My name is Yuki Kuran." She said. "Do you have time to spare? I would like to have a word with you."


	17. Developments

**17 - Developments**

* * *

Dishwashing was a lot easier when General Allen Walker was not around, no offense meant. Allen Walker was a good, perky kid, a cheerful soul that was like a beacon to everyone around him. Kaname was yet to work with him in the field, but he already knew that Allen possessed one of the strongest Innocence fragments – the Crown Clown – and that made him a definite asset against the Earl Millennium.

Kaname had his iPod playing some songs Ross had downloaded for him as he washed the plates in a much more efficient way than when he had first come here in France. He rarely broke any plate or glass now, too.

"Thank you, cutie. After this last batch, you can go." Jerry said as he put the final stack of dirty dishes nearby and gave Kaname a pat on the head.

_To love you is to be part of you  
I've paid for you with tears  
And swallowed all my pride_

The pureblood only gave a nod; he didn't hear what Jerry said anyway; his iPod was near its maximum volume and –

Crimson eyes snapped open just as Kaname's hands stopped soaping the plate he was holding. He turned his head, his nose filtering the thousand scents that it could detect. His grip on the plate tightened as he recognized two scents that should not be anywhere near France.

Yuki and Kiryuu.

--

Yuki stared at the man. He towered over her easily. He had long hair, perfect locks of blue-black color that he kept neatly in a distinct, ponytail hairstyle. Even though he seemed to stand casually before her (and how beautiful he was; despite herself, Yuki just had to stare), one hand on his katana's hilt, she could sense that he was tensed, like a cobra ever ready to spring and attack given enough reason to.

"My name is Yuki Kuran." She said. "Do you have time to spare? I would like to have a word with you."

Her hand was shaking. She had to clench it into a fist and politely hide it behind her back – this close she could smell Kaname's scent all over this raven-haired man, and it pained her; it took a lot of her to shut out the mental images that kept popping up in her head like mushrooms, one after another, of what could Kaname have done already with this mortal.

"Please. A friend has already made my reservations in Café Marly; we can talk there without interruptions."

She turned on her heels and led the way; the man easily fell into step beside her, the hand on his sword's hilt never moved. She observed him sideways as they walked; he was always tense, like a coil ready to snap, always alert, always on the lookout maybe for monsters called Akuma…

He must know who she was. Kaname would have told him who she was, right?

They reached Marly with no problems; the chefs and _garçons_ easily recognized Yuu Kanda; nobody minded the fact that he carried a sheathed sword. The man could have been a rock for the attention he paid back for the greetings thrown his way. Yuki softly confirmed their private parlor and they were led to it, but…

Kaname was leaning by the door, arms crossed. Yuki stopped dead and squared her shoulders.

"Hello," Kaname spoke. "I thought I'd come even though I'm not invited."

"Just as well," Yuki replied, her voice already an octave higher. "So we can all talk."

"I don't have time for your tearful crap," Yuu Kanda said. "I have a job to do."

He turned around on his heels and made to leave, but Yuki caught his arm.

"Please." She said, meeting his gaze, even though it was an effort to do so; those gray eyes sent a chill down her spine.

"Stop touching me," he hissed, and she let go.

Kaname already straightened himself up. "Yuu. Let's listen to her, please."

She led the way into the parlor. Zero was there, waiting for all of them, standing up and hands in his pockets. He shot Kaname a dirty, enraged look but kept silent. Yuki sat down and folded her hands on her lap. Kaname pulled up the chair across hers and sat down; he also crossed his legs and leaned back. Yuu Kanda remained standing.

The four of them were silent for some moments until Yuki could not hold it in anymore and burst crying.

"Ah for the love of god," Yuu Kanda snarled. "Fucking waste of my time!"

She could feel Kaname's intense gaze on her. She looked up, tears flowing down her eyes. "I didn't want to believe it….I didn't want to….I thought you just w-wanted to clear your t-thoughts…."

Zero's hand held her firmly on the shoulder. Kaname watched her passively, his face horrifically blank, his eyes uncaring – oh god, _uncaring­_ – he was plainly no longer giving a damn about her.

"I want you back!" Yuki cried harder. "Kaname, I want you b-b-back!"

Out of the corner of her eye Yuu Kanda gave an impatient toss of his head. Kaname leaned forward, easily meeting her gaze.

"I don't love you anymore, Yuki." He said.

She turned to Kanda then. "Do you know that we were supposed to be married?" She cried, trying to make him understand. "I don't know what you did -!"

"AMAZING." Kanda hissed, easily cutting her statement. "WHAT I DID? _WHAT I FUCKING DID?_ I DID NOTHING! Oh my god, your sap burns. I want no part of it, thank you fucking much, I have a job to do, and it cannot wait – go shove your pathetic sniveling crap down your throat—"

Several things happened too quickly. Zero fired the Bloody Rose toward Yuu Kanda's retreating figure. There was an unearthly snarl from Kaname, followed by a crash – abruptly Zero was in the wall with Kaname standing over him. Yuki's heart nearly stopped beating – Kaname's hand was around Zero's neck in a deadly strangulation, and her brother's nails were all grown and digging into Zero's neck, and there was blood, lots of it—

"STOP IT!" Yuki cried, rushing over and trying to pry off Kaname's arm. But it was no use; Kaname was unmovable as a mountain; his blood red, rage-filled eyes were fixed onto Zero alone, who glared back with equal hate.

Yuu Kanda was already gone. Yuki kept tugging at Kaname's arm, but her own vampiric strength was no match for his.

"STOP IT! STOP IT! LET HIM GO!" She shouted.

For a split second Kaname turned those rage-filled eyes to her, and Yuki was aware of white-hot pain on her cheek as her brother gave her a back-handed slap, sending her reeling on the floor.

"If you'd hit him – oh god – if that bullet hit him, even just a graze -!" Kaname was choking the words out; Yuki had never seen him so angry all her life. His eyes changed into black entirely, his features remotely beautiful now but more of the monster that all vampires were—

Zero was scrambling back to his feet. Yuki was immediately by his side and supported him; the vicious holes on his neck made by Kaname's fingers were healing. Half-blinded by tears, Yuki turned to Kaname.

"Kaname, Kaname, I want you back--!"

Kaname threw his head back, and when he faced her again, he was back to being the beautiful creature that she knew. He gave her a sad smile.

"You want me back, when you yourself pushed me away." He said softly. "You never loved me, Yuki. You think I didn't know? I'm not stupid. I tried to reach you. I really did. But you never loved me back."

"You're wrong!" She cried. "I love you--!"

Kaname laughed. He laughed and laughed.

"No, Yuki. You loved the _idea of being the Kuran princess_. You loved that you were royalty. You loved the fact that you're a pureblood. But you never loved me."

No, no. She loved him! She really did!

"You want proof, Yuki?" Kaname continued. "I can prove to you that you never loved me." He turned his gaze to the healing Zero. "The proof is right there, in your arms."

--

Kanda hated doing damage control, but he just HAD to, for now. The gunshot was loud; he felt the bullet pierce his shoulder for one split second of pain, but Mugen worked quickly; and the bullet was soon out of his body and his shoulder wound closed before Kaname could sense something and go berserk. He quickly went downstairs; the manager and all the waiters would have heard that.

In a matter of seconds Kanda was already trying to calm down half the Marly's staff.

"_Tout est sous contrôle, pas de panique. Je l'ai dit tout est sous contrôle, zut, écoutez-moi ou je vous coupe comme des poissons_!"

Ah goddamn, the bastards weren't listening! He whipped out his phone and speed dialed to HQ.

"_Jacqueline! Envoyez-moi le plus proche de lutte contre les avaries groupe disponible ici à Paris cet instant_!"

He snapped his phone shut and tried yet again, to knock some sense into the manager's head.

_Goddamn it. This is so not my day!_

--

Kaname was sitting on a bench nearby outside of Café Marly, clutching his head in his hands as damage control teams of the Black Order moved around modifying memories of the more sensitive people who had heard and/or witnessed the incident.

…

It had taken a lot of effort on his part to send Yuki and Kiryuu on their way and by the looks of things, his sister was not giving up on this soon. He clutched his head harder.

He looked up just as Yuu came to stand before him. He looked up at his lover, their gaze meeting.

"She said something about the two of you about to be married." Yuu spoke quietly, his face showing nothing.

Kaname nodded with effort and clasped his hands together. He wanted to have Yuu in his arms, to have the other man's warmth and proximity comfort him. But they were in public, and they could not afford such luxuries.

"I left her." Kaname admitted blankly. "I left her because…"

"Because?"

"Because I already set my heart on making you mine."

There was a moment of silence before Yuu snorted with derision.

"That," he said. "Is the cheesiest motherfucking statement I have ever heard."

…

"I do not love her anymore." Kaname said, rising. Yuu stood up too, beside him.

"No wonder." Yuu spoke, glancing at him.

"No wonder…?" Kaname repeated.

Yuu gave him a small smile. "When I first saw you, you looked so goddamn bored with your life that you could fucking die of boredom." He gave a soft, amused chuckle. "No wonder. With a girl like that. If I were in your shoes, I'd sooner marry and fuck a tree."

That was all and Yuu walked off, hand still ever-present on Mugen. Kaname watched him as he wove his way into the crowd, and he was gone.

…

So Yuu had already noticed him back then.

It made him smile.


	18. Stillness

**18 - Stillness**

* * *

Team Kanda 4 was sent to Manila a few days ago as reinforcements for the sudden Akuma outbreak in the Manila Bay area. Travel time was greatly reduced due to the record-breaking efforts of the Science Department; Supervisor Komui and his army of scientists had finally managed to repair the Ark Teleportation System, which had been destroyed some 6 years ago due to an ambush right at HQ's doorstep, lead by the notorious Noah Tyki Mikk. Now Exorcists and Finders from the main branch at France could be sent anywhere across the globe in the blink of an eye to aid people. Kanda's slave driving of the Science Department and his threats of cutting everybody's paycheck to less than 60 did its wonders.

Ross was very happy to get back to his own country. The boy had only been five years old when a Finder registered his compatibility for Innocence. Three days later, General Kanda, who had been a plain exorcist then, had come to recruit him off to Team Tiedoll. It had been quite daunting working with Daisya Barry, Noise Marie, Yuu Kanda and Froi Tiedoll. Ross could remember General Tiedoll being very fond of his charcoal sketches, and that Daisya Barry was a very good dancer once he'd forgotten about his Charity Bell. A few years later when General Tiedoll finally retired, and when Daisya and Marie had been honorably felled in the field, General Kanda took him up and continued with his training.

Kaname was quiet as he listened to Ross and Rain. It just now struck him how so very little he knew about Yuu Kanda, despite the man being his lover. While he knew for a fact that Yuu was born on June 6th in Tokyo, that he hated sweets and that he disliked being called by his first name – beyond that, what he knew was almost nil. Oh, he was also aware of some fine points of Yuu's character – the man was very kind in his own way; he was probably the only general that would willingly remain sleepless for two days max for a team that was killed in action.

"Kraez-san! Kraez-san!"

The pureblood blinked and turned to Rain Antoinette, who had been pouting for five minutes now. The girl beamed when he'd finally given her his attention and resumed eagerly bouncing on her heels.

"There we go!" she exclaimed. "I thought your brains flew off somewhere!"

"Ah, sorry." Kaname said with a small bow as they sat down on a bench. "I was thinking about some things…"

Passerby glanced at them unfailingly, noting their black-and-silver hued uniforms and the distinct cross insignia of the Black Order on their chest.

"Tell?" Rain asked, blinking.

"Ah, no," Kaname said again, holding up a hand. "It's not a problem. Just…just some regular stuff that comes up in one's thoughts, you know, now and then…"

Ross was busy staring at them both. Suddenly the boy leapt to his feet and held both their hands. "Poyoo, I have an intewesting idea. Why don't we go on a food twip poyoo?"

Kaname only blinked while Rain clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Oh that's right! Kraez-san hasn't been properly initiated yet!" That was all and the girl bounced back up onto her heels, grinning. She grabbed Kaname's free hand and together, she and Ross pulled the pureblood to his feet. "Come on, come on! Exorcists never pass up a good food trip here in the Philippines!"

"Food…trip?" Kaname repeated slowly as he let the kids drag him to wherever it was.

--

The duck egg was warm in Kaname's hand as Ross handed it over. The three of them were standing near a middle-aged man with a cigarette stick held in-between his teeth; he had a basketful of the warm duck eggs and was also selling deep-friend pig's skin and had a bottle of darkly-colored vinegar with some red and green chili in it.

"A duck egg?" Kaname said, blinking.

"It's called _balut_, poyoo." Ross smirked. "You awen't an Exowcist if you haven't eaten one, poyoo!"

Another blink. Okay. Kaname turned to Rain. The half-Japanese, half-French smirked at him and knocked her own duck egg with her free hand, just enough to crack the shell a bit. She carefully chipped the shell slowly, and then drank from the egg – apparently it was juicy.

"Ahh, it's always so good!" Rain sighed happily, then proceeded to chip off more of the shell.

Kaname returned to Ross. The boy was already eating the warm and soft yolk and…was _that_ a duck embryo? Kaname could see the beak and some sort of hair…

_Urgh?_

Rain was already done with her own duck egg. She poked him, that expectant grin still on her lips.

"Come on, Kraez-san. All Exorcists have eaten _balut_ at some point in their lives, you know, and the Order isn't about to make an exception! Even Kanda-san had to eat one – and boy, he likes them! Though he prefers his _balut_ in the Vietnamese style – 21 days old, with firm bones made tender with the cooking!"

He really didn't need that detail, but it was another piece of information about his lover.

"Eat, poyoo." Ross added. "You wouldn't want youw _balut_ when it's no longew wawm."

Okay. Kaname chipped his own duck egg and proceeded to drink off the broth inside. It was really quite tasty. He chipped off more of the shell and blinked at the boiled embryo and yolk. He looked at Ross and Rain.

"Don't eat the white, hard part!" Rain said.

"It's good with wock salt, poyoo!" Ross suggested.

…

"Salt, please." Kaname said. Rain promptly got him some from the vendor. "Okay…" He ate the yolk and the duck embryo all in one go. He chewed and chewed and chewed…

_Hmm…_

"Not bad." He admitted afterward. "A bit…crunchy in some parts, but…yeah."

Rain and Ross laughed.

"You're a proper Exorcist now, Kraez-san!" Rain said as she laughed some more.

--

The coughing would not stop. It had been going on for fifteen minutes now, interrupting Kanda just as he was in the middle of a meeting with the Science Department regarding the newly restored Ark Teleportation System or ATS. He had been asking Reever and Johnny about the proposed individual wristwatches to be issued to all active Exorcist and Finder in the field, that would be connected each to the ATS, thus enabling teleportation with only a turning of a dial or the pressing of a few buttons.

It started as a hiccup. He ignored it, and as the meeting went on, he started coughing, until he could no longer talk and assure the scientists that he was all right. Komui promptly took him aside in the washroom, and was there consumed with a coughing fit enough to shame someone dying of some acute respiratory illness.

He was already doubled up on the tiled floors when the blood came. Komui crouched down and had a hand on his back. Kanda just retched and coughed, blood splattering all over the floor.

"You lost another petal, didn't you?" Komui whispered.

"I'm fine." Kanda gasped, wiping his lips with the handkerchief Komui offered. "It'll pass."

The Chinese man only watched him gravely.

"Kanda…"

"I said I'm fine, damn it. Are you deaf or what?" he snapped.

Komui gave his glasses a push. "Allen will not take this lightly; you know how he hates being the last to know. Ross and Rain will be devastated if they knew."

"It's why it's kept secret, isn't it?" Kanda replied, wheezing a bit. He tried to stand up, but he wobbled dangerously on his feet and had to be put to rights. "It will remain that way. Lavi is already doing all that he can. I don't want other people to take on the burden. I only let the fucking rabbit do as he wishes because he pesters me all day and won't let me sleep, son of a bitch he is."

"You don't need to carry things alone, Kanda." Komui said, a bit of edge on his voice. "Linali had always said this was your fault, you--!"

"ENOUGH."

Komui fell silent and looked at the other man helplessly.

"And what can you people do, hm?" Kanda hissed. "What can you do?" He had a hand on his chest, where his tattoo was located. "If you ask Hevlaska to take Mugen out of me, I will die. Let it stay and let all the petals fall, I will turn into a Togaochi and possibly raze HQ to the ground. What will it be, Komui? What can you do? What can anyone do?"

For once, Komui was at a loss.

"Just let me be useful while I still have time left, goddamn it." Kanda said, already turning on his heels to go back to the meeting. "Don't nag at me like a mother hen. I don't fucking need it; you only make my ears ring, che!"

_What can we do, Linali? What can we do?_

--

It was another week before Kaname was finally able to go back to France with the rest of the reinforcement team. It had been a fun week in general, journeying around Manila and sampling the stranger foods of Philippine cuisine, but of course, everything paled when Kaname got back home to HQ, where Yuu was waiting.

He missed his lover. He hoped Yuu had some time for himself; this was also his only free time, and they better make good use of it while they could…

He wanted to ask questions. He wanted to know more of Yuu Kanda – who he was before he came to the Order, and everything else that he had the right to know. Maybe, Kaname could start asking tonight.

…

Kaname stopped outside his lover's door. There was an unmistakable faint whiff of blood there…He immediately went inside and found Yuu working diligently as always, typing furiously away on his laptop under what light his hourglass gave.

Always, always, the hourglass disconcerted Kaname.

"I'm back…" He said softly as he hugged Yuu from behind and kissed his lover's neck. "May I drink?"

No answer. Not that Kaname expected him to. He licked Yuu's skin and bit hard as always, and drank, drank like no one's business. Yuu didn't react at all; just the tensing of his muscles here and there as he typed. Kaname drew back after a few moments, licking the bite area clean as he went.

…

"You work too much." He said softly, reaching out a hand and closing Yuu's laptop.

"Che! What do you think you're doing?"

Abruptly he swiveled Yuu's chair around so they faced each other, and then he swooped forward and kissed the raven-haired beauty. Yuu responded easily, kissing him back, wrapping his arms around Kaname's neck. The pureblood deepened the kiss (ah, how he missed those lips, really); curling an arm around Yuu's waist and carrying him out of the chair, to drop a bit clumsily on the floor. Kaname ended up on his knees, still kissing his lover.

They drew away for the necessity of breathing.

"I missed you." Kaname said quietly as he shrugged off his coat, afterwards extending a hand and freeing Yuu's beautiful hair from its ponytail, sending the blue-black locks cascading around him like a dark waterfall.

Those gray eyes were blank as ever. Kaname sighed and closed off the distance between them as he eagerly kissed Yuu, his hands already roaming far, helping his lover get out of his clothes. Their kiss became more urgent as he pushed Yuu to the wall; again they had to part not only for breath but also to get rid of his shirt; after that he moved closer, closer, and showered his kisses on Yuu's perfect upper body.

He licked the mysterious tattoo above Yuu's heart, relishing his lover's taste. He could feel Yuu's fingers easily running through his hair, pulling him closer. Kaname lifted himself up and kissed Yuu on the mouth hungrily as his hands moved to his own pants, fumbling, and fumbling urgently.

--

He had his hands gripping the wall, and Yuu trapped between it and his own body. The raven-haired man was on his lap and had his hands on Kaname's shoulders; a deadly grip growing even more so with every movement he made that impaled himself onto his lover's waiting, hardened member.

A pleased cry escaped both their lips at the much-awaited contact.

Kaname shifted, hands on Yuu's waist, as he sought to make them both comfortable on the floor. He was blushing furiously; he could feel it himself, like he was about to explode from within, his face hot. Yuu moved closer to him and the movement made him bite his lower lip. His lover had his arms around his neck.

"How…" Up he went. "Did…your mission go?" And down – ah god, yes. _Yes._

"Well…very well…" Kaname said, moving ever closer and claiming Yuu's neck with kisses. He too moved his hips up a bit to meet Yuu's next downward push, and it sent him moaning. "…How…was…" For a moment Kaname struggled to find a word. The growing heat between their bodies was starting to shut down his thinking. "….paperwork?"

Yuu gave a breathy laugh somewhere above him and gave a vicious push downward. Kaname hissed in part of pain, and in part of pleasure.

"Still a crapload. Always a crapload."

Push.

"Mm…I'm…sure."

Push.

"Ah…f—!"

Push.

"D-damn….that's….that's nice…yes…"

Push.

"Tight. Very…t—tight."

Push.

"Ahh….Yuu--!"

And suddenly somebody's phone rang. Yuu stopped moving, flushed with outrage, and twisted his head a bit to find his phone. There it was on his desk, vibrating and flashing. He turned to Kaname in a moment.

"Can you get it for me?" he asked.

Kaname was annoyed. He tightened his arms around Yuu's waist, enjoying the feeling of his flesh inside his lover's. "Can it wait?" He said, the smallest hint of a pout on his lips. Yuu shook his head. He sighed and used a bit of wind to bring the phone over.

"_C'est Kanda parlant._"

Kaname contented himself with soft kisses that trailed down Yuu's neck, chest and shoulders.

"Fuck you, moyashi. What do you want?" Yuu demanded, though he started moving again, drawing himself up and pushing down viciously onto Kaname. The pureblood had had to bite his lower lip to stop the sounds coming from him. Yuu held on to his shoulder with his free hand. "What? Yeah. It's fixed. No, you moron. Of course not! There's talk of either wristwatches or a built-in feature in all the issued mobile phones. Uh-huh. Are you fucking deaf? I…"

Kaname thrust upward, hard.

"Ah fuck--!" Yuu glared at him for a moment. "What? Yeah. Yeah I'm in the middle of something."

The pureblood let his hands slide up and down Yuu's sides and back, and for a moment did the pushing for him. Yuu threw his head back, his hair clinging prettily to his damp and flushed body.

"I'm trying on a new pair of boots, goddamn it." He snarled into his phone. "Uh-huh. Well they're – _TIGHT_ – and…yeah. Yeah. Fuck you, I know how the replacement system works; I've been in the Order long before you, you white-haired moron, so stop teaching me like you know better, che!"

Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Kaname tried hard to reduce his moaning into small, inaudible whimpers. Yuu brought himself down hard, and sent Kaname spilling deep inside him.

"Ah shit…that's a lot--what?" He had a finger over Kaname's lips. "Johnny spilled Coke on my front. The fucker. Yeah. I'll be shredding him in a bit. Look, moyashi, what is it that you want to say? My boots can't wait!"

…

Kaname sucked eagerly on the sensitive skin by Yuu's neck, just below his left earlobe.

"Fuck you to goddamn hell, moyashi." That was all and he snapped his phone shut. "Stupid bastard's getting homesick and is missing Jerry's cooking. Should've taken him along then. Che."

"Will you just turn off your phone?" Kaname said crossly as he had Yuu's legs around his waist. "I hate it when people disturb us…" He gave a burst of strength and stood up, with Yuu clinging to him. They moved to the bed.

"Oi."

"What is it?"

"I fucking hate doing the laundry."

"Oh." Kaname paused. "Then I'll do it for you."

He cut off all further protests with an urgent kiss.

--

He found out that Yuu didn't quite like taking anyone into his mouth. Kaname had been eager; he had Yuu sitting up, leaning on his bed's headboard, while he knelt in front of his lover and made love to his mouth. Yuu gripped him by the legs and glared at him, those gray eyes sharp as he moved in and out. He'd thought it was an issue with the pacing, so he shifted, but still the glare remained.

He'd spilled in a glorious eruption of white, which Yuu took most of in. And then he bit hard.

The sudden sting startled the hell out of Kaname, who finally figured out why Yuu was glaring at him. He quickly drew away, crimson eyes wide. Yuu took a moment to wipe his lips.

"Never again." He'd hissed.

"Never again." Kaname said, nodding. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You could've fucking asked first."

"…Right."

There was a moment of quiet when they cleaned themselves up and dressed. Yuu went back to his work like nothing had happened. Kaname watched him silently.

"Yuu, how old were you when you were recruited into the Order?"

His lover gave him a brief glance. "Seven."

"You have a family?"

"I'm the eldest and the only boy in eight children."

_Ah…_

"Ever saw your family since? They must be nice."

"They're all dead. Died when I was fourteen. Akuma in the prefecture. People got there in time before the damages went on to other places, but everyone was dead."

How can he speak of such pain with so much calmness? Kaname found himself rising and wrapping Yuu with his arms.

"Why are you being dramatic?" Yuu said. "I can't even remember what they look like."

…

An Exorcist was, after all, someone who did not have the luxury and comfort of weeping.

"It's all right, Yuu." Kaname said softly as he buried his nose into those locks of blue-black hair. "It's all right…"


	19. Hints

**19 - Hints**

* * *

Komui was all geared up for battle. He wore the feared red hard helmet that all Exorcists recognized, an object that never failed to send a chill down an Innocence wielder's spine the moment they looked at it. The Chinese had a tough leather apron atop his lab coat, and he held a huge, custom built drill in his hands. His glasses glinted evilly under the light.

"Now, now, Xanders, be a good boy and let me repair your Innocence, yes?"

Kaname's crimson eyes were wide as he shook his head violently. He had just come from a mission in Madrid, Spain, and had encountered his third Level 4. Needless to say, his scythe took a beating and needed repair. More than two years in the Black Order taught him lots of things, and one of those was how Komui repaired all broken Equipment-type Innocence. It was not a pretty thing.

"Come on, Xanders. Let go of your scythe." The supervisor said, inching nearer.

Kaname shook his head again as he hugged his scythe, inching to the corner of the room. He shook his head once more. "No. My scythe is okay." As if to contradict his words, part of the arcing blade fell off and landed on the floor with a clang.

The manic grin on Komui's face got wider. "Don't make me call for _reinforcements_, Xanders!" he said in a sing-song voice.

"Please, no." Kaname begged. "My scythe is okay. It's fine. It doesn't need drilling--!"

"Oh, but part of its blade just fell off and turned to dust." Komui observed, giving his glasses a push and powering on his drill. Its ominous buzzing sound filled the laboratory. "Come now…"

"Please, no." Kaname pushed. "Please--!"

"I can see this will get us nowhere." Komui sighed, reaching for his intercom radio, which was a button on his collar. "Reinforcements, _s'il vous plaît._"

The lab door hissed open and eighteen scientists in their laboratory gowns all tackled Kaname to the ground, prying his scythe away from his hands.

"AAAAGH! NO, NO, MY SCYTHE IS OKAY! PLEASE, DON'T DRILL IT! DON'T DRILL IT! DON'T!" Kaname yelled beneath all the flailing arms and legs.

"Don't worry Xanders, your scythe will be back in tip-top shape when I'm done!" Komui said, his eyes almost turning into hearts. "So then…"

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzt._

"AAAAGGHHH! NOOO!"

All the windows in HQ shattered.

--

Kanda gave a start on the rooftop just as all the 1,000 windows on the Black Order tower shattered. He turned his head, his hair dancing in the wind, just as the glass shards fell off down the cliff or inside the HQ. The general raised an eyebrow.

_Huh._

Ah, well. He returned to his notebook, where he had been writing some haiku since early morning after breakfast.

_What word comes best after 'dark'…?_

There was an abrupt twang of pain on his chest. Kanda winced lightly and had a hand over Mugen. The pain throbbed, increased and then was gone as quickly as it came. He did not need to look and see to know that Mugen had once more expanded its tendrils around his torso.

_Che._

Arms curled around his waist, and he turned his head a bit to see Kaname sitting behind him, looking like he lost a poker match and all of his money in one sitting. Kanda raised another eyebrow as he planted a brief kiss onto his lover's cheek.

"Was that you who shattered all the windows?" he asked.

Kaname nodded glumly and rested his forehead against Kanda's shoulder. The arms around the general's waist tightened.

"My scythe." Kaname said, voice almost breaking.

_Oh boy._

"Komui, huh?" Kanda grunted. "Well, sucks to be your Innocence at the moment. His methods are harsh but they work."

"But must he drill my scythe, Yuu?"

"Komui knows what he's doing."

"But my scythe…"

"Stop being such a worry-wart. Do _you_ know how to repair damaged Innocence?"

"………………No."

"Then shut the fuck up and leave it to someone who knows."

"……………..You suck at comforting people, Yuu."

"Deal with it."

Kaname sighed, warming his neck for a moment. The pureblood moved behind him and soon had his chin on his right shoulder. Kanda had returned his attentions to his small notebook, tapping his pencil on his knee as he went.

"What are you writing?" Kaname asked softly, lips brushing against his neck.

"Some haiku crap." Kanda replied. _Shit. I can't think of a line_.

"Oh? I didn't know you wrote poetry." Kaname smiled. "Can I read…?"

"Absolutely not." Kanda answered easily. He shut his notebook afterward and refused to write some more, making Kaname frown.

"Selfish lover."

"Fuck you too, Kaname."

The pureblood pouted and buried his nose into Kanda's hair. They stayed like that for some moments, quiet, watching the spy golems flutter about.

…

"Ne, Yuu…?"

"What is it?"

"You never ask me questions." Kaname said pointedly, brushing lips against Kanda's cheek.

"What is there to know?" Kanda answered softly, closing his eyes and leaning back.

"You mean you don't care to know your lover?" Kaname replied just as quietly, a tinge of hurt in his voice.

_What can knowing you do? It can't save me. It's better that I don't deepen this attachment…_

Kanda opened his eyes and looked up at the clouds. "Then tell me what I need to know."

Another kiss on his cheek. He sighed and turned his head a bit, so his forehead rested against a part of Kaname's neck.

"I am Kaname Kuran, a pureblood, the last of the Kuran family in the vampire court. Before I became an Exorcist, I was class president and dorm leader in Cross Academy, a prestigious boarding school. I lead the Night Class, disguised as an elite group of honor students. Everyone in the Night Class is a vampire; we're the first group to test for the newly-developed blood tablets and be educated using the humans' system." Kaname explained, his voice clear. "I uphold the peace treaty started by my parents, Haruka and Juuri, about the idealized co-existence between humans and vampires. Kaien Cross, Headmaster and Chairman, helps me realize the terms of this treaty."

Kanda listened quietly, processing the words in his head.

"You're a pretty important person." He commented at last.

Kaname managed a soft laugh and kissed his cheek. "Mm…true. But once Innocence calls you to your fate…"

"…you must leave everything behind or you endanger those you love." Kanda finished the sentence for him. "Yes."

"What about you, Yuu?" Kaname said, bringing his legs closer.

Silence.

"My name is Yuu Kanda." He said slowly, a hand on Kaname's right knee. "I was born in Tokyo, but I can't remember my family clearly. I do remember that I am the eldest and the only boy, but apart from that, everything is hazy. My first clear memory is when I was 8 years old. I was already a trainee under General Froi Tiedoll."

"….Why can't you remember your earliest years, Yuu?"

"I suppose it is Innocence." Kanda replied. "I'm not exactly sure. But it's better this way."

"Even if you can't remember your family?"

"I would be weak if I remember them. An Exorcist cannot afford unneeded attachments."

"What about us, Yuu? Is this also an unneeded attachment?"

He couldn't answer. Kaname slowly loosened his arms, then removed them entirely.

…

"You must understand." Kanda said, looking at his calloused hands. "Every attachment is trivial for an Exorcist."

"I see." There was an unmistakable tone of pain in the vampire's voice.

Kanda turned his head and glanced at Kaname, a small smile dancing on his lips. "You mustn't let yourself get too attached, Kaname. Deep attachments hurt the most when they're severed suddenly."

"I am also a vampire, Yuu. We form our attachments deeply. I cannot help it."

He raised a hand to Kaname's cheek and stared into those crimson eyes.

"You must be strong, though." He said. "You're also an Exorcist. You will not be able to help it."

Kaname raised a hand to his. He took a moment to kiss Kanda's hand, making the general watch.

"Why are you saying this, Yuu?" He said quietly. "The way you talk…you sound like…" He could not continue.

Kanda gave a faint chuckle and took his hand away. He gave Kaname a poke on the forehead. "All humans die, you know."

Something flickered in those crimson eyes, and suddenly Kanda found himself being crushed into a furious, possessive hug. Kaname had buried his nose into his neck. Kanda closed his eyes when he felt those fangs, when he felt blood being drawn from his body.

…

"You will find out that I will not hand you over easily to any mortal peril, Yuu Kanda, not even to death." Kaname said as he licked the bite area clean.

Kanda pulled back for a bit, staring at Kaname as he traced a finger on the vampire's lips. The gesture made the pureblood blush prettily.

"I didn't know vampires could blush," Kanda said, smiling faintly.

"You're the only one who can make me blush like so." Kaname admitted, then proceeded to hide his face by burying it into the blue-black locks of his hair. "I've never blushed for such a long time…"

He had a hand on Kaname's head. Kaname looked at him after a moment and kissed him deeply.

"I love you…"

…

Kanda only smiled.

--

Ichiru Kiryuu sat on Zero's bed, arms crossed and frowning as he shook his head, silver-white locks of hair dancing. He gave an impatient sigh and watched as his twin brother wore his coat over his uniform and fix his neck tie.

_Honestly. And here I was thinking you've moved on…_

"So? And how is she?" Ichiru demanded, rising and going to Zero to fix his neck tie for him. Zero had always been on the stupid side regarding neck ties. Someone always had to fix them for him.

"She's better. Ichijou-sempai's advice helped her a lot." Zero said, watching Ichiru put his neck tie to rights.

"Like that advice is going to help," Ichiru frowned. He gave Zero's neck tie a furious tug.

"Ouch!" Zero glared at him. "Are you trying to strangle me?!"

"HMPH." Ichiru snarled, glaring right back. "You know what? I don't think this is just an infatuation. Trust me. I've seen how Shizuka-sama had been at it. These scars on your neck are taking too long to heal. Kaname Kuran had every ounce of killing intent when he tore his nails through you. If he hadn't had more self-control, your head would've been goners."

The Kiryuu twins fell silent for a bit, as Ichiru reached for his own coat and wore it. Class was starting in twenty minutes.

"Zero, for the love of god I cannot understand why you're mixing yourself up with this Yuki again." Ichiru said. "You really should just _stop_, you know, before the Vatican even considers adding you to the canonization list or whatever list it is they write for making saints. I'm sure you'd top it, for sheer stupidity alone!"

"What do you know?!" Zero snapped.

"Everything you don't!" Ichiru snarled back. "I'm telling you, I know all the symptoms of a pureblood going gaga over a mortal! Kaname Kuran has all of them, and this is definitely NOT an infatuation! Just you wait, and he'll turn this mortal soon enough and take him home here at Cross! Let's see how your Yuki takes to that! God! You're both stupid I can see why you end up liking each other!"

That was all and Ichiru stomped out of the room, leaving Zero glaring after him.

_My god, Zero! I want to bash your head with a rock! Tch!_


	20. Aido

**20 - Aido**

* * *

The World Rail cruised at impossible speeds inside the Earth's crust, traveling down the special chute-railroads built underground. It was the fastest transportation system next to the newly-restored ATS; it enabled journey from one country to the next in just a couple of hours, albeit without much scenic view except strata upon strata of rock and the occasional magma tunnel.

Kaname lay on the seat, staring absently at the carriage roof while his hand fiddled with strands of Yuu's hair. His lover was asleep beside him, head resting on his chest. Kaname shifted for a moment, pulling the blanket covering their bodies up for a few inches more. He then kissed Yuu on the forehead lightly and tightened his other arm around the man.

Theirs was a very passionate relationship. Whenever they were in private they almost immediately fell into each other's arms and made love like there was no tomorrow. There was just something about Yuu Kanda that never failed to arouse Kaname Kuran, and it wasn't just sheer physical attraction alone. The mere thought of it made Kaname blush.

"Mmh…"

Kaname gave a start and paused from fiddling his lover's hair, but Yuu Kanda only shifted a bit and tightened his arm around Kaname's waist. He was still deeply asleep. The pureblood smiled softly.

They were going back to Japan. Two days ago Kaname had received a panic call from Ichijou, begging him to take a while and return to Cross Academy for the annual visit of the council. The assistant dorm leader had finally ran out of excuses for him, and to prevent unwanted chaos, Kaname had to show himself to Asato Ichijou to quiet down any further suspicions.

Yuu had other business in Japan. He had received an urgent call from the Asian Director, Bak Chan, and since all the other generals were busy in the field, he had to make an exception and go to Shanghai, China. Kaname had proposed that they go to Japan together, and Yuu had surprisingly agreed.

Vibrations. Kaname took a moment to check his phone; there was a message from Seiren that said his house in Hokkaido was all ready to receive him and Yuu. Yuu also had a message; it was from General Allen and was pure nonsense; the message was just a long string of the word banana and bang, alternated with each other. Kaname had to blink at that.

"Who is it?" Yuu's voice came softly.

"General Walker." Kaname said, handing the phone to its owner. "What is with the bananas?" he asked.

Yuu took a moment to read the message, then deleted it without replying. "Fucking bastards and their worthless group messages." He said. Then he sat up and ran a hand through his messed-up hair. Kaname extended a hand and brushed fingers on Yuu's bare shoulder.

"Yuu, I've been meaning to ask…"

"Mm?"

"That hourglass in your room…where did it come from?"

Yuu glanced at him. Kaname suddenly wished those gray eyes could show him more than just blank depth. Until now, he still could not read Yuu Kanda's thoughts easily.

"It was a gift." Yuu replied as he stood up and started dressing. Kaname watched him move around.

"An heirloom?"

"Yes."

Somehow…Kaname could not believe Yuu's words. The pureblood sat up.

"Yuu…all I'm asking from you is honesty." He said slowly. "I have the right to know. I am your lover."

"Some other time." Yuu said. He took his phone and was already dialing Bak Chan's number. He was quickly speaking in spit-fire Mandarin to the director of the Asian Branch. Kaname watched him and gave a sigh.

--

It was the same house where Haruka and Juuri Kuran sheltered and raised their children, Kaname and Yuki. It stood in the middle of nowhere in Japan's coldest and northernmost region, a beautiful Rococo house in the vastness of snow, surrounded with quaint dead trees and faraway, sad gray mountains.

Kaname led the way inside. Yuu took a moment to look around at the priceless Van Gogh and Rembrandt paintings that Juuri Kuran had painstakingly collected over the years. Kaname let his lover explore the place as he climbed up to the master's bedroom and deposited their bags there. Seiren had done a good job cleaning the house. He would have to remember to thank her later.

He went down and found Yuu in the library, already inspecting the dusty volumes Haruka Kuran had treasured. Kaname leant on the doorway and smiled as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Hey," Yuu said, turning to him. "Can I read these books?"

"Of course you can." Kaname replied. "Everything I own is yours."

The raven-haired beauty already pulled out a philosophy book. "Awesome collection. Antiques. Enough to rival Lavi's library."

"My father loved reading." Kaname explained. "Books were his passion."

Yuu made himself comfortable on the couch. Kaname approached his lover and sat down beside him.

"I'll be leaving at sunset." He said. "Make yourself comfortable. There's cable and internet, even though this place is in the middle of nowhere. I'll be back at around 6 in the morning, all right?"

Yuu only nodded. Kaname took a moment to kiss his lover.

"What about you?" he asked, brushing a finger on Yuu's lips. "When will you be leaving for Shanghai?"

"Around lunch tomorrow."

"I see." Kaname nodded. "Yuu, if you need anything, just give me a call. I'll send Seiren or Kain right away."

"Whatever."

Frowning lightly, Kaname poked his lover on the forehead. "You could at least care."

But the raven-haired man only lightly swatted his hand away. Kaname sighed yet again.

--

Hanabusa Aido had still not gotten over his disappointment and jealousy. It had been several weeks now since he'd discovered that Kaname Kuran had stopped trusting him with important matters, and he could not bear the implications. Why did Kaname-sama trust his cousin, Akatsuki Kain, instead? Seiren he knew Kaname trusted with everything, but him? Wasn't he loyal? He wouldn't betray Kaname-sama! He'd never done so! Sure he was impulsive and could be rude most of the time, but…

Crap, this was getting him nowhere. He was jealous. He was angry. He needed to bite someone.

He'd been staying in the Day Class dorms for weeks now too, pestering the Kiryuu twins to no end. Ichiru was mostly accommodating, but Zero was too fucked up to care as always. He and Yuki-sama spent more time together, chattering in the cafeteria or in the library, doing their homework. Aido never failed to notice that Ichiru and Zero weren't speaking again.

Ichijou had asked him to come to the gathering tonight, but Aido doubted he could face Kaname-sama just yet. He'd just content himself wandering around while the council visited – sure he would be missed, but he wasn't that important to be looked for.

Ruka was dealing with the issue in a better way, but if Aido knew better, she too was on testy nerves. Maybe she'd even confront Kaname-sama later.

The sulking vampire found himself wandering down the streets in his jacket, the hood pulled up to hide his face. Sulk he might, but he could also still be useful. Who knew? There might be a couple of Level E's around that needed killing.

_Hmph. I hate this._

And then Aido couldn't help feel but resentment toward Kaname-sama's new _lover_. He was still dazed with the news and doubted he'd recover quickly. A guy. And a mortal to boot. After the news exploded in their faces he'd confronted Kain and demanded his own set of answers. If Kaname-sama didn't want Kain and Seiren to go that near, then the guy was definitely very deadly. Who was this guy? How could any guy drive Kaname-sama nuts? If the council knew this…they were all in a serious shit.

_But then, Kaname-sama always had this knack of ending up in deep shit._

He'd remembered how he'd first found Kaname-sama's choker lying around on a desk, just when the pureblood was showering. Aido had come to deliver some status reports that Ichijou had prepared. As always, he got too curious and thought the thing was some abandoned trinket, and he'd pocketed it to add to his collection of Kaname-sama's unwanted things.

It was mayhem an hour later in the Moon Dorm. Aido swore nobody had seen Kaname-sama that angry. He had shouted at Ichijou and demanded that everyone turn out their rooms as he personally searched for his choker, using merciless wind to tumble people's things around. Aido knew it was serious and had to return the choker with shaking knees. He got another slap as always, but this slap resonated with the anger the pureblood felt – he was sent through the wall and into Shiki's room. The hole on the wall was repaired now, though.

He soon found himself in Hokkaido, walking up to Kaname-sama's house. There might be a problem such as a blown fuse or something, and…

Wait a minute. Why were the lights turned on…?

Aido went inside the house, blinking in surprise. The lights were on. Was Seiren here? Whistling, he walked toward the receiving area, hoping to find the woman there--

A flash of movement. Aido yelled and jumped out of the way just as a black-bladed katana came slashing at his neck from out of nowhere. He was sent clinging to the wall, like an affronted cat, his eyes red, his fangs bared.

"Oh. Another bloodsucker."

Who the hell was that?

He blinked at the black-clad, raven-haired….guy….who had just sheathed a katana. The guy was pale and unusually pretty, with sharp gray eyes that could shame Kaname-sama's own. Then it clicked inside Aido's head. This was Kaname-sama's _lover_.

"Heh." Aido dropped back down to the floor and shoved his hands on his pockets as he walked around the guy, to look at him clearly. The man was as tall as he was, with his long blue-black hair swept in a ponytail. He stood with a certain kind of lethal grace. "So you're the person?"

No answer. Aido stopped pacing right in front of the guy.

"Frankly, you don't look like much." Aido went on, feeling his cooped up jealousy and resentment acting up again. "Whatever did Kaname-sama saw in you?"

The guy only blinked lazily at him and walked away.

"OI! I'm not done with you yet!"

He quickly fell in pace with the guy.

"I'm not sure this is wise," the guy spoke in a soft but clear voice. "You must be Hanabusa Aido. Blonde. Rude. Loud. He also told me you can be a dork. Hey, Aido, piss me off and I can decapitate you as cleanly as a bamboo stump."

That made him stop walking. The guy's tone was light, but he knew he wasn't kidding. Despite himself, Aido swallowed. He followed the guy into the kitchen. The fragrant smell of yakitori greeted his nose.

_Oh boy. That smells so goddamn delicious--_

"Sit down, Aido."

Huh? Aido pulled his hood down and obeyed. The raven-haired guy moved around and served him newly-cooked rice and some of the awesome yakitori. Aido realized how hungry he was and was soon quickly eating. The guy could _cook_.

"Are you going back to the Moon Dorms?" the man asked again in that soft voice of his.

Aido nodded, face stuffed with yakitori and rice.

"Ah. Good. Can you tell Kaname that something came up and I'm leaving for Shanghai earlier than expected?"

Another nod.

Wait. Why was he obeying this guy? He didn't even know the guy's name--

"That's nice. Also, take this bento box to Kaname. There's some extra bits you can share with some people."

And another nod.

"Is there more yakitori?" Aido asked after he'd swallowed.

"By all means, finish it all." The man nodded. "I've finished eating. Don't forget my instructions. I'm off to Shanghai."

"Wait--"

But the guy fiddled with his watch and disappeared in a flurry of light. He was gone. Aido was left gaping at thin air.

_Woah. How the heck?!_

He shook his head and went to get more yakitori. The guy was awesome with cooking. He saw the big bento box, and a smaller one. Yum. He better make this quick then. And who said he was sharing?

--

The bento box was still warm in Aido's hands as he walked toward Kaname-sama's rooms. He'd arrived a bit late; everyone was already drinking blood and dancing. He had to use all connections he had just to go back to Cross while the bento was still warm.

He raised a hand and knocked at the rosewood door. It creaked open.

"Kaname-sama?"

"In here, Aido…"

He went inside and found the pureblood sitting by his desk, fiddling with his phone. Kaname blinked at the bento box he had. Aido walked up to him and put the box down.

"This is from…uh…" Aido couldn't say it.

"From Yuu?" Kaname-sama said. "Why, where is he?"

"He said something came up. He went off to Shanghai already. He sent me to…give you this."

Kaname-sama smiled softly and opened the bento. There was an awesome-looking sushi platter inside, and some really fragrant takoyaki. Aido found himself hungry yet again.

"I knew he'd go sooner." Kaname-sama said as he stood up. "So you met Yuu. What do you think of him, Aido…?"

Uh. Aido was speechless.

"That's all right, Aido." Kaname-sama smiled, patting his head. "I don't expect you to have something to say about him so soon. Hmm…can you call Seiren and Kain? Or for that matter, anyone who's bored downstairs. Tell them to come up here with their chopsticks. This bento is better shared."

"Yes, Kaname-sama." Aido was soon turning on his heels to obey.

His resentment and jealousy was gone.

_Kain and Seiren? Might as well get the whole bunch. _

Heh. He already ate all of the extra bits anyway. Boy, the gyoza was good. Maybe if he met Kaname-sama's lover again…he could ask for ramen. Or yakiniku. Or ebi salad--

Yeah. That'd be awesome.


	21. Bookman

**21 - Bookman**

* * *

Lavi turned his head just as a flash of light came again from the teleportation cubicle inside the Asian HQ, and a grin automatically appeared on his face. The Bookman-General shouldered his hammer and stepped forward, extending a gloved hand for Kanda to take.

"You're late as always, Yuu." Lavi greeted with a cheerful wink.

Kanda stepped out of the cubicle, already looking warily around at the place. His hand relaxed visibly on Mugen's hilt when he saw not only Lavi there, but also Allen Walker, who was already tearing through delicious spring rolls made by one girl named Lou Fa.

"Hi, Kanda!" Allen greeted, waving his chopsticks.

"Che," was all Kanda said before turning away.

The Bookman observed his friend as was custom. Lavi's excellent eyes noted that Kanda looked a bit off-color, a bit paler than when he had seen him last. There was also a distinct difference in those winter gray eyes that he could not yet put a finger to. Lavi also noted that his best friend's movements were a split second slower than his usual.

"You okay, Yuu? Or is stress eating you up in France?" Lavi asked, just to lighten things up. Something was off with his best friend.

"Oi, Bak," Kanda said, ignoring his question. "Spit it out. Why are we all here?"

The Chinese was already holding a dossier and busy hissing instructions on his phones. He held the call for a moment and approached Kanda and Lavi. "Yes, I know it's a bit sudden pulling you all out from the field like that, but our satellites just registered a massive reading of Akuma activity by the Taklamakan Desert. They seem to be gathering around this particular oasis…" He held up a 3D map, and red flashed on the said location. "And Rhode Kamelot has been spotted too."

"Hoboy," Lavi commented. "So it's a big one then?"

Allen had put his bowl down and joined their little huddle. "Innocence, Bak?"

"Most likely." Bak Chan nodded. "We think it's the half of the Heart that we lost when Linali died."

"So you're saying Linali's Innocence fragment is by that desert?" Kanda repeated.

"Yes."

Lavi shifted his hammer. "Then what are we all waiting for? The ATS can take us there in a jiffy!" He grinned. "I need to stretch my legs a bit, too. I've been spending too much time in the Arabian libraries!" That said, he shot a discreet glance at Kanda. But the raven-haired general didn't even react.

--

The gigantic snake made of flames whooshed lethally in the air, bright enough to be probably seen in the sky by a satellite. Lavi brought his hammer down and the snake obeyed, obliterating thousands of Akuma ranging from level 2 to level 3 in one easy sweep.

"Ahahaha! That's probably like 1,234 now to my list, eh?!" Lavi shouted over his shoulder as he enlarged his Innocence and extended it, sending him up, up, up to survey the damage.

"Quit your crap, rabbit-brat!" Kanda yelled back as he crossed his Nigentou one above the other, his Shouka skill already activated. His hair danced wildly behind him as he activated one of his strongest Illusions. For a moment Lavi felt the air thicken and ripple.

"OI, WATCH IT!" came Allen's voice somewhere to the left just as a hail of a thousand swords descended from the heavens, impaling an Akuma target each and sending them exploding. "I'M LIKE, RIGHT HERE – OW! KANDA, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"The moyashi is slow as always!" Kanda sneered as he twirled around in deadly grace, sending his thousand swords floating and gathering above his head.

"I! AM! NOT! SLOW!"

Lavi cheerfully laughed as he jumped down and shrank his hammer back to easy-carry size. "Mission accomplished." He said easily. They had destroyed all of the Akuma in the field, but the desert's dunes had been shifted forever. They took care not to harm the nearby oasis; the Innocence fragment might still be there. Lavi wondered though why Rhode Kamelot was nowhere to be found. They could not claim victory just yet, despite his statement.

Allen looked especially grumpy just as Clown Belt retracted. "You guys! You always hoard the Akuma! You could have left me some!"

"Don't worry, moyashi, Rhode Kamelot is all yours." Kanda muttered as he cancelled his Shouka, making his eyes change back to normal. He sheathed his katana and was already walking toward the oasis. "I'm sure she's missed you so much."

Allen puffed out his cheeks indignantly and proceeded to strip off his right boot and hurled it toward Kanda's head. Lavi chuckled just as Kanda easily dodged the boot, and it harmlessly fell onto the sand.

"It's not like I actually love having a Noah for a stalker, okay?!" Allen yelled, running after Kanda. "You have no idea what it's like to be stalked--!"

_Really, these two. _

Lavi easily followed the two, still shouldering his hammer. The Bookman fell silent as he walked, his guard still up just in case some Akuma were still left, waiting to ambush them. His photographic memory automatically flashbacked the scenes of their battle earlier inside his mind.

He had finally figured out what was off with his best friend. Kanda was definitely slower in his movements. Normally, he would not activate his Shouka skill in just fighting with mere Akuma alone. He reserved his tertiary skills for big fights like the Noah or even the Earl, but for him to activate it at such an easy round…

_A sixth petal, Yuu?_

He had spent a good chunk of his field duty journeying in the Arabian nations. Ever since Lavi found out that Kanda was nowhere near an Equipment-type Exorcist, he had done all that he could to find out more about Mugen. The Vatican's archives and the Leverrier family's extensive libraries all wielded nothing; they all said the same thing – that Mugen was an equipment type, and its usual manifestation was that of a bladed weapon. Not one mention about the hourglass. Or for that matter, the deceptive lotus.

Even the Bookman clan's archives were short of records. Lavi took it as a personal insult and vowed he would find out more, and thus the endless country-hopping with his team, hours upon hours in the libraries of the world. It was Miranda who suggested they try the Arabian nations. Krory had blanched at first, but agreed to come anyway. Lavi was suddenly glad for Miranda's idea. It was only in Baghdad that they found something.

Arabs had their own Exorcist teams, and it had been a long standing agreement that the Vatican keep to its territories while Islam kept to its own. It was relatively hard even in the modern times to get into the Arabian archives, but thankfully Lavi's title as Bookman afforded him perks that not even the Vatican could give him. Bookmen were highly respected and revered in all nations after all.

It turned out that Mugen was at first one of the fragments that had found its way into the Arabian nations. For many centuries since Noah's Ark, it had served countless Arabian masters, then known as _Kalpana_. It was one of the seven strongest, unchangeable Innocence fragments that the Heart first created. It was born of man's desire to wish that every hardship and pain was just an Illusion, a bad dream, a nightmare.

And, as it turned out, it was also one of the cruelest Innocence in the world.

All of the extensive records Lavi managed to find all mentioned only one fate for every master Mugen had ever served – the moment the lotus wilts and its last petal falls, the Innocence would turn against its master and transform the wielder into a Togaochi, a Fallen One, and then proceed to sap the wielder of his or her life. There was no known measure to stop such an end.

Then for some reason, the fragment found itself in the Christian world and was given the name Mugen. It only had one other master before it chose Kanda, and this master had been killed by a Noah. The woman never had a chance to suffer her bitter end.

Lavi also studied what he already knew of his best friend's written and unwritten history. He knew for a fact that Kanda was born as a sickly baby in Tokyo – not even the doctors were positive that he would not live beyond 48 hours upon delivery. But for some reason, the weak, sickly infant just lived on and on and on…just as a strange marking on his chest grew. The rest was history.

Lavi believed that Kanda was strong in many aspects, but when it came to his Innocence, his strength was the wrong kind – it made him hard outside, but very brittle from within. Linali had been worried then. It was her dying wish that Lavi help Kanda out. Lavi could still remember that silent plea in her glazing eyes.

_Really, Yuu, you're more trouble than your worth._

If there was one thing Kanda hated the most, it was being seen as weak. He had hated weakness all his life, as he had seen how humans created Akuma with it, seen how emotions could lead to the deaths of countless people. This was why General Froi Tiedoll abruptly concealed the truth of Kanda's Innocence by registering him as an Equipment type user.

Everything was complicated enough, and then Krory's friend Kaname Kuran had to enter the scene. Lavi was wary about this unexpected, dangerous factor suddenly adding to the equation.

The Bookman watched as Allen and Kanda talked, planning on how to approach the oasis. There were no visible scars on Kanda's neck. But that didn't mean that he could not be bitten elsewhere – and Lavi knew all about Mugen's notorious healing abilities. Kanda was not the type of person who would let a vampire touch him. An Akuma couldn't even go near him. But there was this nagging thought. If Kanda was bitten, he should not be human anymore. He would be a vampire already, fast descending into the unforgiving craving for human blood.

But Kanda was still unnervingly normal. At least, on the surface.

"Lavi! We're going in!" Allen called.

"Right-o. I'll stay right here and watch your backs!" Lavi grinned, saluting.

"Drag me down and die, moyashi." Kanda snarled as he took the first step onto the oasis' water. He disappeared into thin air the moment his boots sank into it. Allen waved at Lavi with Crown Clown and followed suit, also vanishing.

Lavi tilted his head and kept his hand on his hammer. With 300 percent up sync rate, Akuma should be flocking toward their location again in a few moments. And quite possibly with a Noah in tow. Fun.

_I guess if Kaname Kuran makes an unfavorable move, I'll make another exception and meddle. I hope it doesn't come to that though._

The Bookman ran a hand through his hair and waited, whistling.

--

The party ended at around 6 am, relatively late for vampires, but Kaname Kuran was far from being sleepy. The pureblood waited until Asato Ichijou and his entourage of council members left and everyone in the Moon Dorms had drifted off to sleep before changing his clothes and going down quietly to the kitchen. Kaname took a moment to cook himself some pancakes before climbing up to the dormitory rooftop just in time as the sun climbed up from the east.

Always, always, the sunrise never failed to awe Kaname.

He sat there on the roof tiles, eating his pancakes slowly just as the familiar golden disk slowly peeked from behind her veil of clouds. Assured that her rival moon was already gone, the sun proceeded to her steady ascent up the sky. It made Kaname smile. Those golden rays were lovably warm against his skin.

He took a moment to check his phone. No new messages. A soft sigh escaped his lips. He wondered where Yuu was right now, what he was doing, and whether he missed a meal yet again. He missed his lover already.

Kaname finished his pancakes and put his fork and plate down beside him. He drew his knees up and continued to enjoy the early morning warm. At exactly seven in the morning he could hear the Day Class coming. A thousand scents and a thousand voices gently flooded his senses, but nothing stood out.

Movement. Kaname turned his head and looked down. He could see Ichiru Kiryuu just beyond the Moon Dorm's walls, frozen on his tracks and looking right at him. A small smile played on Kaname's features as he raised a finger to his lips. Not many knew he could already walk in daylight. Ichiru Kiryuu got over his shock, nodded and went on his way. Now there was a trustworthy vampire hunter. Kaname returned to watching the clouds.

_I hope there's--_

Speak of the devil. His phone flashed red. Kaname eagerly grabbed the gadget and opened the message from the Order's Seeker Department. It was an order requesting all available Exorcists to rush over to Osaka. Kaname rose easily and activated his Innocence, the scythe forming in his hands.

He didn't even bother changing out of his casual sleepwear, or even wearing shoes. Wind gathered around him and he immediately shot up into the air and was quickly soaring toward the coordinates forwarded from HQ.

_Just in time. I was getting insanely bored. Bring it on._

--

Ichijou surveyed himself in front of the mirror. His Night Class uniform was well-pressed and crisp-looking, not a spot out of order. He nodded, content that he was ready for this evening's class, and then went on his way, exiting his rooms. Everybody else was already gathered down--

Or not.

Yuki stood outside Kaname's door, still looking a bit strange to Ichijou's eyes, who had grown used to seeing her with her hair short and in the dark-hued Day Class uniform. The dorm vice president approached her carefully.

"Yuki, what are you doing?" He inquired, keeping his voice light.

Yuki turned her head and blinked up at him. "Kaname hasn't gone down yet."

That made Ichijou blink. "Oh dear. We should wake him then." He knocked three times and entered the room. Only one lamp was lit by the desk, and they could an unwashed plate and drinking glass there. Kaname's books and papers were all neatly organized in their places.

"Kaname?" Ichijou's voice softly wafted in the room as he and Yuki approached the bed. "Hey, Kaname…?"

The lump on the bed stirred irritably, and they could see a pair of crimson eyes squinting at them.

"What?!" Kaname demanded, annoyed.

Yuki dared to sit on the bed. "Um…class is starting?"

"So? The hell are you bothering me for?" Kaname snapped grumpily as he pulled the blankets over his head. "Go away."

Yuki glanced at Ichijou. She decided to go another step further by placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey…"

Ichijou took an automatic step back as Kaname sat up, positively looking pissed. His hair was a mess and he looked really tired. Even Yuki drew back a bit.

"The hand outs for the lessons are on my desk," Kaname said. He looked like he wanted to bite something. "Take them, go away, and let me sleep."

"What do you mean, you're just sleeping now?" Yuki persisted, confused.

"Just stop it with the ridiculous questions!" Kaname said and he sank back to his bed and refused to move anymore.

_Change. He's changed._

Ichijou walked toward the desk and easily found the hand-outs there, along with some notes Kaname prepared in advance. He took them into his hands.

"Let's go, Yuki. I'm afraid you'd have to hold classes again."

Yuki looked like she wanted to kiss Kaname's cheek. She struggled for a moment and stood up, nodding. "Yes."

Ichijou ushered her out of the room. He too took a last glance toward Kaname.

"Well…have a good sleep, all right?"

He closed the door gently behind them.

_Yes, he's definitely changed. _


	22. Disharmony

**22 - Disharmony**

* * *

Jealousy was poison in Kaname Kuran's veins. Like blood, it seeped into his system, into his every being, penetrating the core of his soul, or whatever soul a pureblooded vampire could have. It crawled under his skin, it crawled into his heart and made living an agony, it crawled into his lungs and made breathing hell. It crawled into his mind and left him on the edge of a cliff, that fine edge between sanity and murderous frenzy, for Kaname Kuran was not a person who took to jealousy with lucidity.

Jealousy was Kaname Kuran's greatest fault – it pushed him into notorious over protectiveness; a choking hold on anyone he held dear. Reason simply fled Kaname Kuran when he was jealous. With his sister Yuki, it pushed him to very nearly kill Zero Kiryuu. His over protectiveness in turn, made him commit the murder of a fellow pureblood. It also made him want to try hiding Yuki from the reality of the bloody world of vampires; it also made him nearly leave everyone behind in the Moon Dorm just when they needed him the most.

Now though, the jealousy Kaname Kuran felt with Yuu Kanda was maddening than ever. He hated it. He hated how that red-haired General, this Bookman Lavi, could talk to Yuu so easily, talk to him in such an easy manner that he, the lover, could not yet achieve. How the General Lavi seemed to know things about Yuu that Kaname was clueless on grated the vampire's nerves to no end. How the General Lavi was the first to Yuu's bedside after that huge fight in the Taklamakan Desert with nearly two thousand Akuma, with Rhode Kamelot and Tyki Mikk at the same time.

He hated it.

Hated it to no end.

He wanted to kill this Lavi, this bothersome red-haired man with the eye patch, get rid of him and maybe get rid of the final barrier between Yuu Kanda to himself, and maybe with Lavi's inconsequential death everything would be solved, everything, all the answers to every hanging question, every mystery finally given light, every piece finally falling to place.

--

He felt it as soon as he opened his eyes and woke up facing the clear, spotless white ceiling of the Infirmary, Madame Hanna's abode. There was this creeping weakness, this numbing cold somewhere in his gut, spreading slowly, spreading outward like a net, until his entire body was cold and felt dead even under the sheets.

Kanda knew then that a seventh petal had fallen.

He had been careless.

He, Yuu Kanda, best swordsman of the Black Order, had never been careless until now.

The moment he and Allen stepped into the oasis, they had been automatically captured in Rhode Kamelot's Dream. The bitch had gotten to the fragment long before they did, and had passed it on to Tyki Mikk, who had been there with her. He and Allen agreed without talking that they would take on a Noah each. It was simply too late to inform Lavi. Besides, he still believed that he would be the one to avenge Linali. Not Allen, not Lavi, but him.

Kanda had always prided himself with his ability to withstand most mind-breaking capabilities of the Noah Family. He was without attachments, without emotions, not hesitating to sacrifice his own comrades or attack them if the situation called for it. Tiedoll, Marie, Daisya, Komui, Linali and Lavi could all attest to Kanda's cold-hearted tendency to hurt his own friends if they got in his way.

No attachment.

No emotion.

It rendered him immune to the pathetic techniques of the Noah – those namby-pamby idiotic blackmailing prowess, those despicable flashbacks inside your head of your friends' deaths, or your loved ones' demise. Yuu Kanda held his friends at bay. Yuu Kanda had no family left. His only love had left him by then, and then he was bereft of everything. He had nothing to lose. Hence, he had nothing left to fear.

Until now.

Kanda knew it had been a bad idea from the start, offering his blood to ease the desperate hunger he had sensed in Kaname Kuran way back in that mission in Chile. The moment the vampire had asked him to be his lover was the start of every lethal miscalculation that he had committed, one after the other.

He'd thought he'd sent Kaname Kuran back to where he came from when he thought of the deal. But Kaname Kuran came back.

He'd thought he could endure it; maybe find a way to shake off the vampire from his path. But somehow he had started looking forward to that piercing feeling of those fangs, those sharp fangs, penetrating his skin. He had started looking forward to those arms pulling him close, to that breath warming his skin, to that tongue wetting his skin, in preparation for the bite.

He'd thought that maybe, just once, if he let the bastard fuck him then the need would go away. But it didn't. Every touch, every kiss, every painful penetration came one after the other. He looked forward to it. He _loved_ it. By the gods in all the existing pantheons he did.

He'd thought that he would never hear his own heart beat again when Linali died. But his heart beat stronger than ever with Kaname Kuran nearby. Fuck, at one point, he seemed like a love-struck schoolgirl.

He hated the sight of Yuki Kuran's face the moment he laid his eyes on her. He knew who she was without telling, and when she told him to leave, when she told him she and Kaname were supposed to be married, fuck, he felt angry, so angry, that he felt Mugen resonate. Fuck, how he gloated when he _knew_ that Kaname would choose him. He gloated. Fuck, he did, and he loved it, no matter how foul it sounded.

…

Rhode got him real bad. He could still hear her shrill laughter in his head. Her twittering voice demanding who was this dark-haired person with crimson eyes that kept haunting him. Who was he, this person, and why did Yuu Kanda treasure him the most? Gods, he couldn't bear it. The gaping reality of how vulnerable, how detestably weak he had become made the hate for himself escalate some more.

But he was not as weak as Lavi when they fought Rhode in the Ark all those ages ago. He would never be that weak. He could sever attachments if he needed to, and he needed to do it now. He would look away from those crimson eyes. He would refuse those lips, those arms. He would stop the idiocy before it made him a total fool.

He.

Would.

Fucking.

Stop.

The blast of pure white light surprised Rhode, and her laughter soon turned into a scream of agony as his Illusion burned a good chunk of her body, disfiguring her forever. That sent her away, fucking bitch that she was. Allen, as always, needed help with Tyki Mikk, and Kanda had to use his second strongest Illusion altogether before the stupid moyashi could get a hold of himself. Two superior Illusions in one day, with an interval of only fifteen minutes.

Kanda knew a petal would fall, and fall it did. When they got out of the oasis, his first step forward saw him faint. The last he could hear were Allen and Lavi's panicking voices, and everything was lost.

--

Madame Hanna would not yet let him go, on Komui's orders. The fucking bastard. So he had to while away the hours here in a private corner of the Infirmary, reading a book Lavi supplied every two days.

With the restoration of the ATS, all the Generals and Exorcists were to stay in HQ, only to be dispatched to the other bases when needed. Needless to say Allen was beside himself, realizing that he would no longer be parted with Jerry's excellent cooking, unless it was a matter of life and death. Lavi was primarily glad with the fact that the ATS could take him anywhere, making field research easier. HQ was suddenly a noisy place again.

This also meant that he was off managerial duty. Kanda could finally go back to enjoying the field work, the rush of excitement and adrenaline when chasing Akuma and Noah. And it would make things easier, now that he needed to move away…

"Hey, Yuu."

Che. The fucking rabbit-brat was back. Kanda marked his page and looked up to see Lavi coatless, pulling up a chair to sit down on it. They stared at each other for some time.

"I'm trying my best." Lavi said finally. "I will find a way, Yuu, just hang on for us a bit longer."

Kanda closed the book and put it on his lap. Lavi grinned easily at him.

"Did you know that Mugen was at first a fragment used by the Arabs? It wasn't even called Mugen then, but _Kalpana_. This is strange because _Kalpana_ as a word in itself is Hindu in origin. That alone is a major discrepancy, don't you think?"

He blinked his gray eyes idly, and Lavi took that as his cue to continue.

"Mugen only came to the Christian territories some 200 years ago prior. This is why the Vatican and even the Leverrier knew close to nothing about it. The Arabs, however, knew it like the backs of their hands."

Abruptly Lavi stopped talking just as he looked toward the door. Kaname stood there; hand on the doorknob, crimson eyes wide. Kanda quickly dismissed the vampire from his thoughts and returned his attentions to the Bookman. Lavi did not even bother looking over his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Yuu. Even Allen will be stuck here for a long time. You two can play poker or something." Lavi rose and ran a hand through his red-orange hair, still grinning. "I'll see you both when you can prove yourselves useful as sparring partners, all right?"

That done with, Lavi left, giving Kaname only a small nod of acknowledgement as he went.

--

Kaname did not sit down on the chair, but instead on the edge of the bed. He kept his hands on his knees so that they would not shake, and the two of them were quiet for a long while. Yuu had taken up his book again and resumed reading.

"What is he doing here?" Kaname demanded, not bothering to conceal the anger in his voice.

"Talking." Yuu replied. "Is that a crime now?"

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the tone of his voice. He turned to Yuu, his crimson eyes bright.

"Why is he always with you?" Kaname demanded. "The moment you got here, unconscious, he was always there. He is always talking with you. Always. I hate that word. Why?"

Yuu looked at him, frowning. "So fellow Generals cannot talk now? So Exorcists cannot care for a comrade? Is that what you're saying?"

Tch. Kaname felt his temper climb up some more.

"WHY IS HE ALWAYS WITH YOU?!" He shouted, making the window panes rattle.

"Shut up. There is no need to scream. Am I screaming at you?"

…

Kaname clenched and unclenched his fists. "Why is he always with you?"

"Because he is my closest friend since sixteen years of age."

He didn't like that kind of answer. He didn't.

"What is it that you two are always intently talking about?" Kaname snapped.

Yuu could not answer him. Kaname could no longer hold in his temper; in one quick movement he had Yuu under him, pinned on the bed. Both the raven-haired man's arms were placed up, above his head, while Kaname kept a firm grip on his crossed wrists. A grip enough to make a few bones crack.

"I don't like it when I'm jealous, Yuu Kanda." Kaname went on, softly. "Because when I get jealous, I also turn murderous. I don't want to see you with him. Do you have any idea what just the _thought_ of it does to me? Do you? DO YOU? I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. You're mine. Mine, you hear? MINE."

Fury flashed briefly in those winter gray eyes.

"Get off me."

Kaname stayed where he was.

"Get off me."

"No."

"Get the _fuck_ off me."

"No."

"I SAID GET OFF ME!"

"I SAID NO AND I WILL NOT!"

Silence. Kaname tightened his grip, destroying Yuu's wrists. He could deal with it. He healed like crazy anyway.

"You're mine," Kaname snarled. "Even if I have to kill a few people to prove it!"

Yuu stared back at him coldly. "Do that, fuck you, and I'll kill you myself."

…

"What is he to you, Yuu?" Kaname said. "I swear to whatever god there is not even you can stop me when I'm angry enough."

He was NOT going to lose his head that easily. A single mistake could make him lose Yuu Kanda forever.

"Are you fucking deaf? He's my _friend_! Unless that word has some new definition in a Webster's dictionary, I cannot possibly be responsible if you're nuts or just plain stupid!"

…

There had to be trust here. Yuu was not yet ready to trust him like that, but Kaname could do things to prove at least that he was trustworthy. Yes. Yes, he could do that. He loosened his grip on the already swelling wrist and took them tenderly in his hands. Kaname kissed the injured wrists.

"Forgive me." He whispered. "Forgive me. I…I hate it when I'm jealous."

No answer. Yuu sat up.

The wrists did not heal.


	23. Illusions

**23 - Illusions**

* * *

For Lavi, it was all the confirmation he would ever need. The Bookman sighed and walked away from the Infirmary, hands in his pockets, a frown on his brow. He had not expected this at all. His friend was in a deeper shit than what he had predicted. Yuu was strong in his own right, but when it came to his own emotions, he could be a little weak. A little stupid, even. Emotions after all, had the tendency to make intelligent people stupid and brave ones falter. Did Yuu have a choice? Or was he forced to be in this circumstance?

He would not meddle more than what he needed to. But this…Yuu did not need this. The man had enough problems to deal with, Mugen involved or not. But that was also the question. Lavi stopped on his tracks, lifting his head. Did Kaname Kuran even know about Mugen? Did the pureblood know that Yuu Kanda was even closer to the grave, now that a seventh petal was lost and only six remained? Did Kaname Kuran know that every battle from this day forward could risk losing a petal?

Lavi looked over his shoulder, glanced at where he had come from. The doors, windows and the lights in this area of HQ trembled for a split second. He even felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand, and the air seemed thick suddenly. Then as quickly as it came, everything was back to normal – the only sign something had happened was that the chandelier above his head was still swinging. Lavi glanced up at it.

It seemed Yuu knew what he was doing at least. By the time Kaname Kuran could figure out what was happening, it would be too late. The strings would all be neatly severed at the appointed time. For Lavi and the rest of the Black Order – well, Allen aside maybe – there would only be a few tears. The fires would rise up until everything was ashes. Kaname Kuran…would have to deal with his grief alone.

Lavi resumed walking back to his library. It was all for the best.

--

Bokken clashed against bokken, and the blows exchanged became faster. Kaname Kuran watched as Allen Walker inevitably got driven to a corner and disarmed – his daito flying from his grasp to land point-first onto the sand that made up the floor of the training arena. Yuu did not stop slashing – it was as if he knew the white-haired general had more tricks up his sleeve. Allen was forced to drop to the floor and roll away.

He was sitting along the edge of this particular arena, dangling his legs. Ross was beside him, chattering with his Spanish friend, Luis, the very same kid who got hurled off the chopper a few seconds before Kaname in the preliminary training. Rain was sitting on his other side, contentedly eating one of Jerry's excellent parfaits. General Lavi was also there with Miranda Lotte, who was not really watching – the woman was busy with her embroidery.

"Oi, oi, Kanda – HEY -!"

"If you think you can cheat, moyashi, _think again_!"

There was a painful clack of wood against human skull. Even Kaname had to wince and look away as General Lavi said his "Ow!" and Rain gasped her "I actually felt the pain! Yeouch!"

When Kaname looked again, General Walker was already sprawled on the sand, cross-eyed and clutching his head. General Lavi laughed and raised Yuu's blue flag. "And Kanda wins!" The Spanish boy named Luis jumped off from his place and walked toward his general. He activated his Innocence and healed off the nasty looking bump on Allen Walker's head.

"Thanks, Louie…" General Walker groaned, still cross-eyed.

Yuu walked toward him, Ross and Rain, daito on his shoulder. Kaname gave him a small smile that he acknowledged with a mere blink. He turned to Ross and Rain and grunted when the girl suddenly lunged for a hug.

"Awesome, Kanda-san!" Rain exclaimed as she drew away and returned to her parfait. Ross only nodded.

"How are your injuries?" Yuu asked.

"My arm is healed." Rain smiled. Ross only opened his mouth a pointed to a fresh but otherwise fully-healed gap between his lower teeth.

"Damnit, Kanda, that hurt!" General Walker complained as he stood up. "You didn't have to go that hard on me!"

Yuu only flipped him the finger.

"Aright, who wants to spar next?" General Lavi called. "We've got lots of time to kill…"

The boys Ross and Luis looked at each other once, then proceeded to take the daito their generals dropped. The Spanish kid pouted and said, "Hey, no Innocence!" Ross only cackled. "Poyoo!"

Yuu heaved himself from the arena in one graceful flip that made his hair dance momentarily. Kaname straightened up. Yuu reached for a towel and draped it over his head, then went on his way. Kaname waited for some fifteen minutes before rising and following his lover.

--

They hadn't been speaking for an entire month now. It was made worse by the fact that missions seemed to crop up one after the other, and teams were quickly dispatched to new locations after having just arrived from another. Kaname felt like he was training again. He could do little except to go update his files in the Missions Department, visit the Science Department whenever his Innocence took a beating or otherwise update his coordinates with the Seeker Department. The generals were gone for longer periods of time. This was the only time he had seen Yuu again after their fight in the Infirmary.

Kaname needed to talk to his lover. Badly.

He opened the door to Yuu's room but was met with nothing except the hourglass. Kaname took a moment to notice that there were now seven pieces of brown sludge at the bottom of the thing. Even the lotus had changed in appearance. It had gone from the pale pink he'd remembered to a sort of sickly white. The sepals had hints of brown along the edges, and the stamen had drooped visibly.

…

Kaname quietly closed the door and decided to try the meditation chambers. He went up to the 80th floor and was right. Yuu was in one of the chambers, namely in number 45, sitting cross-legged on the tatami mats. His eyes were closed and his hair cascaded beautifully around him. He opened his eyes when he sensed Kaname enter the room.

"Hello." Kaname smiled softly as he approached. He bent down and they exchanged the customary kiss for a greeting. Yuu's lips had a hint of coldness.

The pureblood made himself comfortable beside his lover. "I haven't seen you lately. I'm sorry. Missions keep going up…"

Yuu closed his eyes again and didn't answer. Kaname glanced at him.

"Are you still angry with me?" the pureblood whispered.

Still there was no answer. Kaname ran a hand through his hair and stared at the wall.

…

Two hours passed in silence before Yuu ended his meditation and swept his hair up into its customary ponytail. Kaname glanced at him again. His lover had never been so beautiful in his eyes – clad in a black, sleeveless shirt like that. Yuu's arms still bore no imperfection from any battle. Though, there was this thing…a dark tendril on his left shoulder that Kaname was sure was not there before. And Kaname knew every detail of Yuu's body like the back of his hand.

"Yuu…what is that?"

"What?"

Kaname moved closer and pointed with a pale finger. Yuu blinked at him and followed with his gaze.

"Ah." He said. "It's nothing."

"Remove your shirt. Let me see."

Something flickered within those gray eyes, but Yuu complied, peeling off the shirt from his upper body in a way that made Kaname blush. He had always loved watching Yuu Kanda undress. It made his senses tingle, like some sort of a prelude to an incoming overload. Kaname stared.

The Sanskrit character on Yuu's chest still glinted oddly in midnight blue, dark green and maroon. But the fire-like tendrils around it were certainly bigger from what he could remember. They branched out ruthlessly from the mark, like some gnarled tree root that was spreading through the earth. Kaname noted that the tattoo had taken up most of Yuu's back now, like an alien hand holding a possession in its grasp. He did not like how it looked on Yuu's pale skin.

"Your tattoo…has grown." Kaname said.

Still, Yuu was silent. Kaname leant forward and planted a kiss on the character, making Yuu hold onto the back of his head. The pureblood moved closer, trailing slow, soft kisses on his lover's chest, shoulders and neck. Yuu pulled him closer, making only the faintest sounds of pleasure and need. For Kaname, those were the only confirmation he needed.

--

Kaname had never let anybody possess him. He considered it a matter of pride and of his pureblood nature. But how easily pride was shattered when it came to this beautiful man on top of him, how easily this person made him leave every comfort and security of his world to venture into one did not know. His lips were still a bit sore from all of their kissing, and he could still taste Yuu on his tongue – how sweet he was when he came into his mouth, leaving a hot white trail down the corners of his lips and his neck.

Yuu's hair was like spilled black paint, curtaining their bodies even in their furious quaking glory. Kaname cried out as he felt his lover move deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper into him, fighting with his own tightness, fighting with his own body and winning, winning, winning, and winning. The blush on his face deepened at the sounds of their breaths, their moans, the sounds of their body. Kaname wanted to melt and die.

"Ahh--ahh--ahh, god, ahh--Y-Yuu--ahh--don't--!"

His lover shushed him with a kiss; Kaname tightened his arms around his lover, relishing every sensation, every slash of pain, every jolt of pleasure from where Yuu hit him to the hilt, driving into the farthest reaches of his being. He could see white spots in his gaze. He could feel strands upon strands of Yuu's hair against his face, into their mouths even as they kissed. The scent of cold steel and lotus flowers flooded Kaname's senses, driving him into delirium; intoxicating even more than any blood he had ever drank.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Deeper.

Deeper.

Deeper.

Kaname let out the gasp of pain he had been trying to hold in, and as the breath left his lips he felt the explosion of liquid heat within him, leaving everything dull and lessened within its wake. The white spots in his vision got brighter, almost blinding him. His breathing was louder than ever. He closed his eyes but could not seem to close his mouth – his lips parted, forming an 'o', drawing every hungry breath for him that made it seem his own nose failed its job.

"You're too loud…" Yuu's voice came quietly. He did not sound tired at all.

"I'm…" Kaname felt his throat raw, and he didn't even scream. "I'm…sorry." He managed a breathy, shaky laugh.

He could feel Yuu's hands on his thighs, and they directed his legs to relax. Kaname gave a soft, pleased sigh and buried his nose into the strands of blue-black hair.

"Yuu…"

"Yes…?"

"I love you…"

"…"

_Why can't you say those words?_

He felt Yuu move and heave himself up for a few inches. Crimson eyes met winter gray ones, unblinkingly.

"I. Love. You." Kaname repeated.

Yuu blinked. And blinked. And blinked.

His lips rested on the right corner of Kaname's mouth. He felt Yuu mouth words against his skin, his voice quiet. However faint it was, Kaname heard it. Oh, he heard it. Vividly.

--

He was laughing like a kid as he pulled Yuu by the hand as they ran from the meditation chamber, their clothes haphazardly put on.

"Slow down! You're acting like a crazy person!"

"Yuu! Let's go on a date!"

Abruptly, they came to a halt. Kaname watched as his lover caught his breath. Yuu had a hand on his chest as he took what seemed to be every painful inhale. His cheeks were still flushed. There was something wrong in the picture, but Kaname could not put a finger to it.

"Go…on…a…_what_?" Yuu said, panting. The hand on his chest seemed to clench. Like he longed to pull something out of his own body.

"A date. I want to go on a date with you." He said, smiling.

"What…the…fuck…?" Yuu said, straightening up. He flung his right arm and found the wall. He leaned onto it, and then eventually slumped to the floor. Kaname was quickly beside him.

"Are you all right? Did we do it too hard?"

Yuu shook his head. "M…fine…"

But he looked like every breath was his last.

"Yuu--."

"What were you saying? The hell. Date? Fuck, how corny…"

"Come on, lover, don't be difficult. Just a small walk or a dinner will do."

"The hell. Date. The hell."

"I promise I will use every ounce of self-control not to kiss you or grope you or hold your hand in public."

Yuu glared at him. Kaname laughed.

"Please?" He raised Yuu's hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Fine. Where the fuck? This is ridiculous--."

"Amusement park?"

They stared at each other.

"Not on a fucking carousel, damn you." Yuu said.

"But…carousels are safe." Kaname replied.

"What? Are you fucking kidding? Safe equals lame!"

"Safe equals me alive."

"You're fucking immortal vampire and you're fucking afraid of…what, _roller coasters_?"

Kaname felt a cold knot in his gut but chose to ignore it. Yuu however, had caught on fast.

"Haha. Ha. Ha. Hahahahahahahaha. You're fucking afraid of roller coasters, aren't you? Aren't you?"

He. Could. Not. Answer.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No backing down, Kaname Kuran. I say it's in an amusement park, and you will fucking ride that insane roller coaster with me, _in front_!"

The cold knot in Kaname's guts seemed to roil and turn into a monster.

* * *

_Watch out for the sequel to this story. Coming soon._


	24. And Around We Go

**24 - And Around We Go**

* * *

Kaname remembered it like he remembered the plague that ravished Europe in the Middle Ages. The first roller coaster he ever rode was at Cedar Point, with a smiling, assuring Takuma Ichijou with him. They were both twelve years old in vampire reckoning – children, to be exact (of course, discounting the fact that Kaname's soul was a different matter entirely). Ichijou had assured him that he would have the best time of his life that morning – and Kaname, the idiot, just had to believe his supposed friend.

They took the seats up front. Ichijou was excitedly telling him about the loops and drops just as the railings clamped down on their shoulders and legs. Kaname had been feeling a cold knot in his gut by then, and suddenly wished that he did not allow his mother Juuri to put him in such a predicament. The ascent was slow, and Kaname thought it would be all right.

And then there was the drop, and the rest was history.

He had gone home pale from the ordeal, making Juuri Kuran start up from her seat and embrace him, her voice worried as she asked him what was wrong. Since then he had never gone to amusement parks if he could help it – even when he entered the Cross Academy as the president of the Moon Dorm. It was amazing how many vampires actually went crazy over roller coasters, dropping towers and swaying ships ( the most notorious in the Night Class as follows: Ichijou, Shiki and Ruka). They were all so _human_ regarding that aspect. Ichijou had tried endlessly throughout the years to cure him of the same phobia that he himself had put up, but Kaname would have none of it.

How could he, when the mere thought of the godforsaken ride already froze his guts inside out?

For Kanda, it was a different matter entirely. Exorcist training as early as 8 years of age had already gotten rid of any concept of trivial fear from his bones – and growing up with the likes of Komui and his crazy army in the Science Department made roller coasters very trivial in the list of gut-roiling, puke-spilling and hair-raising experiences.

By the time he was sixteen and already good friends with Lavi, they had already conquered most of the 'fearsome' rides in the world. They always looked forward to a new one, wherever it might be, and would try it as soon as their schedules permitted. When Allen Walker came along, the crowd of crazy amusement park maniacs was completed. By far their current favorite was Six Flags Great Adventure in the US, with the ride Kingda Ka as Kanda's current best on his own list.

--

Teleporting was a strange experience. In the split second it took for the Ark to transport one from point A to point B, a myriad of sensations could already be felt. First was the sudden darkness that rendered vision useless, and during this darkness, there was this odd feeling of being stretched and being forced to go through such a small hole, only you could not see it. Bones should have been broken, tendons should have been snapped, and the skull should have been crushed with the pressure.

And then, abruptly, you were there, wherever it was that was your destination.

When Kaname opened his eyes they were in the middle of a milling crowd in a huge amusement park. Kaname had no idea where this was, except that the sky and the general scent of the land was vaguely familiar – it was, however, a place he had visited before. He looked around at the people – nobody seemed to notice that two men had suddenly appeared in their midst.

Yuu took a moment to fiddle with his watch. "We're here."

Kaname was busy looking at the towering metal frames that supported the roller coasters. There was more than one, wherever this was. He felt the awful cold knot again, and it was tight inside him, real tight. He looked at Yuu, who was already walking.

"Yuu! Wait!"

He sought to catch up with his lover and quickly fell to step beside him. There was this look of no-nonsense on Yuu Kanda's face, and he wove his way through the crowd easily, as if he had been here many times. He walked quickly. Kaname's pace was slower; he did not want to bump into people and break their bones. He flung out his hand and grasped Yuu's, and held on tightly.

Yuu stopped walking and looked at their hands.

"You walk so fast," Kaname complained softly. "You know I can't just barrel my way through this crowd – I can kill them all simply by bumping into them, and I don't want such a big fuss."

"Let go of my hand." Yuu replied.

Kaname let go, a bit hurt. "I was just…"

"You gave your word, now keep it." He walked again, though slower this time. Kaname trailed after him silently.

Whatever feeling Kaname had at the sudden brushing off was cut when they finally came to the first ride they were going to try. The line was long; the crowd of men, women, children and a few in-betweens snaked through the general milling mass. And, not far from them was a sort of wall with the sign of Batman, and the words 'The Ride' underneath it. Kaname blinked.

"Come on."

Yuu was already walking toward the start of the line, earning himself outraged glances from the people. Unsure, Kaname followed him.

"Yuu…we're cutting lines?" he whispered. He could actually feel a bit of killing intent in a few of those gazes.

"There are no lines for the Black Order." Yuu replied crisply as he raised the Vatican's Silver Cross of Exorcists. The man who managed the ride entrance quickly recognized the cross and side-stepped to let them pass. "Please make sure the two seats up front are vacant. Throw them out if you have to."

"Yes sir." The man replied and called a co-worker to assist them.

Kaname swallowed. Yuu, it seemed, still hated him. Like hell.

--

His head spun, and his guts, it seemed, was conducting a revolution inside him. Kaname was on his knees, but thankfully there was no vomit – at least, not yet. The white spots danced in front of his vision, and his ears can't seem to decide if they wanted him to fall or stand.

"And you call yourself an Exorcist?" came Yuu's voice. "I would have thought Komui's hellish preliminary training have gotten rid of any fear inside of you by now."

"I. Hate. You." Kaname groaned the words out. He tasted something bitter at the back of his throat. He clapped a hand to his mouth.

"You looked like you were ready to die when we reached the zero-g roll." There was no mistaking the amusement in Yuu's voice. Kaname wanted to strangle him at the moment.

"I hate you, Yuu. I hate you."

"Whose idea was it to go on a date in an amusement park, Kaname Kuran?"

Well…that, he could not answer.

"Come on. You haven't met El Toro and Kingda Ka just yet."

Oh gods, no. Kaname shut his eyes and gritted his teeth.

His lover was a hundred times worse than Ichijou.

--

Yagari Toga was sure that purebloods could never walk in daylight. The sole exception to this was senile Kaien Cross' foster daughter, Yuki Kuran, who had been sealed when she was young. Nowadays Yuki Kuran was back as a fully-pledged vampire, and her only handicaps was that she could not look at the sun for too long, for it fried her eyes. All other purebloods did not share this ability. It was their non-human genes that prevented them from enjoying daylight, unlike all other vampire classes in the world.

But there was no mistaking the dark-haired and crimson eyed figure he had seen a few meters to his right just now. By the gods, Yagari knew all the faces of the purebloods in the world, much more Kaname Kuran's, the society's favorite.

Yagari knew Kaname Kuran had been missing for some time prior. He came back to Cross Academy after two years of absolutely no news, and after then his stays were fleeting. It seemed he had left everything to Takuma Ichijou and his sister. Yagari knew because his Kiryuu twins were still vampire hunters, they still respected him as their teacher, and that they passed on any information to him if they deemed that he should know it. Hence, his knowledge.

But to see it with his own eyes was…supernatural, to say the least. It was the peak of creepy, to see a pureblood walking free in the middle of such an unsuspecting crowd, with the sun high above their heads. Kaname Kuran was even clad as casually as you please – dark long sleeved shirt, white slacks, black leather shoes. He didn't even start smoking like bacon that's left on the pan too long. Hell, Kaname Kuran looked like the sun was the least of his worries.

_Impossible._

The society should know this, at least. And the vampire Council of the Ancients. Yagari Toga turned on his heels just as he dropped his cigarette into a nearby trash bin.

--

"This is my favorite ride of all."

Kaname thought that El Toro was the most frightening thing he had ever gone through. He could fly, yes, he could cruise at altitudes beyond what was normal for humans, but somehow, his experience and his nerves failed when they rode through the wooden roller coaster, zooming, climbing, slowing, dropping, dropping, dropping, screaming, dropping, speeding, swooshing, whizzing and zooming, their hair flying all around their heads.

His knees were still shaking as Yuu finally led him to his favorite ride. It towered above everything else, and when he saw the cars zoom by with the people riding on it screaming their lungs out, Kaname wanted to stop. Quit. Surrender. Back out. Run. Hide.

"I'm going to die…" the vampire whispered weakly, faintly.

He held Yuu's hand, and this time, his lover didn't mind. He flashed his cross at the personnel and they were quickly given the front seats, much to the amazement and shock of the outraged crowd. There surely were no lines for the Black Order.

There was a hiss as the restraints moved to their places. Kaname glanced at his lover – Yuu even looked expectant, as excited as he could get. His hands were calmly folded onto his lap, and the only way to tell that he was actually excited was an odd gleam in his gray eyes that Kaname had not quite seen before.

And the countdown began as the train slowly moved to the launch area.

…

…

…

_I'm going to die—_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Kaname's scream was lost in the speed and the wind that seemed to push back his voice back to his throat. It was like teleporting again, with all the pressure pressing at you from all sides, only this time, the pressure was focused on your front and in your gut, a cold iron hand that squeezed and squeezed, and your mouth remained open, screaming, screaming, yet your voice was lost, lost, lost, and your hair flying, flying, flying, and you could actually feel your cheeks stretching, stretching, stretching.

"DON'T ROLL BACK, FUCK YOU, DON'T ROLL BACK!"

Yuu's voice came as a surprise. Kaname turned his head, but all he could see was Yuu's gorgeous hair, surrounding his lover like a black cloud.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING ROLL BACK!"

And up.

Up to the top hat they went.

Up.

Up.

Up.

Up—

TWIST! Kaname felt like his guts had melted inside him—

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Kaname screamed again, his grip on the restraints already sending very, very fine cracks through it.

And down—

There was a wet, squelching sound behind them. The faint smell of vomit reached Kaname's nose, but he was strangely numb, detached from his own body it seemed. There was this feeling of weightlessness, and his guts had left him forever. He felt cold, cold, cold, colder than death.

Then it was over. As quickly as that.

"Awesome." Yuu was laughing quietly as he pushed his hair out of his eyes. His lover turned to him. "Still alive?"

"I….hate you." Was all Kaname managed before he fainted.

--

He regained consciousness and found himself lying on a bench. He sat up and found out that his lover was nowhere near him. There was a dull throb inside Kaname's head, but he ignored it as he forced himself to his feet, wobbling slightly as he went. The crowd milled around him, and there were a few mascots giving balloons alongside cotton candy and popcorn stands.

"Yuu--?"

Kaname quickly lost himself in the crowd, head turning this way and that for any sight of that familiar, raven-haired head. His nausea had finally given way for worry, and there was still a coldness in his gut that had nothing to do with freaking roller coasters and their loops.

"YUU!"

He grabbed a nearby clown and asked if the man had seen his lover. Kaname gave an accurate description – Yuu's hair already made him stand out in the crowd, but the clown shook his head and politely suggested paging. Kaname backtracked and looked some more.

_Where are you, Yuu? Where—_

Blood. Kaname's eyes turned bright red at the unmistakable scent of blood.

_Yuu!_

He kept his mouth clamped shut as he felt his fangs grow and sharpen. Kaname let his nose lead the way, and he wove through the crowd, through the rides, through everything, until finally he came to some official-looking buildings.

"Yuu…?"

His lover was standing at behind a building, with his back facing him. This close, the smell of blood was so strong. So strong, Kaname felt his thirst rekindled with the scent alone.

"Yuu! What—?" He grabbed his lover's shoulders and made him turn around.

The sight made Kaname step back. Blood was flowing out of the corners of Yuu's lips, and there was a red blast on each of his hands, soaking his fingers, running down in red trickles down his arms, the red contrasting against his pale skin. Kaname looked down and saw the pool at Yuu's boot heels.

"I guess…" Yuu said softly. "There is no hiding it from you now."

_No._

_No._

_No._

_No._

_NO._


	25. When We Trip And Fall

**25 - When We Trip And Fall**

* * *

He could remember licking off the blood. How he took Yuu's hands tenderly in his own, then using his tongue, he slowly licked off the blood from his lover's fingers, working slowly and carefully. How he sucked each finger clean after licking them, and then moving on to Yuu's palm, lapping up the blood, cleaning his wrist afterwards. He moved to Yuu's lips next, licking the blood off too, down, down to the neck, only to end in a kiss, to take in every rattling cough into his own mouth, and with it the stream of blood that came soon after. Yuu's blood remained sweet, despite everything.

Kaname could remember drawing back, cupping Yuu's face and resting his forehead against his lover's.

"Yuu, it's the hourglass, isn't it?"

And then he woke up with a jolt.

--

_The hourglass._

Kaname woke up seeing the familiar, round lights that were embedded into the ceiling of one of the many lounges in the Black Order headquarters. He was back in France. He was lying on the couch. Everything had been a bad dream…or was it? Kaname sat up immediately, eyes bright red, nose already sniffing the air for a trace of Yuu's blood.

There was nothing. Kaname raised a shaking hand to his face and remained sitting, quiet, for some time.

The door to the lounge creaked open. Kaname peeked from the gap between his fingers and watched as General Lavi entered, an empty tumbler in his hand. The Bookman stopped, sensing his presence, and turned to him, one emerald green eye looking at him. It struck Kaname how Lavi's eyes resembled Yuu's in a way – both devoid of thoughts, both empty, both having the capacity to conceal a million, million lies.

The Black Order was full of liars.

General Lavi gave him a small nod and went to refill his tumbler from the nearby water dispenser. Kaname could hear the flow of the water from the container and as it splashed into General Lavi's cup.

"In serving the Vatican," General Lavi began. "Meeting Arystar Krory was an astounding experience. Did you know that he almost bit me and Allen when we were trying to recruit him? His Innocence is a parasitic type, found, coincidentally, in his vampire fangs. Though a pureblood, from the tests conducted by the Science Department, we found out that his bite is actually very safe – it won't turn any human into a vampire. On Akuma, it's a different matter entirely."

Kaname did not know this. The details about Arystar's life as an Exorcist were something he was not aware of. He watched as General Lavi straightened up and faced him, one hand on his waist, the other holding his tumbler as he took small sips from it. Their eyes never left each other's.

"I must say that to meet another pureblood was something I wasn't counting on." General Lavi smiled, that smile that did not reach his eyes.

…

"Innocence is a bitch," General Lavi went on. "Most of the time, it takes us from the life we've known all our lives and pitches us in the middle of a never-ending war, it seems, against the cold virus. Akuma have been around since the Earl has been around, and even then, the Earl has been around since humans first knew the pain of losing a loved one to death.

"Akuma evolve. The greater Man's Greed gets, the stronger Akuma become. To counter this, Innocence evolves as well. The critical rate goes higher and higher. One hundred years ago, the critical rate was just 100. Now, it's close to 500. My rate is 520. Allen's rate is 525, and Yuu's rate is 528."

Kaname blinked his crimson eyes slowly. "I know all of this, General. I have had enough introduction and training in the Black Order."

But Lavi wagged a finger and sat down on the pouf directly across Kaname.

"Did you know that parasitic types take a higher toll on the wielder, the higher it's sync rate is?"

…

_The hourglass._

"Did you ever wonder why Allen eats a lot? Did you know that Allen can eat for 20 people in just one sitting? And normally, Allen's meal equals three to five sittings." General Lavi grinned in a seemingly merry manner. "Parasitic types need all the energy they can get. These types of Innocence grant full immunity to blood bullets and an insane healing rate. Maybe even greater than you vampires' own rate."

Kaname remembered what Yuu told him about Bookmen – keepers of written and unwritten history.

"Parasitic types also have inhuman strength. Allen can carry a double-decker bus with one hand."

The pureblood leant forward, chin resting on his right palm. General Lavi sank into his pouf more, relaxing.

"Usually, a normal parasitic type only need worry about avoiding overuse of his Innocence. Know your limits, you keep a healthy life."

Not once did Kaname blink.

"But there are certain parasitic types that have evolved throughout the centuries. The Seven – you know them, right? The Seven most Powerful Innocence fragments that the Heart first created – are all special, highly-evolved parasitic Innocence. They take graver tolls on their wielders. Wielders of one of the Seven die young."

"What are you saying, General Lavi?" Kaname said, quietly.

The Bookman waved a hand, telling Kaname not to interrupt him – that questions should come later.

"It's the coldness that attracted you, didn't it?"

…

The other hand on Kaname's knee clenched. The small smile on General Lavi's lips did not go away.

"It's the distance and the sharpness that gets us." Lavi went on. "The _need_ to discover why he's so aloof. Why he's so cold. Why he shuns everyone like they were shit. Why he looks at you like you're nothing but filth sticking to his shoe, filth he longs to rid the world of. Correct?"

Kaname found himself nodding. "Correct." He said, almost inaudibly.

"What would you do if you were a boy, nine years of age, and a doctor tells you that you only have a limited time to live? That you can't go beyond…say…thirty years of age? You grow up…you pass adolescence…the knowledge that you will die young forever hanging above your head? It's not even a terminal illness. You were born with it. You're _timed_. You're healthy. You're talented. You want to have friends, and people want to be friends with you, but the knowledge that you're _timed_ prevents you from forming attachments and proper relationships." General Lavi said this blandly as he clasped his hands together on his middle. His expression had softened. His eyes a bit more tender. Tender and sad. "You're scared of having people too close. Because you know you'll never be able to know them in old age. You won't be able to grow with them fully. Yours will be a stunted growth. You will die even before your potentials are all discovered and honed."

Kaname was on his feet, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Blood was pounding in his ears. He could feel his fangs protruding from his lips, but they were not there because of his unending thirst. General Lavi looked at him, still with that bland expression on his face.

"You cannot tell the people around you that you are timed." The Bookman went on. "You can't. _Because you don't want them to hurt_. You love them so much, though you don't show it, and you don't want them to hurt. The last thing you'd ever want as you leave this world is to cause them to cry. But then there's no helping that. People will cry for you. Cry because they found out too late. Why you're distant. Why you're aloof. Why you've always held them at bay, when in truth they meant more to you than the whole world."

The hourglass was so beautiful in his eyes. The lotus, a pink and robust flower, was suspended by unknown means in its upper half. At the lower half were five pieces of brown sludge, but one glance was enough to tell him that they had once been pink too, part of the flower that floated above them. He could not explain how this soft white light emanated from the thing; as far as he knew it was not an electrical device. It was not made by human hands. No living mortal or vampire could possibly craft those intricate details. Those mysterious patterns – swirls, circles, characters of an alphabet of some long-lost civilization maybe. It was the only source of light in that familiar room which smelled of cold steel and lotus flowers.

Finally there was silence. Lavi was watching him, seated comfortably on that pouf, hands folded neatly on his abdomen.

_You're so strong, Yuu…you were always so strong…_

_It's not true, isn't it?_

_But then…_

"He's so kind, isn't he?" Lavi spoke again. "He always becomes sleepless whenever he hears the death of someone under his name, even though that person is just a Finder." He laughed softly. "But Allen is worse. That kid could bawl like a baby sometimes. And he calls himself an Exorcist."

"Then…" said Kaname.

"Yuu doesn't need this kind of burden." Lavi said, his voice gaining an edge. "I know you make him happy. Hell, I haven't seen him that happy before. He doesn't say anything, but damn, he's happy. You see it in his eyes, you know. He even cracks jokes now. Sometimes. And he even replies to sms messages now. You know when he replied to a spam of mine a month ago, I swear I very nearly threw my phone into the toilet and flushed it." Pause. "But Yuu doesn't need this. Nobody can do anything about Mugen, you know. Everyone's tried. We can't do anything about it. Don't make this any harder for him. He doesn't need this."

Kaname slowly unclenched his hands. He gave Lavi an empty smile. It did not reach his blood red eyes. "Will leaving him make him feel better? I don't care what you think. I will not leave his side, especially now, when he needs me the most. Now I know why he was so lonely. I will not leave him. Nobody can make me leave him. Not even you."

He left the room without another second glance. The moment he stepped out of the door, the tears came, hot and angry, down his eyes and cheeks.

--

Kanda was the woods, just finished his training routine after the ceremonial cleaning of his katana. He had left Kaname in one of the lounges after they teleported home from Six Flags, where the vampire fainted on him after riding Kingda Ka. Honestly. You'd think an immortal bloodsucker like the bastard would have more guts than that. It was amusing and annoying at the same time.

_Like a fucking kid…_

He made a lethal downward slash and sheathed his sword, afterwards removing his blindfold from his eyes. The training session had made him hot and sweaty. Kanda was only wearing a black hakama as he stood in the clearing, and sheen of perspiration coated his bare, perfect upper body. Mugen and its fire-tendrils gleamed oddly under the stars.

Movement behind him. Kanda whipped around, damp hair dancing. Crimson eyes were suddenly in front of him, and pain shot up from his shoulder and back as he was pushed into a tree, the trunk breaking with the impact, and pieces of bark digging into his back and drawing blood.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, YUU? WHY?"

The anguish in Kaname's voice jolted Kanda's senses. He felt his shoulder creak under the vampire's grip. Kaname's hand was shaking. His eyes were bright red in the semi-darkness, and Kanda could see the faint gleam of moonlight reflected on long, sharp fangs.

But what made him stare was the fact that tears – real, hot tears – were flowing down the vampire's eyes.

!

_He knows._

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY? WHY? WHY?"

Kaname Kuran was crying. Kanda watched, unable to speak, as Kaname leant his forehead on his chest and let out everything. The grip on his shoulders did not falter.

…

That fucking son of a bitch, Lavi. What the fucking hell was he thinking?

_Do you need this kind of burden, Yuu Kanda? What if he turns you into an Akuma? Can he truly bear it, once you're gone? How long before he calls the Earl to bring you back?_

He remembered reading from a book that pureblooded vampires were not allowed to weep in public. Arystar Krory had always been an exception. He was too harmonious with his emotions, Lavi once said.

"I had all the right to know, Yuu – I had all the right to know --!"

…

He raised a hand to Kaname Kuran's cheek, and forced the vampire to look at him.

"I want you to swear that whatever happens, you will not summon the Earl." Kanda whispered. He would not falter. He would spare himself this kind of weakness at least.

"THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE FUCKING EARL, YUU!" Kaname shouted.

"I want you to swear that whatever happens, you will not summon the Earl." Kanda repeated.

"THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE FUCKING – WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME?!" Kaname Kuran pulled back and buried his face in his hands. A great blast of wind flattened every tree in a five hundred meter radius around them both. "Why--?"

"Because I do not need a reason to hate myself even more." Kanda replied.

…

Kaname was shaking his head. His tears did not want to stop.

…

"I want you to swear that you will not turn me." Kanda continued.

"No."

"I want you to swear that you will not turn me."

"No. No. No."

"I want you to swear that you will not turn me."

"NO! FUCK IT ALL, NO, I WILL NOT SURRENDER YOU TO DEATH, YUU KANDA! I WILL NOT! I WILL NOT!"

"YOU WILL SWEAR, FUCK YOU, BECAUSE IF YOU TURN ME, I WILL HATE YOU MORE THAN I EVER HATED THE AKUMA!"

Silence.

He watched as Kaname bowed his head and wiped his eyes. Kaname looked at him, smiling sadly, shook his head, and started retreating. He kept shaking his head until he turned on his heels and finally walked away.

The night breeze was cool against Kanda's body. He loved the way its icy fingers danced through the strands of his long, blue-black hair.

Yuu Kanda closed his eyes, took a great inhale, and fell to his knees. His fists shook. His chest heaved as he sought to keep everything inside. He would spare himself that kind of shame. He would not act like the stupid moyashi. He would not be able to live that down. He will not do it.

--

Takuma Ichijou winced and wrung his hands after reading the long, angry letter that he had just received from his grandfather of the Council of Ancients. As he sat in his own study, the council was already in uproar after having received official news and confirmation from the Vampire Hunter Society that Kaname Kuran could walk in daylight.

_Impossible_…

Only Yuki was supposed to be the exception. Was this because from Kaname's two-year absence previously? What had really happened? Either way, this was the end to all cover-ups. The council demanded that Kaname Kuran appear before them, and explain what had happened.

"Shit…"

Ichijou banged his head on the desk, but the poor desk did not stand a chance against his vampiric strength. It splintered neatly in half, and collapsed onto the floor. Ichijou groaned and reached for his phone, and speed dialed Kaname's new number.

_Please, please, please, please pick up._

He redialed three times before Kaname answered with a thick "Hello?"

"Kaname," Ichijou said, choosing his words carefully. "You need to go home, as soon as possible. The council…demands an explanation for your ability to walk in daylight…"

Kaname was silent for a long time at the other end of the line. Ichijou waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"It will have to wait." Kaname's voice was quiet, heavy. "I have bigger issues here."

"No, Kaname, I'm afraid it cannot wait." Ichijou sighed. "Not unless you want my grandfather appearing in France, you will go home this instant."

The next silence was longer than the first. At one point Senri Shiki stuck his head through the door and asked if Ichijou was coming to class. The Vice President shook his head, and Shiki understood. Still, Kaname was not speaking.

"Kaname," he said. "I cannot cover-up for you anymore. I have reached my limits."

_Please._

_We need you here._

"…Then I will come. I will come. Tell them," there was an unmistakable sob in Kaname's voice. Ichijou had to pull his phone away for a moment and stare at it. "Tell them…tell them I will be there."

And the call ended.

_Was he…was he crying…?_


	26. Flickering Destruction

**26 - Flickering Destruction**

* * *

Dossier alteration in the Archives could only be done by the Supervisor, the Generals, the Branch Directors and members of the Leverrier family. The supercomputer that the Science Department maintained for all records of every Exorcist that had ever existed was named Marie Antoinette. However, the members of the Black Order all called her Marie, or Antoine, because they reasoned the name was too long. She was programmed to be fast and efficient, among all things. She was probably the most advanced technological piece in the world, second to none.

Komui once said that this was where all church collections go – into Marie's regular upgrades, add-ons and other accessories. Presently, Marie held all records of Innocence, Noah, Exorcist, Akuma and the Ark dating since 1 AD.

Yuu Kanda entered Marie's cold and dimly-lit room, his boots making faint squeaks against her polished floors. His hair was in its distinct ponytail, and unlike regular days, he was wearing his full general's regalia – the cross, the medals and whatnots – as his gloved hand clutched Mugen's hilt by his side.

"Marie, online."

His softly-spoken, cool voice was quickly recognized by the computer's sensors. All at once, red, blue and green lights flared across the room as the system shifted from standby to online mode. A cool, female voice surrounded Kanda.

**Greetings, General Kanda. What can I do for you today?**

"Hello, Marie. I'm here to request dossier alteration."

**I have 4,578 dossiers available for editing. I have 346 dossiers currently unavailable, as they are either ongoing present revision or are outdated. Please select a section from the choices I will flash for you.**

A holographic monitor materialized some two meters from Kanda's reach. Dossiers were divided into fifty sections, and then subdivided into each general's name. Kanda touched section 50 and selected his own name.

**You have selected section 50. Team and Finder entries for Yuu Kanda. Please select the dossier you want revised.**

The monitor displayed a list of names. Kanda quickly scrolled down to X and touched the entry for Xanders, Kraez.

**You have selected to revise an Exorcist dossier, for Kraez Xanders. Please click the fields you wish to revise.**

Kanda sighed and touched the entry for NAME.

**Please input new name.**

…

"Kaname Kuran."

**Name change success. Dossier will be moved accordingly after saving. **

He proceeded to the next entry – RACE.

**Please input new race.**

"Pureblood vampire."

**Race change success. Revisions will be filed accordingly after saving.**

Kanda took a deep breath and coughed. He coughed and coughed, the fit shaking his entire frame, his shoulders shuddering. He was soon on his knees, his previously white gloves stained red, and drops of blood soon splattered down onto Marie Antoinette's floor. Pain exploded in his chest, pain so great that breathing suddenly became an agony.

_H-aah--_

The last thing he saw were the doors sliding open and Allen running toward him.

--

Yuki had gone to the airport with Aido, Kain, Seiren and Ichijou to pick up Kaname as his plane arrived from France. She was wearing a simple ensemble for that morning; a cream yellow t-shirt, her plaid skirts, knee-high black socks and her leather shoes. Her long hair she let cascade around her as it pleased. Aido and the others stuck to their usual casual wear. The people in the arrival area have been sneaking glances and admiring looks at their group for the past hour now.

After this, she would go to her first ever council assembly. She had never attended one before, primarily because Kaname would not let her. When they were still together he'd frankly told her that she was a political disaster right now, and needed whatever training she could get from him and Ichijou before she was ready to face the old, old aristocratic politicians of the vampire court. When Kaname drifted away, Ichijou had sought to train her as best as she could, though she was still far from being a good politician in her own right, she decided to attend the assembly that night because Kaname would need her there.

"Ah, there they are."

Yuki perked up, but found out her brother was not alone. He was with another vampire, someone wearing a black cloak and had a silver cross on his chest. His hair was dual-colored, black and white, and he towered over her brother considerably. They were talking in quiet voices.

"Ah! Krory-sama! I can't believe this!" Ichijou quickly walked forward to meet the two. Yuki, intrigued, followed suit, and Aido and the rest trailed after her soon after.

Kaname and Krory stopped talking when they neared. Yuki was quick to note that Kaname was once again bearing that unbearably sad disposition on his ageless face. She tried to reach out a hand to touch him, but he moved away without even looking at her. He was tired, and there were dark shadows under his crimson eyes.

"Arystar Krory-sama. This is an honor!" Ichijou was saying as he shook hands with the other pureblood.

"Takuma Ichijou. It's been too long." Krory said, and Yuki noted his voice was very soft, as if he were perpetually shy of everyone around him.

"Yes, yes…"

Aido had stepped forward to help Kaname with his luggage, but her brother danced away from the other vampire's reach and silently picked up his bags by himself. He also refused Kain's offer of pushing the trolley for him, preferring to do it all alone. Arystar Krory, however, let Ichijou and Seiren take care of his things.

_Brother…_

Yuki quickly fell in step beside Kaname. She glanced up at his face, but he still would not look at her or acknowledge her presence. She eventually puffed her cheek out and grabbed hold of his sleeve.

"Kaname!"

He stopped walking and stared at her, a stare that made her shiver. His crimson eyes were unblinking, his face blank. He looked so dead. For one fleeting moment, Yuki was suddenly aware that her brother was very weary and grieving inside. Her grip on his sleeve faltered, and eventually her hand fell back to her side.

"Please don't touch me." Kaname whispered. "Don't ever touch me."

He continued walking toward the airport's exit, alone, pushing his trolley and leaving them behind. Yuki thought that he was in the verge of tears.

--

There has not been a gathering of the council so big. Normally only three of the oldest aristocrats would conduct an assembly, but that evening, all twelve seats in the chairs were occupied. Even Sara Shirabuki, another pureblood, who normally disdained leaving her home in Austria, had come. The whole Night Class was there too, and everywhere, talk drifted about the newfound ability to walk in daylight.

Aido squirmed in his seat; he had loosened his collar earlier and had taken off his coat before entering the assembly hall. Beside him, the other members of the class were talking in soft voices. Very few had known about the full details of Kaname-sama's life as an Exorcist, however brief those two years and eight months were. True, Kain had told him tidbits of what he knew, but that was not enough. While Aido, like the rest of the court now gathered, wanted to know how the hell Kaname Kuran managed this, he was just mostly content just to find out what happened, really, to the pureblood who had his loyalty.

Yesterday upon arrival, Kaname-sama had done nothing except to lock himself up in his room with the other pureblood with him, Arystar Krory. Kaname had not spoken to any one of them, not even Ichijou. He was silent as a stone in the ride from the airport, and seemed to be in a daze. He did not acknowledge anyone else except Arystar Krory.

Aido had to confess that he had not seen Kaname Kuran look so…helpless.

_The Kaname-sama that I knew from childhood and went to school with was so strong. He was always so distant, holding himself in that sophisticated grace and poise that all purebloods possess. He has a long patience, but I always seemed to push all the wrong buttons more than anyone else in the dorms. But still, Kaname-sama was strong. He never let his emotions surface, except when it came to Yuki back then. But now, seeing him like this…I don't know._

There were speculations in the class of course. But Seiren reasoned that Yuu Kanda's blood could not be so powerful so as to grant Kaname-sama the ability to defy the sun. He was only a mortal, and he wasn't even turned. Which was a real mystery. Judging by the level of passion Kaname-sama had for this man, he should have been bitten lots of times already. Yet Yuu Kanda remained mortal, untainted by the pureblood's fangs. How on earth did he manage this? For one, Aido reasoned, if Yuu Kanda could defy Turning, then surely somehow he could pass on the ability to Kaname-sama, thus enabling him to walk in daylight. It wasn't entirely impossible.

_Kaname-sama has never been this weak before. He has never once shown weakness. But this…seeing him like this…he seems ready to break into a million pieces…_

"The council requests order. We will start soon."

Asato Ichijou's voice washed over Aido's system like a bucket of ice water emptied onto his head. The general susurrus quickly died down as people fixed themselves on their seats. The huge oak doors at the left side of the assembly hall creaked open. Arystar Krory entered the room, making people twist their necks in their seats as they looked at him.

"The council recognizes the presence of Arystar Krory-sama. He shall stand as Kaname Kuran's second voice in this assembly, an official representative of the Black Order of Exorcists."

Another murmur rose up in those words. Aido felt the sudden wariness flare up, like a thickening of the air. Nobody in the vampire court trusted the Vatican, and the Black Order was the Vatican's military arm. There were records in the past of Exorcists killing vampires when the need arose.

A couple of aristocrats were setting up a screen and projector in the middle of the assembly hall. Someone borrowed Shiki's laptop and put it along too. Yuki waved at him from across the assembly hall. She looked positively dolled up in that white lace Lolita dress, but her beauty faltered beside Sara Shirabuki, whom she was sitting beside of. Aido waved back unenthusiastically.

More footsteps. Aido did not turn his head.

"The council recognizes the presence of Kaien Cross, Yagari Toga, Zero Kiryuu and Ichiru Kiryuu as the representatives of the Vampire Hunter Society."

Aido watched Yuki wave at Zero. _Eugh._ He thought, sourly.

"The council recognizes the presence of Kaname Kuran."

Ah. Everyone was on their feet at once as Kaname-sama easily walked toward the middle of the hall, where the laptop and projector awaited him. He was clad in his usual – black, long-sleeved shirt, pure white slacks and fine leather shoes. Under the lights of the hall, Kaname-sama looked wearier than ever.

"Please sit down." Kaname-sama said, his cool voice washing over everyone. Aido felt relieved. "I will answer your questions as well as I can, but you must pardon me if I keep my lips shut if I find that your inquiries will endanger the Black Order."

Out of the corner of his eyes Aido could already see Asato Ichijou getting ready to fire his missiles.

--

"I got recruited into the Black Order exactly two years and eight months ago, by the General Yuu Kanda. Understand that recruitment into the Black Order involves reaction of the fragment of Innocence to a certain presence, called the host. Innocence will not seek another host until the previous one it has chosen has died. There is no option but to join the ranks of the Exorcists, because Innocence attracts the presence of Akuma.

"It has been my life's work to continue what my parents, Haruka and Juuri, have started – to seek an environment for vampires and humans to co-exist peacefully. This is why I started the Night Class in Cross Academy. But the danger of the Akuma I cannot ignore. I do not want the Akuma chasing me into Cross Academy. An aristocrat after all can only do so much against a level 2. Without my Innocence, I can die easily at the hands of a level 3.

"Innocence has gifted me the ability to walk in daylight. Innocence is a fragment left by an ancient civilization, the only weapon known to defeat Akuma. I suppose to remove my great handicap, in order to aid me in my duty as an Exorcist, it has enabled me to step out into the sun without dying. There is nothing else to attribute my strange new skill to."

Yuki was open-mouthed as she stared at the countless pictures that Kaname had flashed before the assembly with the aid of the laptop and projector. Countless pictures taken by cameras of his teammates and friends in the Black Order, they gave her and everyone in the assembly hall a glimpse of Kaname's two years of being…human.

There was a picture of Kaname running on a beach with his teammate, a 13-year-old boy.

There was another picture of himself inside a spacious kitchen, washing dishes.

Another one as he sat by the bell tower of a European church and waving down at the photographer.

Another picture of him being patched up by a man wearing a white hooded coat; his face bloody, but he was still grinning at the camera.

There was also a shot of a white-haired boy with a marking over one eye knocking a fist into Kaname's head, but they were both laughing.

There was a lopsided shot of an Akuma attacking in a street in China.

And many others. Many other fragments of the life that Kaname led, something that was extraordinarily out of reach for most vampires.

"Now if you have questions, I can answer them." Kaname said as his prepared slideshow came to an end.

"This Innocence…how does it choose it's host?" Ichiou said as he fixed the monocle over his left eye.

"I know what you are thinking." Kaname replied easily. "You are all wondering if Innocence can be made to sync with a host that it has not chosen by itself. It is possible. BUT there are grave consequences." He gave the laptop a click, and a picture of a huge, white, hulking monster floating in the skies appeared in the projector. Yuki stared. What horrendous creature was that?

"This is what becomes of anyone trying to force Innocence to sync with him or her." Kaname explained blandly. "This is Togaochi, a Fallen One…and…and…"

She turned to her brother then. Illuminated by the projector lights, Yuki could clearly see Kaname shaking.

"And…and…oh god, oh god, I cannot…"

He broke into tears. Yuki watched, along with the other vampires in the hall, as Kaname dropped to his knees, one hand clamped over the lower half of his face. He was crying…crying like nobody had seen him before, in public. The sobs came sharp and harsh, echoing in the wood-paneled walls. Aido quickly stepped over the railing, followed by Ruka and the rest of the Night Class. Soon they all crowded around him.

_What happened…?_

Yuki too found herself soon joining the huddle, but the pressing bodies of the other Night Class members would not let her through. Vaguely she could hear the rest of the assembly's perplexed murmurs.

"I'm…I'm fine. Please…move away. Move away. DON'T TOUCH ME."

Someone's hand pulled her away. Yuki looked up to find Zero, face blank. He led her back to her seat beside Sara, who was on her feet.

The huddle cleared and Kaname was standing again, taking his time dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. He regained his composure and turned to the projector again.

"It cannot be done. Innocence either chooses you or it doesn't."

Silence.

"But it seems to the council, Kaname Kuran-sama, that conditions can be made favorable." Ichiou was speaking again. "If one refuses to acknowledge the summon of Innocence, surely one person lacking can be made up for by the Exorcist ranks. You did say the generals are actively looking for more suitable recruits."

"That is correct." Kaname replied.

"We cannot understand why you chose to join the Black Order. You know very well you are needed here. Is it not enough that we have already handed over one of our esteemed purebloods – Krory-sama – to their war?" Krory squirmed in his seat. Ichiou went on speaking. "And, aside from that, pulling out of your engagement to your sister, the Lady Yuki is that not a bit too rash? The Lady Yuki and you are the only remaining members of the Kuran family. Surely you will uphold your true duties above all other trivial ones?"

The silence was deafening. Yuki suddenly felt the hostility from Kaname, and it was not a pretty thing.

"Well, Kaname Kuran-sama?" Ichiou pushed. "Surely your joining the Order, if you really must, could have waited after you and Lady Yuki got married and raised a child?"

She could see the rest of the Night Class bristling. Yuki rose.

"P-please. Please, don't push it—!"

But her voice was disregarded. Nobody looked at her twice, except Zero.

"Why! You cannot answer. Is it possible…that you joined the Black Order for other reasons herein unspecified? Like…perhaps…a mortal lover?" Ichiou spat the last two words out like venom.

"You will not put Yuu Kanda into this." Kaname whispered.

"Ah! So it is true?" Ichiou said as he slammed his hand onto his table. "A mortal! Have we not all learned a lesson from the unfortunate tragedy of the Madly Blooming Princess, Shizuka Hiou? Shall we also have you, Kaname Kuran, repeat the same tragedy and spell death to the proud vampire lineage? A mortal! And a man, to boot!"

"WATCH YOUR WORDS, YOU OLD MAN!" Aido shouted. Kain and Shiki were restraining him. Behind him, Seiren and the others looked ready to kill. "LET ME GO, KAIN--!"

Arystar Krory stood up as he took a call and quickly went out of the room.

"Aido. Behave."

Faltering under her brother's command, Yuki watched as the rest of the Night Class went back to their places. She was afraid. There was this terrible cold in her chest that would not go away. All around them, murmurs arose.

"You will not lay a finger on Yuu Kanda." Kaname said. "You will not. If you do, I swear to the very last drop of blood in my veins, I will kill you all."

Yuki found herself closing her eyes. _He was never like this with me. He was never this passionate. Never…_

"Kaname! Kaname!"

Arystar Krory was back. Worry was evident on his face as he went to her brother's side and whispered urgently to his ear. Kaname paled at once.

"You cannot be saying -!"

"I'm going back to France, Kaname. But this -!"

"I will go with you! I will go with you!"

"This council is not yet over, Kaname Kuran-sama, and you will stay--!"

"YOU WILL BE QUIET!" Kaname shouted.

Again, silence. Nobody dared move.

"Kaname, come on--!" Arystar Krory grabbed his arm and fiddled with his watch. And then, the two of them were gone.

_Lucky mortal. Lucky, lucky, lucky mortal, to be loved so much by my brother…_


	27. Crimson

**27 - Crimson**

* * *

It happened so fast, Allen did not even manage to react properly. One minute he had Kanda spluttering blood, then the next minute Kanda was already unconscious and bleeding from his nose, eyes and ears. He had not wasted any moment, though he did not understand everything, one thought stood out in his mind.

_Kanda's dying._

Allen scooped his friend up from Marie Antoinette's floor with his Crown Clown and all but flew to the Infirmary, shocking the wits out of the Head Nurse and her helpers. Komui was soon summoned, and in turn the Chinese sent Reever and Johnny to Kanda's room, asking them to fetch the hourglass.

Nine petals lost, and within the span of some hours, the lotus had changed from a sickly flower to downright wilting. That threw everyone in the Science Department in a panic.

--

Allen had not once imagined Kanda to be like this. At exactly 8:45 pm, Head Nurse had pronounced that Kanda was officially in a comatose. Not even the doctors could tell when he'd wake up, or for that matter, if he would wake up at all. Kanda's private room in the Infirmary was soon crammed with all sorts of medical equipments; weird monitors which displayed his heart beat, blood pressure and other whatnot. He had three kinds of medicine being fed into his system, and a respirator to keep him breathing. Not once, not once, did Allen foresee something like this.

_But Kanda was so strong, so strong…_

How many times did Kanda die during all the missions they've ever worked in? Countless. He had his head blasted off by a Noah, he had himself gutted four times, he had every bone in his body broken and all other grievous injuries Allen could think of, but still Kanda lived, damn he did. In all of his years in the Black Order, Kanda had become the closest representation of invincibility and immortality to Allen Walker. And now he was lying on a hospital bed, comatose, with machines keeping him alive. The Science Department had long taken the hourglass and the lotus into custody for observation.

If there was one thing Allen Walker hated, it was being the last to know. He knew in himself that was not as smart as Lavi or even Kanda, but still, he held his friends importantly and closely and forever wanted to be there for them if he could. Friends mattered the most to Allen Walker because they helped him get through every day of the hellish world he had grown into since receiving his pentacle eye. Friends helped him forget that everywhere he could see the souls trapped within the bodies of Akuma. Friends helped him smile when in fact he was supposed to just break down and cry. Friends helped him fight the 14th Noah inside him and thus not lose his humanity.

Allen _hated_ secrets of this sort. He _hated_ knowing at the last minute, because at the last minute, there was only so much he could do except hope for the best. This almost always turned out to be in vain, really. He hated it. Situations like these grated on his nerves to no end.

When Lavi came round without so much as a trace of panic, that had been the last straw. Allen curled his Crown Clown into a fist and slammed it full-force into the Bookman's face, the punch resonating with his anger and resentment at being kept in the dark.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE EFFING TOLD ME ABOUT THIS?!" Allen screamed outside Kanda's door. "YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, BEING KEPT IN THE DARK?"

Lavi rubbed his cheek as he swallowed the blood in his mouth. "Allen…"

"I'M KANDA'S FRIEND TOO, DAMMIT! I HAVE JUST AS MUCH RIGHTS AS YOU DO TO HELP HIM OUT!" Allen yelled. His usually cheery face was livid, his cheeks flushed. "WHAT, ARE WE ALL GOING TO KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER NOW? IS THAT IT? IS THAT IT?"

The Bookman got back to his feet, still wobbling from the punch.

"Allen, I'm sorry, but Yuu…"

"I. DON'T. EFFING. CARE." Allen snarled through gritted teeth. "I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW!"

At that moment, Ross, Rain and the other teams under Kanda rounded the corner and approached the two generals. Some Finders even came along, and worry was evident on everybody's face. Allen had had to lower his Innocence arm and unclench his fist. But he was still trembling with anger.

"How is Kanda-san?" Rain Antoinette demanded, grabbing Lavi's shirt front. "Please, how is he? What happened?"

"Poyoo!" Ross piped up anxiously from the girl's elbows. All around them, the other teams and the Finders all echoed the questions. How was Kanda? What had happened? Was Kanda going to be all right? Will he wake? What happened? What happened? What happened?

"Explain." Allen said coldly toward Lavi. "Now. And I want no freaking Bookman lies, or I will pound your face to a bloody pulp!"

--

Kaname half-stumbled, half-ran from the teleportation cubicle in which he and Krory materialized after teleporting from the council assembly. Distracted, he shoved everyone out of his way as he went out of the teleportation rooms and took the quickest way toward the Infirmary, unseeing, unhearing, unfeeling of everything except his own loud heartbeat, except for the rushing blood in his ears and head.

_Yuu. I need to see Yuu. _

The walk toward the Infirmary seemed to take an eternity. The crowd outside the room made Kaname stop, and people looked up at him as he neared. Every Finder, every Exorcist under Yuu Kanda's command was there. There were scientists from the Science Department, and even Supervisor Komui. Generals Nine and Rosalinda were present.

_Please, no. Let him be safe. Let him be alive. Please. Please. Please._

He could not rush into the room and see what had become of his lover. He could not, not with these many eyes looking. Everyone was suddenly a wall that seemed to stand between him and his lover. Kaname shoved his hands into his pockets, as they were shaking. He turned to Rain, who was sitting on the bench nearest the closed door. Ross was already asleep, head pillowed on her lap. Rain's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy; she had been crying for hours since hearing Lavi's explanation.

"Rain…Rain, how is…the general?" Kaname had to choke the words out.

The girl looked up at him. "They don't know if he's still going to wake up…" she said, faintly.

_Let him live. Let him live. Let him live._

Krory had already taken a step toward the door. Hand on the doorknob, the other vampire gave it a turn and pushed the door open.

"Ka—Kraez. Come on."

Kaname went inside, Krory closely behind him.

--

Komui, General Lavi, General Walker and Inspector Malcolm de Leverrier were all in the room when Kaname and Krory entered. Whatever conversation they were having was cut short when Kaname gently pushed them all out of the way so he could come to stand by Yuu's bedside. Everything had gone quiet; the only sounds coming from the myriad of medical equipment that surrounded the raven-haired general.

_Yuu…please open your eyes. Please._

Kaname sat down on the bed's edge and folded his hands on his lap. Walls, everywhere around him. He could not take his lover in his arms, could not whisper assuring words to his dead ears. He could not cry in front of these people.

"There is only one logical thing to do," General Walker was saying. "We have to ask Hevlaska to take out Mugen from Kanda's system."

"…Yuu will die." General Lavi said softly.

"Better for him to die as a human than die as a Fallen One!" General Walker snapped. "I'm sure it's what Linali would've wanted, if she was here…"

"I don't give a damn what you will do," Inspector de Leverrier cut in. "A dead man is a dead man, but I want all of his dossiers turned out, inspected and revised! I will call Froi Tiedoll to the Vatican if it is needed! Concealing such information from us – what if Yuu Kanda bore the Heart and we did not even know it? Preposterous -!"

_They're deciding your fate, Yuu…what would you have wanted to happen?_

Yuu Kanda was not a dead man. The monitor showed that he was still alive. His heart was still beating, despite the fact that he was lying here, and his hands were colder than ice. Kaname let his eyes rest onto his lover's face. How hateful that thing was inserted rudely into Yuu's nose. How ugly all these intravenous things that fed into his arms. How noisy these machines. How cold, cold, Yuu's fingers were.

_I will not let you die. I will not lose anyone important anymore. I will not lose you._

_Not you._

_Not you._

Kaname moved his hand and held Yuu's tightly. He raised the limp hand to his lips and kissed the cold fingers passionately. Teardrops leaked out of his eyes and trailed down his cheeks.

_I know you will hate me. I know. But I will not let you die. This is the only way, Yuu…_

"You, what are you doing here?" Malcolm de Leverrier's voice cracked through Kaname's thoughts like a whip. "Get out, Exorcist!"

He could feel General Lavi's piercing gaze on his back.

…

Kaname rose silently and obediently.

"Forgive my rudeness."

He went out of the room and closed the door gently behind him.

--

A week passed, and a heavy pall had settled over HQ. All the Exorcist and Finder teams under Yuu Kanda's name had taken a routine of maintaining a vigil outside the general's door. Exorcists returning from the mission never failed to drop by or peek, whispering their hi's and small summaries of their missions to their superior. Sometimes General Walker would stay for hours on end, cracking jokes or telling stories despite the fact that Yuu Kanda could possibly not hear him.

During the course of seven days, Kanda's sync rate had fallen from 528, deteriorating rapidly and coming to a halt under the normal level. Come the sixth day of his comatose, his sync rate had already dropped to 18. The Science Department had noted that another petal had fallen off the now mostly brown lotus flower. The soft white glow of the hourglass had faded since the fifth day. There was a visible darkening of the glass and dullness on the hourglass's frames.

The time was nearing.

--

Midnight.

Kaname strode purposefully toward Yuu's room, his hands at his sides. Deciding had been easy. In fact, he had already decided back in that godforsaken assembly, when Krory had taken the call and told him what had happened. At 9 pm earlier in a meeting of all the generals, branch directors and Malcolm de Leverrier, it was decided that Hevlaska take Mugen out of Yuu's system. The Order did not want risking a transformation of a critical rater into a Togaochi. They did not want that much Akuma attracted to the HQ, for that meant risking the other half of the heart that the Order possessed.

They were going to let Yuu die.

_No._

There was nobody outside the room now. All the weeping and protesting had been done earlier. Rain Antoinette had made a memorable scene by rushing up toward Malcolm de Leverrier and clawing the man's face. She was on probation, but she did not give a damn. Well, given the chance, Kaname would have done more terrible things to the hateful Hitler look-a-like, but she beat him to it.

The doorknob turned under Kaname's hand without a sound. Inside, the room was faintly lit with a lamp. Yuu looked beautiful and peaceful on the bed, his hair spilled around him like ink.

…

_Yuu…forgive me…_

He sat beside his lover's prone body. Under the pale light, Kaname brushed his fingers on Yuu Kanda's cheeks. The skin was smooth.

_You would probably be dead in two hours. I can hear your heart giving up…_

The tears came again. Kaname took Yuu into his arms gently, gently, as if he were holding the frailest porcelain in the world. There was no resistance in the body; Yuu's head lolled back, his hair cascading easily, his arms limp. His lips a bit parted. Kaname buried his nose into his lover's chest, taking in that wonderful scent of cold steel and lotus flowers.

His tongue was hot against Yuu's skin. He gave the neck a long, lingering lick. His fangs were at their sharpest against his lips.

_Yuu…I love you…_

The blood that spurted into Kaname's mouth was hot like fire. It easily spilled down his throat, and he relished the thickness and its taste, as he drank hungrily, hungrily.

"Unh--!"

His arms tightened around his lover. He drank and drank, like no tomorrow. He was sucking Yuu Kanda dry, and without an Innocence, all that blood was not being replenished now.

"Ka…name…"

Yuu's voice was weak, very weak.

"…Ka…na…me…"

Kaname bit deeper. There was a faint, pained whimper from Yuu.

"St…op…st…op…."

_I can't, Yuu. I know this is selfish, but it will make you mine longer._

His lover gave a rattling breath. His ears could hear the heart straining tremendously now, trying to keep blood supplied all over the body. The lungs were fumbling for the oxygen that was no longer enough.

"…s…top…"

Kaname bit his own tongue hard. Thick blood filled his mouth quickly. A mingled taste of himself and Yuu.

"Take it from me, Yuu, take it from me. Take it from me and live. Live. Live."

Blood flowed out of Kaname's mouth, a crimson waterfall staining his clothes and the white sheets. His mouth closed over Yuu's, the torrent of his blood spilling into his lover's body. Blood trickled from where their lips clamped over one another.

_Take it from me and live._

He felt Yuu swallow. Once. Twice. Thrice.

Kaname pressed closer. More blood trickled down their chins and necks.

Yuu kept swallowing, faster, faster, faster, faster.

The heartbeat regained its steady pace. The lungs suddenly had oxygen again. Yuu's hand flew to his hair and gripped a fistful of the dark brown strands, an unforgiving hold. Pain from somewhere on Kaname's scalp.

Kaname felt his tongue heal. They parted lips, and Kaname took great hungry inhales of air.

"Yuu…"

The eyes that looked back into his own were no longer the gray of winter skies. The eyes that stared back were a bright red in color, the color of warm, thick blood. Kaname cupped his beloved's face in his hands. He leaned forward, the tiniest of gestures, and licked off the blood from Yuu's chin and lips. His tongue licked the fangs that were not there before.

Kaname looked into those crimson eyes again. Those crimson eyes that displayed an insatiate thirst for blood – his blood, anybody's blood.

"I love you, Yuu Kanda. I love you."

He wrapped Yuu in his arms. He would suffer for this, he knew.

Gladly.

**-End-**

* * *

_Please watch out for the sequel story. I don't know as of now whether I should post it in D.Gray Man or Vampire Knights section. When it comes up, it will come up, and you will see it. Thanks so much for supporting the story! I hope to see you all in the next installment!_


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